Tag: Relation

A Juliet like story

Romeo and Juliet
Heer and Ranjha
Laila and Majnu
Radha and Krishna

We all have read their stories, loved their stories and lived their stories. Most of the times we have witnessed these love stories but were these things for real? They could sense each other’s pain, no doubt how apart they were. They never got married but still their love is the most divine one but what if it’s only one sided.

Would these stories have been still so famous if only Juliet could feel the pain and Romeo had no clue of it? If only Juliet was irrevocably in love with Romeo? What would we call that story then? A partial love story or we’ll stick with the general name “A one sided love story?”

What if you are the Juliet? What if the one you love doesn’t love you, would you be happy? Would you still be in love forever?

I knew a girl who was a Juliet of her own story; sorry who is The Juliet in real sense and this is her story.

It was a cold December night; she was standing in front of the mirror staring at her own reflection. She was talking to herself. “I need to stay awake and study.” She repeated 5 times looking in her eyes. She was determined in her thoughts.

Suddenly she started feeling nervous. Her body started sweating. She removed all her clothes, switched on the fan but nothing could stop the sweat. It felt as if her body was getting hot from inside up. She had no one around, her parents were sleeping.

How could she even explain it to anyone especially when she was wearing nothing? Tears started rolling down her cheeks, it was 2am, and what was she supposed to do? She didn’t have a single clue of what was happening to her. She took her cell phone and decided to call one of her gems. Damn she didn’t pick up. Next on the list was her another gem but what would she tell him?

She had no idea so she decided just to text him what exactly she was going through. With all her courage and hope she texted him “Hey sorry to bother you so late but I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sweating in such a cold night and I’m kind of feeling very nervous”

She waited for 5 minutes for his reply but she didn’t get any fruit for her patience. She started crying even louder just when her cell phone rang; composing herself she picked up the phone. It was him. With a low voice she spoke:

“Hello”

“Hey! What’s wrong sweetie? ”He enquired (worriedly)

“I really don’t know” she replied

“Have you gone mad or what? I took a drug just now that keeps the body warm and sweating is its first symptom but why are you feeling this way. I took it, there is no way that you could feel the same” he said it all in one breath.

She could sense a little worry in his voice as well. It was an unusual thing that happened.

Listening to his voice she froze for a minute. She didn’t know how to respond. This was the first time something like this had happened with her. She was just 17 and a girl full of ambition and dreams. She was too innocent to understand this feeling.

“Hey you here right?” he asked

“Yeah, I guess I should sleep” she replied

She cut the phone but kept looking at the screen. She still was confused with this unusual feeling. She kept on staring at the ceiling of her room. The stars were twinkling and shining. Her brain was continuously thinking the whole night about this incident. His every memory was flashing in her mind like a movie.

From the first time she saw him till their last talk.

It was first of January; she was waiting for her friend. It was her birthday. At the corner of the stairs there stood a boy wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. He was standing at a distance but all the girl’s eyes were on him. He was fair and tall and his hair was black as a ravens. You could see his bright eyes shine through his fair face.

It felt as if she knew him from a very long time. She knew what his name was, she knew everything about him but she had never met him before. Her friend had told her a lot about him and that’s how she didn’t even take a second to recognize him. She could read his eyes, she could read his face but all those things were never noticed until this night. All of a sudden in that second all the things that ever happened to her related to him started making sense.

She realized she could feel his pain. Somehow she felt deprived of her own existence. She felt as if her soul was not her own anymore. His face, his eyes were coming in front of her again and again. She couldn’t get rid of his vision. She felt cheated because her heart was not hers anymore. It had gone without even asking her .She always wanted to fall in love. But this feeling was annoying. Feeling his pain gave her happiness but at the same time it used to make her realize that he doesn’t love her. He would never love her. Why would he? He was her best friend’s boyfriend.

This isn’t right, her mind kept on saying. She had fallen for someone who would never ever fall for her. She had become the Juliet of her own story but with a Romeo who would never acknowledge her love. She was in love with the idea of love but his feeling; it was killing her from inside.

She thought if she would stay away from him it this feeling won’t haunt her and she would be back again.

She didn’t talk with him for days, ignored his calls, ignored his texts and even if by chance they would have a conference talk, she wouldn’t communicate with him.

Things were getting stabilized just then her left leg started paining a lot without any reason. She just sat on her bed and started rubbing it. Her cell’s screen flashed a new number and just to check who it was she picked up the call. It was him again. Before she could recognize and cut the call he told her that he was injured because a rod had just hurt this left leg.

“Why can’t you take care of yourself you dumb” she replied

“Look who’s talking? Now you talk with me you idiot. Where the hell have you been.” He asked
“I wanted to be alone for a while that’s it, don’t change the topic how did you got hurt?” she answered
“A rod went inside my leg, I was riding on the bike and then suddenly the bike slipped and there was a broken rod beside the construction work and it went inside my leg. And why should I take care of myself, what will you do then? ” he asked,

“What the hell! Don’t you know how to drive and just look at you, you are laughing. “she said (angrily)

“Why are you getting mad, I’m all good” he said

“Hmm better be good, it’s not only your life anymore”, she pleaded

He didn’t understand the meaning of her sentence and he would never ever understand it because he was too busy in his own pain.
Things had become common for her now; she could tell when he was awake, when he was drunk, when he cried, when he got hurt, when he needed her. She was THE JULIET in real sense but his Romeo never recognized her.

She knew there was no sense in running away from him. She was his best-friend. He would tell her his every secret, would flirt with her, tell her how important she is and would be with her whenever she needed him.

All was going good apart from one simple thing, she had made him number one priority and was destroying herself each day whether it was her studies or anything else related to her career, her happiness. She would stay awake for him all night just to listen to his all day buzz. She would stay quiet when he used to talk with her.

She used to flirt with him, tease him but when it was his turn to speak she would listen in a very calm way. He would tell her each and every thing at the end of the day and would narrate her stories at time. They would talk about almost everything and still they would get a new topic to discuss each night. She would call her Barbie and he would fight with her because of this name.

Somehow that innocent little girl had no idea where her feeling was taking her. Days passed but her love just grew stronger and stronger. He would tell her about the girls he met, the girls he liked.

She would give her suggestions how to behave on a date and she would cry in the night because she had no idea if she could confess her feelings.

She knew he would leave her and the simple fear losing him would kill her more. She always wanted his happiness and she could trade all her life for him but the point of fact was he didn’t know how much she loved him.

