Romeo and Juliet
Heer and Ranjha
Laila and Majnu
Radha and Krishna
We all have read their stories, loved their stories and lived their stories. Most of the times we have witnessed these love stories but were these things for real? They could sense each other’s pain, no doubt how apart they were. They never got married but still their love is the most divine one but what if it’s only one sided.
Would these stories have been still so famous if only Juliet could feel the pain and Romeo had no clue of it? If only Juliet was irrevocably in love with Romeo? What would we call that story then? A partial love story or we’ll stick with the general name “A one sided love story?”
What if you are the Juliet? What if the one you love doesn’t love you, would you be happy? Would you still be in love forever?
I knew a girl who was a Juliet of her own story; sorry who is The Juliet in real sense and this is her story.
It was a cold December night; she was standing in front of the mirror staring at her own reflection. She was talking to herself. “I need to stay awake and study.” She repeated 5 times looking in her eyes. She was determined in her thoughts.
Suddenly she started feeling nervous. Her body started sweating. She removed all her clothes, switched on the fan but nothing could stop the sweat. It felt as if her body was getting hot from inside up. She had no one around, her parents were sleeping.
How could she even explain it to anyone especially when she was wearing nothing? Tears started rolling down her cheeks, it was 2am, and what was she supposed to do? She didn’t have a single clue of what was happening to her. She took her cell phone and decided to call one of her gems. Damn she didn’t pick up. Next on the list was her another gem but what would she tell him?
She had no idea so she decided just to text him what exactly she was going through. With all her courage and hope she texted him “Hey sorry to bother you so late but I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sweating in such a cold night and I’m kind of feeling very nervous”
She waited for 5 minutes for his reply but she didn’t get any fruit for her patience. She started crying even louder just when her cell phone rang; composing herself she picked up the phone. It was him. With a low voice she spoke:
“Hey! What’s wrong sweetie? ”He enquired (worriedly)
“I really don’t know” she replied
“Have you gone mad or what? I took a drug just now that keeps the body warm and sweating is its first symptom but why are you feeling this way. I took it, there is no way that you could feel the same” he said it all in one breath.
She could sense a little worry in his voice as well. It was an unusual thing that happened.
Listening to his voice she froze for a minute. She didn’t know how to respond. This was the first time something like this had happened with her. She was just 17 and a girl full of ambition and dreams. She was too innocent to understand this feeling.
“Hey you here right?” he asked
“Yeah, I guess I should sleep” she replied
She cut the phone but kept looking at the screen. She still was confused with this unusual feeling. She kept on staring at the ceiling of her room. The stars were twinkling and shining. Her brain was continuously thinking the whole night about this incident. His every memory was flashing in her mind like a movie.
From the first time she saw him till their last talk.
It was first of January; she was waiting for her friend. It was her birthday. At the corner of the stairs there stood a boy wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. He was standing at a distance but all the girl’s eyes were on him. He was fair and tall and his hair was black as a ravens. You could see his bright eyes shine through his fair face.
It felt as if she knew him from a very long time. She knew what his name was, she knew everything about him but she had never met him before. Her friend had told her a lot about him and that’s how she didn’t even take a second to recognize him. She could read his eyes, she could read his face but all those things were never noticed until this night. All of a sudden in that second all the things that ever happened to her related to him started making sense.
She realized she could feel his pain. Somehow she felt deprived of her own existence. She felt as if her soul was not her own anymore. His face, his eyes were coming in front of her again and again. She couldn’t get rid of his vision. She felt cheated because her heart was not hers anymore. It had gone without even asking her .She always wanted to fall in love. But this feeling was annoying. Feeling his pain gave her happiness but at the same time it used to make her realize that he doesn’t love her. He would never love her. Why would he? He was her best friend’s boyfriend.
This isn’t right, her mind kept on saying. She had fallen for someone who would never ever fall for her. She had become the Juliet of her own story but with a Romeo who would never acknowledge her love. She was in love with the idea of love but his feeling; it was killing her from inside.
She thought if she would stay away from him it this feeling won’t haunt her and she would be back again.
She didn’t talk with him for days, ignored his calls, ignored his texts and even if by chance they would have a conference talk, she wouldn’t communicate with him.
Things were getting stabilized just then her left leg started paining a lot without any reason. She just sat on her bed and started rubbing it. Her cell’s screen flashed a new number and just to check who it was she picked up the call. It was him again. Before she could recognize and cut the call he told her that he was injured because a rod had just hurt this left leg.