He had taken her for granted, no doubt he would fight with the whole world for her but he never knew how hurt she was. She was hiding her feeling from him and that was the most painful task to do. She had to be pretentious in front of him. She used to love him a lot but this love was very hurting. And that day she wrote her first love letter:
“Dear Barbie
I know you hate this name but I can’t help myself from calling you this. And the simplest reason of it is that you are as pure as a Barbie doll. You are someone on whom I can rely on, who would never hurt me intentionally and would be with me whenever I need you.
I know you must be wondering why I am writing you all this because to be honest I don’t have enough guts to say it to you. I have fallen in love with you. Not a usual one, intense and deep one but I can’t hide it anymore from you. I love you a lot Barbie and I always will till the end of this time. I can’t control it anymore;

I can’t hide from you anymore. I can do anything for you but I am tired of this now. You never listen to me nor do you know how much you mean to me. I can’t see you getting destroyed because that destroys me as well. You deserve all the happiness in the world but you are stuck to that single girl who doesn’t care about you at all.

I’m tired of feeling your pain Barbie, I’m sick of feeling your soul into mine. Wherever I look I see your face and it just won’t stop. Every guy I see, I see your reflection in him. It’s scary and I have no one to express this fear. I want to get you out of my heart and mind and you won’t go so I’m writing you this letter Barbie to get all the things out of my heart.

I love you irrevocably and unconditionally and I don’t expect your love in return because I know it’s an unreal dream doll but whenever you need me, you can always count on me.

You are my best friend, you taught me what it feels to be in love but you never told me the most important thing when you fall in love was that the other person should also love you. You should have told me how it hurts when the former person doesn’t feel the same for you.
You didn’t tell me any of it and see I am here alone fighting with my own fears.
Well you always knew I was in LOVE with the idea of love, the typical ROMEO-JULIET love but I never thought I’ll fall in love with you who’ll never love me back and get stuck into this Juliet stuff all alone with my Romeo so scared from me that he would just run away as far as possible on seeing me.

Sometimes I do doubt my love but then I don’t get any good explanation of what I suffer from when he isn’t around but I could sense each pain that he goes through even if he’s miles apart.

I know it might sound a bit unreal and only magical but trust me you would never want this to happen in your lives because it is something beyond just LOVE stuff….

I can’t help it but the thing is I actually hate to love you.
Being in love is not that easy and if you ask me I think that
“It’s always better to be loved than to love.”

Yeah I know it’s your favorite line but trust me you are very lucky that someone loves you this way doll….stay happy.

Your very own
Basanti

She wrote it and cried a lot but then as her tears rolled her eyes she folded this paper and kept in her diary so that nobody could ever know how weak she was from inside. She was smiling seeing his pictures. She was praying for his happiness. She had decided that she would not talk to him anymore.

She would try to move on in her life. She would make new friends who would know her worth, who would know that she was priceless. Someone who would acknowledge her, love her truly not just as a lover but as a friend, as a protector, as a princess. She wouldn’t pick his call she decided for the sake of deciding.

It was late at night, he called her and she talked with him the whole night.
Her letter still lies in her diary waiting for her Romeo to read it….

March 25, 2016
DHRUV-TARA : Story of Siblings

Dhruv-Tara is not the story of the star we know. Its about the shine of this star that reflects in the relation of the brother and sister in this story. We always wish to have a brother/sister whom we can rely on and who fulfills our wishes without telling. this is a story of a similar girl whose brother is always there for.

                                “Tara! Tara! Where are you dear?” asked the young boy coming in through the doorway.

He was Dhruv, a 19 year old boy, the elder brother of Tara. “Tara, look I have brought you the shoes you wished to wear on your birthday. Come, put them on and show how they look on you?” Tara came running to see what her brother had brought for her. But when she saw the shoes the smile on her face just vanished away. She angrily told him “What is this bhaiya? I wanted the pink shoes and look you bought me the white ones. You always do this.” And she started crying. Dhruv tried to console her and said, “But Tara this shoes would go with your school uniform too. And look how beautiful and stylish they are.” But Tara was not going to listen any of his explanation. She wanted to have the pink shoes that her friend Priya had.

                                Dhruv was studying in an engineering college and had to work along with his studies to be able to give her sister all the comfort she ever wanted. On the other hand Tara was 9-year old cute little girl, who was very stubborn and always wanted something more than her brother could afford. But still Dhruv tried to give all the happiness to his sister. He did not take account of his needs so that he can provide her sister with all the luxuries and lavishness she ever thought of. He never wanted her to think that the death of their mom and dad had affected their life. He never let her miss her mother and father.

                                After some days she went to Dhruv and said, “Bhaiya, I want a new dress on my birthday.

All my friends have got a new frock on their birthdays. I also want one.” Her brother thought for a while, sighed and said sadly, “Tara I’m sorry but nowadays we are running out of money. You know we have to pay the rent of this house in the first week of the month. And I have also not yet received my salary. So this time I’ll not be able to present you a new dress on your birthday. I am really sorry for that dear. Hope you’ll understand.” But Tara was not going to understand. She thought that her brother didn’t want to give her anything on her birthday. So she ran to her room and started weeping. But Dhruv had no way to calm her down and make her know that how he was trying to make her birthday special but failed every time he tried to do something good for her.

                                This went for a few years. Dhruv had now completed her graduation. He had got a better job. Tara was now in college. She was studying fashion designing, which had been her dream since she was in school. After many efforts Dhruv had done her admission in the best fashion designing college of the city.

Now they were getting better standards of living. After completion of the first year of Tara’s graduation she wanted a laptop so that she can complete her projects and assignments.

She told Dhruv that she wanted the latest model of laptop. Dhruv promised her that he would try to buy a laptop as soon as possible. Next week when Dhruv got his salary the first thing he did was to order the latest laptop model for her beloved Tara. He was just returning home after going to the shop.

                                But something had to happen before he could tell her sister that she was getting her wish fulfilled. As Dhruv was crossing the road a car came in full speed and BOOM!!! CRASH. It went in front of Dhruv and hit him. He laid there unconscious, his body dripped in blood. Tara was on her way to home when she got a phone call from her brother’s mobile. But it was not the voice of Dhruv. A man had seen the accident and went to help Dhruv. He had got his phone and called Tara’s number. He told her that the owner of this phone had met with an accident. He has already informed the ambulance. And that she should reach the city hospital right away. The phone call was a shock for her. She was thoughtless for a while. But soon was driving her Activa at full speed to reach the hospital as soon as she can.

                                By the time she reached the hospital, Dhruv was shifted in the emergency ward and the doctors had started the treatment. She thanked the person who called her and brought her brother to the hospital. The receptionist had told her to pay the fees. She didn’t know how she was going to pay the fees for her brother’s treatment as she had no money at that time. Then she remembered that her brother had saved some money for emergency situations. She quickly went home, opened the almirah and took out the money she needed. She rushed to the hospital and paid the fees at the reception. She got the news there that Dhruv was conscious and that she can meet him then. She went in the room and was happy to see Dhruv. She sat beside him. He told her that he was going to give her a surprise.

He said,

“Tara, you told me that you needed a laptop to complete your assignments. I had gone today to order a new laptop for you. I hope at least this time I would be able to make you happy.”

On this Tara started crying. She sobbingly said, “Bhaiya, I was wrong. Every time you did something good for me I always used to find some fault in it. I never tried to understand the efforts you made for me to be happy. Today for a moment when I thought I was going to lose you. I realized that all these years what I was wanting was just you. I never wanted anything else but you. Please promise me, you will never leave me alone.” And she started crying. Dhruv tried to soothe her and said, “Tara, stop crying. I promise we’ll always be together. Soon I’ll be perfectly fine and again will start with my work to give my sister the lavish…….”

                                Tara, interfering her brother in between, said “No bhaiya. You have already done too much for this demanding sister of yours. Now it’s my turn to give you all the things that you wanted to have but were not able to get because of my demands. I’ll now give you all the things that you ever wished of.”

                                After a week’s rest, Dhruv was discharged from the hospital. He went home and was surprised to see his home well decorated for his welcome. He was amazed to see that Tara had brought him his most favourite wrist watch. She hugged him and told him that she had got a part time job and that now he didn’t need to worry about the need of money for the household things. Now his sister has grown enough to take care of her brother and her house as well.

                                After that everything became easygoing. Dhruv started with his job once again. Tara was doing well in her studies and her performance in her job was also excellent. They had owned a little house. And as all the stories have, this one also had a HAPPY ENDING!!

March 25, 2016
Letters – Part 2

Letter Number 1 – September 2015

Dear Ryder,

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,

I am writing a letter to you!

Read Letters – Part 1

Okay, this is not exactly the right way to start a letter, but I couldn’t think of anything interesting to start it with and hence this. You must be wondering who in their right mind would waste their time in writing letters to you in the age of emails and texts, right?

Well you see I have been going through really tough times and my therapist told me that I should try something new to get better. He told me to choose a friend, someone I trust very much. After that he wanted me to write letters to that friend. But the problem is that I have friends but they aren’t exactly real friends. Just some people I spend my day with and talk to when needed. I don’t necessarily trust them.

In fact, I don’t think I trust anyone except my parents. I have issues, as you may have understood already and due to those issues I don’t trust easily. So I was at a loss. I didn’t trust any friend. Writing letters about my pains and sorrows to any of them would be a big NO! And I can’t possibly write a letter to my parents because they already know my problems and are trying their best to help me.

At this moment you must be scratching the back of your head wondering where you fit into all of this.

Ryder’s eyes widened when he realised he was doing just that. He paused and looked around the room. Was this person watching him? He sprung up from the bed and checked around his room for any hidden cameras. When he found none, he just shook his head and sat back on the bed and went back to reading the letter.

And at this moment you must be looking for hidden cameras in your room, right? Ryder was surprised but he didn’t stop reading.

Don’t worry! There are no cameras. I promise. I’m no stalker. I’m your letter friend. I know all this because I’ve been observing you for many months now and I know all your peculiar habits by heart! Crazy right? I watched you every day and learnt things bit by bit.

I actually took a whole month to observe you and learn about what you do, where you go and where you live. Well, I already knew where you live. I just wanted to confirm it once again.

Okay, maybe that was a bit stalker-ish, but what could I do, I had to know the person I would write the letters to.

So after that whole month of snooping about I decided to start writing the letters once final year of school commenced. It was the perfect plan. One letter every month and by graduation, you would know who I am. I had initially decided to post the letters right after I wrote them, but I changed my mind. I decided to give them to you only when I had written all of them. I couldn’t have you looking for me before I finished. That would just destroy the whole process of me getting better.

You see, every time I will write to you, I will become a wee bit stronger, a wee bit braver and a wee bit better. So ten letters Ryder. These ten letters will contain one confession about me and one problem I face and you will help me get through each one of them, even if you don’t know about it yet. I hope you will stay by my side.

I’ll tell you everything. I’ll answer every question you now have in your head, But one letter at a time.

So that when you finally read it, you’ll know that you were my anchor.

You already know my first problem, which is, I can’t trust easily.

And the confession number one is

I am a girl Ryder, and I go to your School.

Have a great month.

With love,

Letter Friend

And at the end of the letter was a photograph. It was of Ryder getting out of his car in the school parking lot, and it looked as if someone had taken the photo of the parking lot from inside the school building.

March 25, 2016
Souls connected

This story shows that even a non living thing can connect to someone's soul in such a way that it matters for even one's life and death. This illustrates the connection that has tied from the birth of two souls and which ends with their death together.

       We always think of trees as lifeline for all the living things in this world. But a tree can become someone’s life. Interesting, isn’t it? There was one such body whose soul was a sapling that grew as the soul was raised.

       Long ago, lived a couple, longing for a little one to complete their family. After a prolonged wait, their prayers were answered. The family was given a pretty little boy by the Almighty. His deep blue eyes, like the oceans within. His chubby cheeks, red like a tomato.

His curly brown hair. His tiny hands and legs, delicate like the petals of a flower. His beauty was beyond describing through words.

The family was pleased to be gifted by such an angel. They thought that this beautiful creature was the reward of their wait. They named this charming boy, VANSH.

       Along with the happiness of the arrival of this new member in the family, the couple didn’t forget what they had promised to each other. At the time of their wedding they had promised each other that at the time when their baby would come in this world, they would plant a sapling in the backyard of their house as a token of love for their baby. So, they decided to plant a mango tree. The tree was planted in the centre of the backyard.

       Then started the journey of VANSH and the tree.

Both grew together. There was an amazing connection between them. It looked as their souls were connected. When baby VANSH was happy the sapling VANSH looked hale and hearty. But when VANSH was sick, the sapling seemed to be ailing. This bond sometimes surprised the couple, but they then realised that this relation would last lifelong and as long as the tree is safe, we don’t need to worry about VANSH.

       The life started its actual stages. Soon VANSH was sent to school. He would come to the mango sapling as soon as he came back from the school. He shared each and every thing he did the whole day to the plant. And the plant also, as he understood everything what VANSH told him, shook its little branches. VANSH used to play around the sapling whole day. He started to see the plant as his best friend, rather as a brother. Sometimes he even ate sitting near this plant.

This bond grew stronger and stronger as both grew up. It seemed as both passed from the stage of life together. The plant soon turned into a tree. The tree began to yield mangoes. And these mangoes were very sweet and perfectly ripened too. VANSH everyday took a mango and ate. And always found one ripened mango on the lower branch. It seemed that the tree always saved one mango for VANSH.

       Now VANSH was in 10th grade. When the board exams were approaching, VANSH became nervous. And the only place he could find answers was in the shade of the tree. He sat in the shade of the leaves of this tree and he felt like all his problems were solved. There was some magic in the lap of this tree for VANSH. He used to sit under the tree and study.

Sometimes he took a nap here too. And when the results were announced, VANSH went straight to the tree and gave it a tight hug. He thanked him for the magic that helped him to answer his exams. Surprisingly the tree dropped a fresh ripened mango. VANSH took it as a gift of his good result and ate it going inside the house.

       Now time flew as wind. VANSH grew from a boy into an adult. Time came of his marriage. He wanted that the tree, his best friend right from the childhood, would remain present on his big day.