“Why can’t you take care of yourself you dumb” she replied
“Look who’s talking? Now you talk with me you idiot. Where the hell have you been.” He asked
“I wanted to be alone for a while that’s it, don’t change the topic how did you got hurt?” she answered
“A rod went inside my leg, I was riding on the bike and then suddenly the bike slipped and there was a broken rod beside the construction work and it went inside my leg. And why should I take care of myself, what will you do then? ” he asked,
“What the hell! Don’t you know how to drive and just look at you, you are laughing. “she said (angrily)
“Why are you getting mad, I’m all good” he said
“Hmm better be good, it’s not only your life anymore”, she pleaded
He didn’t understand the meaning of her sentence and he would never ever understand it because he was too busy in his own pain.
Things had become common for her now; she could tell when he was awake, when he was drunk, when he cried, when he got hurt, when he needed her. She was THE JULIET in real sense but his Romeo never recognized her.
She knew there was no sense in running away from him. She was his best-friend. He would tell her his every secret, would flirt with her, tell her how important she is and would be with her whenever she needed him.
All was going good apart from one simple thing, she had made him number one priority and was destroying herself each day whether it was her studies or anything else related to her career, her happiness. She would stay awake for him all night just to listen to his all day buzz. She would stay quiet when he used to talk with her.
She used to flirt with him, tease him but when it was his turn to speak she would listen in a very calm way. He would tell her each and every thing at the end of the day and would narrate her stories at time. They would talk about almost everything and still they would get a new topic to discuss each night. She would call her Barbie and he would fight with her because of this name.
Somehow that innocent little girl had no idea where her feeling was taking her. Days passed but her love just grew stronger and stronger. He would tell her about the girls he met, the girls he liked.
She would give her suggestions how to behave on a date and she would cry in the night because she had no idea if she could confess her feelings.
She knew he would leave her and the simple fear losing him would kill her more. She always wanted his happiness and she could trade all her life for him but the point of fact was he didn’t know how much she loved him.
He had taken her for granted, no doubt he would fight with the whole world for her but he never knew how hurt she was. She was hiding her feeling from him and that was the most painful task to do. She had to be pretentious in front of him. She used to love him a lot but this love was very hurting. And that day she wrote her first love letter:
I know you hate this name but I can’t help myself from calling you this. And the simplest reason of it is that you are as pure as a Barbie doll. You are someone on whom I can rely on, who would never hurt me intentionally and would be with me whenever I need you.
I know you must be wondering why I am writing you all this because to be honest I don’t have enough guts to say it to you. I have fallen in love with you. Not a usual one, intense and deep one but I can’t hide it anymore from you. I love you a lot Barbie and I always will till the end of this time. I can’t control it anymore;
I can’t hide from you anymore. I can do anything for you but I am tired of this now. You never listen to me nor do you know how much you mean to me. I can’t see you getting destroyed because that destroys me as well. You deserve all the happiness in the world but you are stuck to that single girl who doesn’t care about you at all.
I’m tired of feeling your pain Barbie, I’m sick of feeling your soul into mine. Wherever I look I see your face and it just won’t stop. Every guy I see, I see your reflection in him. It’s scary and I have no one to express this fear. I want to get you out of my heart and mind and you won’t go so I’m writing you this letter Barbie to get all the things out of my heart.
I love you irrevocably and unconditionally and I don’t expect your love in return because I know it’s an unreal dream doll but whenever you need me, you can always count on me.
You are my best friend, you taught me what it feels to be in love but you never told me the most important thing when you fall in love was that the other person should also love you. You should have told me how it hurts when the former person doesn’t feel the same for you.
You didn’t tell me any of it and see I am here alone fighting with my own fears.
Well you always knew I was in LOVE with the idea of love, the typical ROMEO-JULIET love but I never thought I’ll fall in love with you who’ll never love me back and get stuck into this Juliet stuff all alone with my Romeo so scared from me that he would just run away as far as possible on seeing me.
Sometimes I do doubt my love but then I don’t get any good explanation of what I suffer from when he isn’t around but I could sense each pain that he goes through even if he’s miles apart.
I know it might sound a bit unreal and only magical but trust me you would never want this to happen in your lives because it is something beyond just LOVE stuff….
I can’t help it but the thing is I actually hate to love you.
Being in love is not that easy and if you ask me I think that
“It’s always better to be loved than to love.”
Yeah I know it’s your favorite line but trust me you are very lucky that someone loves you this way doll….stay happy.
Your very own
She wrote it and cried a lot but then as her tears rolled her eyes she folded this paper and kept in her diary so that nobody could ever know how weak she was from inside. She was smiling seeing his pictures. She was praying for his happiness. She had decided that she would not talk to him anymore.
She would try to move on in her life. She would make new friends who would know her worth, who would know that she was priceless. Someone who would acknowledge her, love her truly not just as a lover but as a friend, as a protector, as a princess. She wouldn’t pick his call she decided for the sake of deciding.
It was late at night, he called her and she talked with him the whole night.
Her letter still lies in her diary waiting for her Romeo to read it….