So he decided that his wedding ceremony will take place in the backyard where his beloved tree lived. After the marriage VANSH told his wife about his connection with the tree.

He told her that this was no ordinary tree. This tree was a witness of his happiness and sorrows. They both grew together. His wife too became affectionate towards this mango tree. She used to water its roots and clean up its surroundings, just like VANSH used to do. After some years, God gifted VANSH with cute twin boys.

They were as beautiful and charming as VANSH was when he was young. He remembered his days of childhood, when he saw them playing. He memorized how he used to fooling around that little mango plant. Now he missed those days as he was no more young and neither was the mango plant still a plant. Now he didn’t get much time to spend with the mango tree. But still somewhere in the bottom of his heart there was a special place for it. Whenever he got upset about something that was going on in his life, he just sat under the mango tree, just like old times, and took a breath of satisfaction.

       Now both VANSH and that mango tree grew old. VANSH’s children were now handling the work and VANSH had nothing to do except finding ways to utilize his free time. Every time he thought of nothing but to sit with his best friend the mango tree and tell him about all the things going on in his and his children’s life. Unfortunately, VANSH’s children were not so fond of the tree. They thought that this huge mango tree was occupying extra space in their backyard and that they didn’t need it any longer. VANSH tried to explain them that this tree was no ordinary one. His memories were associated with it. He had lived his life with it. Their happiness and grieves were no different. He could not live without this tree.

His soul lied within this tree. But his children were not capable of understanding their father’s feelings.

They couldn’t even think how deep his connection with this tree was. They decided to cut it as soon as possible. He couldn’t tolerate the fact that his beloved friend was going to be cut down. This made VANSH very gloomy. His health was getting poor and poor. Still, his children couldn’t understand that their decision would take not only one but two lives to their creator.

       Then after a week, VANSH’s younger son came up bringing an axe from the market. He and his brother started to cut down that tree, branch after branch. As the tree’s branches reduced, VANSH’s spirit also began to leave his body. And when the last branch of the tree left its trunk, VANSH’s soul took leave from his body.

And so the souls who started their journey in this world together, departed from this world together and the connected souls left this world giving it a beautiful message of friendship.

March 23, 2016
APOLOGIES….FROM, THE PYTHON

It's a story about how we take love for granted to such an extent that we often strangle and devour it.

She was beautiful. I was undeservingly geeky.

But, somehow, I was also lucky. I was lucky enough to fall in love with her and also to have her fall in love with me. My past bad relationships and all my vices had never taken a toll on her love for me. Not even to the day we broke up. Oh! Yes, she'd been pushed to the limit and we finally broke up.

But, what I relate to you today is the story of how luck really blessed and forgave me. Take it as a warning. Perhaps, unfortunately, there are more out there like me and we all need to see what's going on and what we've become sooner than we lose all that we have, and luck won’t be gracious to everyone, I believe.

If I were to briefly tell you about our days together- It was perfect; it was beautiful. I had the perfect relationship and the best girl. And sometimes I wondered if I was happy only because she had a pretty face…Trust me, it never was the answer. The real answer to why I was happy was the docile, calm, patient, and beautiful heart that she had.

The heart that like a sponge had soaked my negativity, insecurities, rage and always replaced it with optimism, levelheadedness and a blissful calmness. She filled colours into my life- colours I wasn't used to and colours I had exploited. Soon, my stomach stretched like an elastic bag and it was enough to engulf not only all her love but herself.

So, pretty soon, that’s what I set about doing. I was never satisfied with what she gave me. I always sought more pushing my luck and her limits to the extreme. And one day, her smiles were replaced by frowns. And finally, I broke it off. For, she wasn’t what we started off as, anymore. Or, was I not what we started off as, anymore?

A week after the breakup as I sat in front of my Mac, I fidgeted about on google looking for ways to get her back. Yes, I had become desperate for her now.

There was something missing from my life.

For, now here was no one to tolerate my tantrums and put up with me. So, while I was idling away on the internet, I saw something that caught my mind.

It was the story of a woman who had a python for a pet. Quite interestingly, her pet python had stopped responding to her affection and had stopped eating his meals, and was trying to be physically close to her- coiling around her and trying to seek something that she couldn't quite give it.

This left her very guilty and frustrated and pushed to the limits. When the vet was consulted, the vet shocked her out of her wits. It so turned out that the python was preparing to eat her. Of course, she was shocked- filled with a paralytic sense of betrayal and horror. She got rid of her pet as soon as she could.

Yes, then. Precisely then I realized what I had become and what I had done.

No, I don't denounce the reptile here. He did what he is designed for. Of course, he isn't deaf to the language of love but, quite possibly, his language is different from the human language. So, I personally feel it is wrong to denounce him. However, it isn't wrong to denounce me.

Finally, I saw what I had been doing to my girl for half a decade now. I had been her pet python. Only, I was devouring her emotionally. I was wringing her dry of love. All the time… All along, she had just been my prey. Of course the realisation knocked the air out of me.

But, there wasn't much I could do about it. It was perhaps too late. Maybe, now if she saw me, she'd have realised what I had been doing to her. Surprisingly, I wasn't even sure if I was an unintentional or simply a sadistic human python. But, however it may be, it was wrong.

We are humans. We don't have to resort to the reptile's ways of love. We speak human words. We break down in human arms. We reside in human hearts. It's alright if she has a life of her own.

For, she's as human as me. In fact, why should she not have her own stuff to do? Her own tastes and dislikes? Why does she have to stick to me all the time? I'm not mapping her surface area to devour her. She's my love… Not my prey. Moreover, since when did love become unsatisfactory?

Of course, even humans have different ways to love, but, I refuse to believe that there is a single heart that can't recognize any way of humane love. How can we- We who recognize the mutest creatures- how can we fail something as blissful a blessing as love no matter in what guise we get it? Surely, everything is fair in love. But, how far do we go about hiding behind Tolstoy's innocent philosophy and camouflage our undeniable sadism? How long will they stand by us? Why should they? How are our deeds pardonable?

My new realisation gave me a new meaning wrapped in shame and guilt. I would often pick up my phone and type her number or a lengthy message, but, somehow, my heart would scorn me for being unbelievably shameless and not leaving her alone despite knowing that it was what she needed. When one day, my phone beeped with her name.

You can anticipate my excitement correctly or a little less perhaps. And though the influx of her messages continued, I controlled my strongest urges to do something – the only thing, I knew to prove my sincerest love for her- and protected her from me. One day, even her messages stopped. I was happy for her redemption and sad that she had to go through it. Well, for myself? Who doesn’t pity and hate himself at times like these?

Thus, between missing her and scolding myself, a year of our lives rolled on and I had no idea where my better half was- only if she still was so by any golden fortune. However, it maybe, I was miserable.

It was a year later when I saw her again.

I had just bought a new home and was still looking for the furnishings. I was choosing from an array of curtains draped in one section of the large store. There was one particular silken one that caught my eye. It was emerald with patches and stringy lines of dark green all over it. "That's my taste, you know." It felt like a dream. Surely, it was a dream!
How? How was it possible? In the second that passed since she uttered her last syllable to when I whirled around, my heart was overjoyed and overwhelmed knowing that I was finally forgiven. In that infinite moment, I was grateful to many – herself and an infiniteness of the Universe being two of them.

There she stood, wearing purple- a colour I always complimented on her.
"Hi", I managed.
"That's my choice, you know.” she repeated, pointing a beautiful hand at the curtain now flipped over in my hand.
"Oh yeah. It's beautiful. I liked it." I heard my voice.
But, there was so much more that I had to tell her. So many things more important than this curtain,yet, this seemed an equally important reason to hear that familiar,soothing, homely voice.

"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"
"Became better this very instant"

She eyed me curiously. "Since when did you become so cheesy,Aryan?"
I shrugged. "Coffee?"

She nodded. In the next instant, we were headed to the café downstairs. Everything was happening so smoothly and quickly today. I pulled the chair for her. She was surprised and rightly. I had never treated her like the queen she was. I had always taken her for granted; never been the gentleman she deserved. But, now I would show how she deserved to be loved.

She ordered her usual Cappuccino and I had my Latté. Sometime while she was holding her cup in both hands, her eyes opened up to depths that only I could fathom. For, I was the only one who had swam in them- considering I had no successors.

" You didn't miss me", it was a sad statement. My heart broke. If only I could tell her how wrong she was. But, I knew no way.

" You didn't text. You didn't call. You didn't respond to my texts either. " she stated facts that sounded so much like accusations. "You were happy far away from me. I tried to love you as best as I could but it wasn't enough. You did nothing to wi- take- me back…"

"Hey! Stop. Right there. You have no idea how I missed you. You can't even guess what it took to ignore you like that! You just don't understand!"

"I don't understand! What? That you are over a college infatuation you thought was love? Oh God! Why did I stop you today? It was over a year back! What was I expecting?"

We were hissing by now. Soon, she gestured to ask for the bill. By the time I placed a note in the black pocket, she was already standing. Before I could stop her,she was stomping out of the café. But, it was high time I stopped suffocating her and killed my guilt.
My throat went dry. Something in me told me that if I didn’t stop her now, there will be no chance encounters that would open up to chances like this one. Something within forgave me and finally allowed me to let go of what I had been to embrace what I should be – for her first and then for myself. In front of the café, I knelt down. She was already a couple of feet ahead when I called out her name. She whirled around with an indignant "what?"

" I have been the worst guy to love. All this year, I was craving a second chance but I knew how undeserving and brutal I had been. That’s why I couldn’t even think of asking forgiveness of you. But, there’s something I have to ask you…."
she had walked upto me now,evidently undecided.

" It was never just infatuation. I have grown in and after the relationship. It breaks my heart that it is over. But, I guess, good things must end for better things to replace them. I know, this isn’t the time or the place that a picture perfect proposal deserves, but, will you pick out furnishings for our house and make it our happy home? Will you…marry me?"

The rest is my happy ending to live and cherish. But, you are to live and learn your lesson. You might not be as lucky as me. You shouldn’t be as lucky as me. I know, I am not supposed so lucky either and so I am ever careful of having to live without her. Only, this time, she isn’t my sponge for all my mess… She is my life. So, don't try to be something that you aren't meant to be. Don't strangle and eat up the love that gives you wings and colours. Don't burn your own house down. You never know, it might not-in fact, it shouldn't- rise from the ashes again.

Don't be a python to the love that you receive from anyone whosoever it may be. Be the safest haven and the sweetest heaven. Be a sweet dream come true. Please be lines of smiles on their wrinkly skin and not frowns when they are but minds filled with memories- be the large magnitude of happy memories. Build a togetherness that's their castle to reside in.

Please, don't eat their love … Please, oh! Please, just love them.

March 22, 2016
In the Womb

Its about a girl in the womb who describes her feelings when she is aborted.

I am colour of walls in my home, I am the aroma of food prepared at my home, I am the trumpet that keeps playing all the time in festive occasions and I am the daughter of this house who makes it a home.

Today is very special day of my life; everyone in my family is very happy. Each corner of my house is full with people enjoying their food and drink. I am very nicely dressed with jewellery and dress of my choice and a very special chunni that my grad mom gave me which she made herself. I am so in love with this smile that is present on face of mom when she is welcoming people.

My younger brother is sitting right next to me and he is cuddling me whenever he gets an opportunity. He doesn’t want me to go indeed he is arguing to come with me. Such an innocent kid, so much in love with his sister.

Awwwww I wish I could take him with me. My college friends are about to come and I am already blushing with the thought of the things they gone talk to me. Does this happen with every girl or it’s just me who is felling such thing when she is about to get married.

Apparently I see the courtyard of my house where I see the young me crawling around, throwing stuff,” look I stood up on my feet”, “today my teacher scolded me for not cutting my nails”, “dadi tell me what happened to ganesha after that”, “mom where are you my friends are about to come today is my birthday everything should be perfect”, “dad see I learned bharatnatyam”, “He is only my younger bro”, “ssshhhhhh I can’t speak loudly everyone is sleeping”, “mom I don’t think I can ever learn how to cook”…………..aaahhhh, all these pictures started coming in my mind. I see myself growing up in front of my eye.

I love my family a lot. I care about them; I never thought that one day I have to leave this house although since the day I got my senses I have been told that you are not ours, you have to leave but still I thought this is my family. Now all of a sudden it has become very difficult for me and for my family to separate.

But I don’t think my family is that sad, because they separated me from themselves the day they came to know that I was in womb of my mom. Yes, I am not born yet. I so wanted to come to this world as my younger brother did. I wanted to grow old in the courtyard I talked about. I wanted to marry someone.

I also wanted to become the reason behind smile of my mom, reason for my dad to be proud of. I also wanted to cuddle my dadi. Did I ask for too much? I promise I would have given something in return if you let me do that. And I promise you will be attached to me and the day I’ll leave your home you would not want me to go. Then what happened today how you can let go me like this.

Mom I know u keep thing away that may scare me so why don’t you tell these people to keep away the light which is scaring me when I have not even opened my eyes. Dad I know when I’ll come to this world you’ll protect me from all the pain, then what happened to you now. Can’t you see how much pain I am in.

Doctors are using knife on me, dad they are scooping me out, please save me dad I am your princess. People over here say it was your decision dadi but I dint believe them I know I am your eye candy and you can’t do this to me. I know you love me more then banty because of our cool granny daughter’s talk. So why don’t you stop them, I want to come to our home and were the sweater you knitted for me.

I don’t know who is stopping me to come to this world. If you people figure it out then please let me know I would make him understand how much my family loves me and how much they want me to be with them.

P.S. Your daughter (From womb)

March 21, 2016
Can Love be Arranged!

Love, they say is the sweetest thing that can ever happen to someone. But in this cold world, where emotions have turned raw, ugly and brutal; expecting the other person to devotedly be yours for a time span of forever is merely a way to make one feel tormented. Relationships before marriages, love before getting arranged, for most of the cases, are just illusive dreams- dreams of completeness which still remains a luxurious idea for couples who have no belief in the practicality of life.
Thinking about love, at a mature stage, everyone wants someone who would remain; sustain for them, with them for as long as they can. It is absolutely a true fact that love cannot be forced, but then who said it cannot be tried for. Love being arranged is not a tested accomplishment for everyone around, but it surely is bliss if someone gives in their efforts genuinely.
Yes! Love can be arranged. It shouldn’t be looked upon in a disdain vision. Preposterous it is for a person to make a decision about life without even touching the practical aspects of life.

Mishika , come out", Rahul was shouting at the top of his voice.

Mishika ran up to the balcony and saw his black car park outside.
'He has never done this before ', Mishika thought.

"Yaar I'm calling you for so long. Yaar kitna wait karwati ho", he made a fake angry face.
She stood all confused and gave him a complementary look.
"Ohhoo.. will you keep on staring me like this or will say something more? Get ready we have to leave in ten minutes.", he pleaded softly.

"But, rahul where are we going?"
"Are, get ready. And please don't wear suit or saree go for jeans or one – piece or whatever you feel like"
"Rahul? "

Rahul kept his fingers on her lips and managed to tell her to go and change with the action of his eyes.

"You get ready tab tak main mummy -papa se tumhe le jaane ki permission leta hun"

"Okay"

Mishika was going insane, but she tried to look perfect. As perfect for him as a moon.
She applied a tint of dark kohl, a perfect eyeliner and pink lip gloss.
She untied her hair, and straightened them.
And wore a floral long skirt and a crop top and a net ankle length midi over it. She got heels and diamond studs.
She appeared to be a princess.

'*Is something special today? Am i forgetting something? He asked me to wear these clothes. Seriously? What is the matter? Where are we going? *' her head was spinning a wheel.

"Ready Mishi?", rahul asked.
"Coming"

She descended the stairs and rahul was speechless.

Mishika broke the very comfortable silence, "but where are we going ?"
"A land of no one", he laughed hysterically.
"Okay", she was wondering if he was drunk or something.

"I'm not drunk miss mishika."
She stared in horror with the disbelief that she didn't say this loud enough to even let the nearby gush of air listen it.

He opened the door and made her sit inside.
As she sat she found a box kept on back seat.

They drove in silence for half an hour and they were out of the city.

Rahul and Mishika were engaged for 6 months and their wedding was planned for next year. Their parents arranged it once the proposal came.
They talked casually but they didn't get close.

"Do you like me even?" , Rahul asked Mishika in serious tone.
"What kind of question is this", she replied.

What she did made rahul love her more.

Instead of giving the answer to his question she held his hand and kept her head on his shoulder. He was overwhelmed with her gesture.
They drove for another 15 minutes and he stopped the car.
She looked around it was a dead end road and she couldn't see anything. He got out and opened the gate of car for her. She came out and he held her hand. They walked in unison and sat at the edge of hill. They both looked in each others eyes. They were filled with love and serenity.

"Tring tring", Rahul's phone buzzed.
"Haan bol"
"Hmm"
"2"

And he disconnected. Mishika was mesmerized but still not getting.

And then he closed her eyes and whispered in her ear, "I LOVE YOU".

When she opened her eyes, all she could see was fireworks. Her favourite kind of fireworks. The smile on her face broadened and she smiled back at him and with tears in her eyes she said an ♡I LOVE YOU TOO ♡.

He asked her to wait there and he would be coming in seconds.
It was ten minutes and he didn't come back. She got tensed but then she heard the foot steps. He came back with that box, a cloth and pepsi.

She helped with the cloth and they both sat in silence. He took out the candle from his pocket and lit it.
Then he opened up the box. It had a chocolate cake. He opened the bottle cap and poured the cold drink in their glasses…

*She had seen this cake earlier. But where?*

"What is special today? It isn't mine or your birthday. It isn't our anniversary. What is today?" She asked curiously.

"Okay. So you'll not spare me with this question. It is our anniversary today. Third year anniversary." He smiled.

"Please na rahul tell me."

"I'm serious."

"Okay rahul enough of mocking. I want to know right away"

"I promised i won't lie to you"

"Huh?"

"Okay. Three years ago on this day i saw you first. You were in blue shirt and denim jeans. You gave every child a treat. I heard you saying, " yaar mere pass bht kuch hai, unke paas nhi.I can afford and I'll make them eat whatever they want"
I fell in love with you that day. I stalked you, I find your number but didn't dare to call. I was three years elder and that is why I wanted to become something for you. I just kept on staring at your profile pictures. I couldn't gather the courage to send you a request but saw all the public posts.
This was the same cake you posted with the caption, "somebody get me this. It is yummmmy."

I wanted to hear that yummy from you. You posted the pictures of random fireworks with the caption, "dream date".

I wanted to fulfil all our dreams together.

He stood up and brought one orange rose, "Will you be my partner in crime Mishika?"
"Yes. Forever and ever"

They kissed under the moon and sparkling fireworks.

It was their arranged-cum-love marriage.

March 18, 2016
Blue – Part 2

You never know when the love bug might get to you.

Blue.
A sparkling greenish blue. Just like the ocean.

That was the only thing that my mind registered.

Have you ever wondered how it would be like to actually feel those things that the romance novelists write about? I had always hoped for those special moments to happen to me -the fluttering of the heart or staring off into space for hours, daydreaming, or maybe blushing at the mere mention of the special person's name.

As I sat there, seemingly lost in the eyes of the stranger before me, I swear, my heart picked up its pace. I'm pretty sure I looked like an utter creep, but I couldn't help it. After about two minutes of staring, my brain finally decided to start functioning again which brought me to the conclusion that now would be a good time to look away as I had already embarrassed myself enough. But things never happen the way I want them to because just when I was ready to turn away, something happened.

The boy smiled. At me.

And it was beautiful, his smile. My heart just about stopped beating When he smiled, his eyes lit up. That was something which I never wanted to look away from.

His face held an amused expression which I realised then, was a result of me staring at him like an idiot. I snapped my head down. If I looked into the mirror right now I would probably be resembling a tomato.

My heart kicked into overdrive and I quickly started gathering my things, getting ready to flee. I wanted to look at the boy but I was terrified of what I would see. I'm absolutely positive that he was laughing at me.

I risked a glance at him. He was still looking at me, smile in place and it seemed like he was going to say something to me. But before he could open his mouth I jumped up from my chair grabbed my bag and almost flew out of the cafe. I was so certain that the boy would follow me out that I broke into a sprint and never once looked back. I ran all the way to my apartment which was a good ten minutes away.

By the time I got home, I was huffing, puffing and all red in the face because let's face it, I'm not fit, at all. Rather I was just the opposite, the laziest person on earth. I burst in through the door, ran up to my room, flung my bag at a random corner and landed face first onto my bed.

I couldn't believe it. For the first time in my life a boy had looked at me, a good looking boy might I add, for more than 10 seconds. But what had I done? Instead of behaving normally, I had gone ahead and made a complete fool of myself. I wanted to repeatedly bang my head against a wall until it would fall off. I groaned and rolled over to my side. Why could I never behave like a sane person? God knows what blue-eyed boy was thinking. He sure had a good laugh today.

I had to tell Lillian. I needed to calm down. I took out my cellphone from my pocket and dialled her number. But then decided against it and pressed the end call button. Telling her over the phone wouldn't work. I would tell her tomorrow, face-to-face, when we meet at the University.

My phone made a pinging noise. It was a reminder I had set about an essay that needed to be submitted tomorrow. The side effect of being an English Literature major was that I had to write a lot of essays. This one was on Chaucer. Pushing any thought of the blue-eyed boy to the back of my mind I got ready to do my assignment. I spent most of my time after that to finish my assignment with an exception of a short dinner in the middle. But during that entire period, my mind kept drifting back to the blue-eyed boy and I wondered if I would ever see him again. I wish I knew what his name was.

Finally I fell asleep at my study table, exhausted, with my head on my arms and with the image of those beautiful blue eyes in my mind.

March 16, 2016
Blue – Part 1

We never know when the love bug might get to you.

I hated rains. They always managed to give me a headache. My boots created a splashing sound as I ran, dodging people who were either in a hurry to get back to work after lunch hour or were just running around looking for a shelter from the rain. The strap of my bag clutched tightly, I quickened my pace, not wanting to be late.

My boots squeaked as it hit the pavement in front of my favourite cafe, Aroma. This place was my escape. My escape from the real world filled with stress and anxiety.

I pushed open the door and the bell above it created a sharp jingling sound. As I stepped in I surveyed the inside of the cafe. As usual, there were not many people inside because it was just 4:30pm. It started filling up somewhere around 6pm. I hung my wet umbrella on the rack beside the door and proceeded to the counter to order.

Sarah gave me a big smile and said

"The usual, Sierra?"

I returned her smile shyly and nodded my head. She went ahead to prepare my mocha latte as I stood and looked around. On my right, an old man sat drinking a cup of tea. He was deep in thought and seemed to be in another world entirely. Two tables away from him sat a young couple talking and laughing in hushed voices. Just then Sarah came back with my latte and a slice of red-velvet cake and I turned back to her.

Sarah was a wonderful person, always cheerful and had a bubbly personality. I had been coming to this shop almost every day for a year now and in that time span I had learnt that Sarah was also extremely helpful. She was in her final year of college and aspired to be a fashion designer. This was her aunt's coffee shop and therefore she helped her aunt by working here. She was extremely passionate about her dreams and from the few designs I had seen, she was absolutely fabulous at it.

I put the money on the counter, grabbed my food and turned around to go to my usual seat. It was right beside the window and was usually secluded as it was almost at the end of the shop. There was just one more table behind my seat.

I dropped my bag on the ground and plonked onto the seat, placing my tray on the table. Then I took my laptop out and placed it beside the tray. Once I was comfortable, I switched the laptop on, getting ready to let my thoughts fly. I loved writing, whether short stories or poems or even random thoughts. I loved putting them together. It calmed me and took me to a world of my own. I wrote romances mostly because, yes you've guessed correctly, I'm a hopeless romantic.

But sadly I've never experienced love even though I'm already twenty and in college. This is natural when you are socially awkward and have almost no friends.

My best friend Lillian Reynolds is the only friend I have and she's more like a sister to me. We had grown up together. She was my neighbor. We even came to the same college though we have different subjects. She was the only one besides my family before whom I did not stutter. The side effect of being shy was that I would get tongue tied in front of new people, which would lead to a lot of embarrassing stuttering. Boys were a big ‘no no’ for me.

Nobody looked my way twice and I'm sure nobody would want a girl who wasn't able to string together a sentence without stuttering and pausing a million times. The only boy I've ever interacted with is my father and sometimes my cousin brothers. But Lillian would always keep telling me to not lose hope. But I was sure of one thing, which was, that I Sierra Marianne Williams would not be meeting my soulmate anytime soon.

To escape this hopelessness I entered the fantasy world of stories where I would meet the man of my dreams, my boyfriend or maybe husband. My fingers flew over the keyboard at an alarming speed as I created yet another story about the girl I could have been. My red-velvet cake and latte were finished in no time and by the time the clock struck six thirty I was on my third latte.

It was almost time for me to leave. I ran a hand through my dull brown hair and rested my hands on the table to rest my aching fingers. I looked around the cafe only to realise that it had become quite crowded. There were just two or three tables left empty.

I sighed and started packing. I saved the word document, shut my laptop and put it in my bag.

When I turned back around to reach for my coffee to finish it, I noticed a boy, about my age, sitting on the table right in front of mine. He was seated facing me and so I could see his face clearly. He was frowning and scribbling intensely into what I assume was his diary. His dark brown mop of hair fell onto his forehead. Even though I could just see half his face, I could still understand that he was good looking. His pen moved almost in a blur as if he was trying to pen down his thoughts before they disappeared.

Suddenly my mind registered the fact that if he caught me staring at him like this he would definitely think that I was creepy and weird. But my decision to look away was a tad bit too slow because in the next moment he looked up, straight into my eyes and I found myself looking into the most mesmerizing pair of blue eyes that I've ever seen. Call it sixth sense or anything else but at that moment I was absolutely sure that I would never forget those eyes.

Somewhere in those few seconds of staring into his eyes I had already started falling for him.

March 15, 2016
Chasing Dreams

As we grow up, we are expected to set out minds on something and plan to achieve that goal. However, the matter of the heart is not to be so easily persuaded. You may have followed your mind to where you think you need to be, but your heart will always want what it wants.

I ran my hands along the smooth fabric of the curtains and straightened them out one last time. I scanned the couch and chairs to check if the cushions were all in place. I went over to the appetizers spread and the made sure the vegetarian and the non-vegetarian snacks were properly separated. The drinks glasses were spotless, the decorative lights were working fine and they were all switched on. I took a deep breath and turned on the light music.

Anita, my wife, as always made sure all the guests were greeted properly at the door and all their coats were hanged neatly. My son, Yash, was delighted to see some of his friends and didn’t waste any time to go and start playing their favourite multi-players computer games. I made sure everyone who walked in had their preferred drink in hand. The two maids were offering everyone snacks with a smile on their faces. Everyone was all compliments about the house they just stepped in.

So it was finally happening – my dream apartment and my dream family. And I am celebrating it with all my friends. This, right here, is everything that I ever worked for.

Anyone who knows me says I’m living my dream.

And I am very proud of it.

I was going to each and every guest, asking them about their lives, making sure they’re comfortable and having a good time. I was repeating the same answers about my life to 20 different people and then some more. They were complimenting how beautiful my new apartment is, what a wonderful person Anita is, what a bright kid my son is, and how hard I worked for my last promotion and how much I deserved it. My heart swelled with happiness and pride.

Everything was going the smooth and exactly how it was supposed to, till one particular person walked in through the door with a bottle of wine and an extremely familiar smile. A smile that I had never expected to see even when I sent the invitation email after a lot of hesitation. I saw my wife point me out to that guest and she turned to me with the smile and the feeling of nostalgia drowned me.

I completely forgot about the guests I was talking to and immediately walked over to Parvati, one of my best friends in college. She was still the small tomboy, who has now grown her hair out to her shoulders and was wearing a grungy hipster looking dress. We hugged each other and let out a huge sigh as we realised that we were both thinking of the same person at that exact moment. The third Musketeer in our tiny group – Akash.

‘You made it!’ I exclaimed, because I honestly thought she won’t.

‘I happened to be in town for a few days, so how could I not?’ She still has the same boyish tone in her voice. Gosh, I missed her!

‘It’s been too long,’ I handed her a glass of champagne and raised my own glass. ‘Here’s to a tiny unexpected reunion.’

‘Like Akash would say, “Keep the booze and the happiness coming!”’ We both drank to the good old times as painful memory kept tugging at the back of our minds.

I gave her a tour of the apartment and walked out into the balcony. The view of a nearby golf course and a few lakes here and there was truly amazing from the 11^th floor.

She told me about her boutique, her various lines of clothing and how things have been looking pretty good. She never married, like she had predicted back in college and is living with her current boyfriend who is out of station for a business tour. The air of depression and despair that I had seen around her the last we saw each other was completely gone. As she was looking over at the view and laughing heartily, I was reminded of the impossible storm that we both had to fight through. I could not express in words how happy I felt to see her like this right now.

We talked about all the quirky memories we had of college, starting from each and every student we could remember the name and face of, the canteen food, the professors, the cleaning staff, the security guards, the college events, excursions and trips, exams, study groups, everything!

I was missing Akash so much that I wanted to talk about him. We talked about Akash as we were recalling our hilarious times in college, but we skipped talking about the actual thing – the one big event that changed all our lives. I couldn’t understand whether I should say anything or not.

‘You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?’ Parvati asked after noticing the long silence as I was looking down at my glass for quite a few seconds. I looked up at her.

‘I know,’ she said ‘I am too.’

‘I still miss him,’ I admitted.

‘You think I don’t?’ she said, taking a long sip from her glass. ‘That asshole didn’t keep any of the promises he made. He disappeared too soon, taking so many things with him.’

I reached out to hold her hand and we stood there like that for a few minutes, holding hands and staring ahead. I still remember hiding all of Parvati’s love letters for Akash in my text books. She used to write one every now and then for all the years, so that she could save them all and give him everything the day we pass out. Parvati never got the chance to tell Akash what she really felt for him. And now she never will.

‘I thought Tara had also disappeared, till I saw her yesterday.’

That name made me freeze my thoughts. Thousands of memories washed over me like a tsunami and my heart just stood there, taking the brunt of it all. I looked at Parvati and found myself unable to ask her anything more. I almost could not believe what she just said.

Parvati noticed my shocked expression and elaborated, ‘I did! She was shopping for some travel bags in Royal Star Mall and we ran into each other. She is still exactly the same, hasn’t changed a bit. She’s doing this freelance photography gig and she’s travelling everywhere! She looked good, happy. She is clearly living her dream.’

She paused to look at me for a while and then said, ‘She asked me about you too.’

‘Why does she even care anymore?’ I asked her and myself at the same time.

‘She never stopped, Kunal,’ Parvati said.

Those words made me feel like someone was squeezing my chest from the inside. As much as I had tried, it was still immensely hard to forget about her. As much I tried to convince myself that what I did was right for both of us, it still killed me. I had spent way too long imagining how different my life would have been if we were still together. Things started looking up when Anita stepped into my life and we wanted to start a life together.

I decided to never look back and I have been very successful at doing that.

Till now. Till right this moment.

‘It would have never worked, Parvati. You know that very well.’ I told her, trying to sound as convincing as I could.

‘Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?’ She was looking right into my eyes. I had to look away.

‘I have seen you with her for so many years, you idiot. I have also seen you without her, and trust me, you both fit. Not just as a romantic couple, but as people. Everyone knew what you two shared was impossible to find. You were not just some couple who were madly in love. It was a lot more than that. But then again, you already know that, don’t you?’

‘We were wild and reckless and impulsive,’ I recalled. ‘She was the crazy one who thought chasing impossible dreams was all she could do for the rest of her life. She had no idea what she wanted and she didn’t care either. That kind of shit only works till you have to actually have to get out of college and find out how to achieve what you really need. I have reached this point in my life after working my ass off. She will never be able to find what I have if her idea of living is uselessly jumping around from one place to another.’

‘It’s a good thing then,’ said Parvati, sounding perfectly calm and composed, ‘that she never needed anyone’s approval about how she lives her life. And to be honest, from what I can see, you still have no idea what you really want.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

We both decided to end that conversation right there.

The rest of the evening went as planned and everyone left in good spirits. When it was time for Parvati to leave, I wanted to see her off and hail her a cab. Just before getting in, she gave me this knowing look and shoved a piece of napkin in my pocket. Before I could figure out why she did that, the cab had already pulled away.

I took out the napkin to find a message written inside.

“21/A Herrington Road. She’s leaving tomorrow.”

She didn’t need to write me the name of the person who’s address that was. And I hated her for doing that. I wanted to throw away the napkin right then, but something made me tuck it back inside and walk back upstairs.

The next morning I got in the driver’s seat the exact same time that I always do and started the car.

Before I know it, I was there. I was standing right outside her building, my heart pounding like a mad man.

I checked her name and apartment number at the gate and ran up to the fourth floor. After fighting with myself for almost half an hour, I rang the doorbell.

There was absolutely no guarantee that she would answer. She might have had an early flight or something and already left. Maybe I was too late. Again.

But the door flung open. And it was her.

The big dark brown eyes, the huge mane of messed up curly black hair, the same pale skin, those full pink lips. She was exactly the same Tara I had fallen in love with the first day of college.

Her bright smile lighted up her face as she saw me standing there in front of her. That is what occupied my whole mind, I couldn’t think of anything else.

Neither of us was surprised to find each other on either side of this door. She looked at me the same way she always did when I used to come over to her room for our numerous study sessions which hardly ever included any studying.

She looked at me as if all the years that had gone by after college just disappeared. I was the only one who got older and seemed out of place in this whole situation right now, wearing this stupid suit with my hair and shoes all clean and proper. But who was I really kidding?

I’ve always loved messy. I’ve always loved Tara.

Right now, it seems like we are exactly back to where we had left off all those years ago. Tara broke the silence after a long time.

‘You missed me.’

‘Just like you said I would.’

March 4, 2016