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INSPIRATION

It’s not easy to be the daughter of country renowned actress. People seemed so plastic, fake. There was always a rush around her, as if every minute was national emergency and any information about someone else, even if it was as small as the person cooking biriyani back at home, was vital. Wearing proper dress rather baring everything was important ‘cause ‘the nation depends on your style sense’.

Her father, who was he? The knowledge of her father was just a controversy. She knows nothing about him apart from that, her parents were the spices of country’s biggest film controversy of the decade. She has never seen him in person, just images and autopsy reports.

She lacked her parents’ love and care. Her father was dead and mother was cold.

Every year she witnessed a change of her mother’s partner. Sometimes married actors, sometimes single, young newcomers, producers, directors and who not! Whenever she made herself bit comfortable with the fact that her mother has a new partner and believes that this might be the last one, she manages herself a new one. It was really difficult for her to make friends among the film industry clan. She always felt, that her friends’ father might be her mother’s next partner; this made her feel really gauche.

Mitchell Roy, was the nation’s face for woman empowerment, child welfare. She was one the highest paid actress, and also holder of many national awards. But to her daughter she was a mother. A failed mother who never even breast fed her own daughter; was not there to cheer her daughter up on annual events or was present in Parents’ teacher’s meeting. Even when Mriganka was lying unconscious with high fever, going to the post award gala was of more priority.

It is not that Mriganka never tried to cope up with glamour world. And it won’t be wrong to say that she also wanted to be an actress. Her mother was her inspiration. She wanted to be just like her; beautiful, successful, face of the nation’s fashion, representative of Indian cinema to the world audience, until the film world showed her its true colour. Until the film world took what little good was there inside her mother.

Mitchell would be wrongly accused if it was said that she didn’t love her Mriganka. When Mitchell came to the city, she was just clay who could be moulded into any shape. Fortunately, she was in good hands and was triumphant in delivering back to back hits. She fell in love with Mriganka’s father, her co-star. They were madly in love with each other, they laughed together, they fought together, mad love together, went places together and then one day Mitchell became pregnant.

Mriganka’s father thought that their love child might interfere with their career and decided to abort the child, but Mitchell was in conflict.

She wanted to keep the child, even if she had to raise the child on her own. Somehow the news of pregnancy was leaked, which led to the ‘sex controversy’ and followed by by the massive interference in both of their career. Nobody offered them job. Even if they got any, that would result to massive flop. People would call her Slut. Some even asked her to sale her body in return of a movie. Mriganka’s father didn’t have to face this, for by that time he had left India. Mitchell was all alone, pregnant, with no living as such. But she protected her child from every adversity. She could have gone to escort services but she chose to stand with her head held high. It was after all Mriganka’s and Mitchell’s future. She only felt every passing moment ‘the worst has passed only the bad remains behind’. Mriganka’s father left the country and never came back. He is dead to Mrignaka’s knowledge. Whatever Mitchell did she did for her daughter.

She knows that Mriganka hates her. But to secure her future, the mother had to take the step. She had to go through many turmoil and get back to her lost position. Flop after flop, controversy after controversy, many of which she wasn’t part of. But still she stood with her head high. She had loved only one man and she still does. The so called partner are just to make sure that she never lacks “ glamorous, fake” friends when she needs film or promotions. She made sure that everybody’s first choice is she. She never forced Mriganka to follow her footsteps, so she made every possible effort to make Mriganka loathe the film world. She regretted not seeing Mrignaka’s childhood but it was either that or Mriganka’s whole life, she chose to secure the future.

“MA”, the long forgotten word, is no more uttered. Ma was once her inspiration but she hates her for not giving her time, her for not loving her, for taken away her inspiration from her, for taking away her Ma and only supposed world.

Oh! Fool! Only if she knew the truth, she would have felt what is above inspiration for her mother. Her love awits the future.

Irabati.

November 30, 2016
The Personal Diary of Pihu – Part 1 (5)
This is the story of a girl called “pihu”. this is like her personal diary through we can know about her life.
Recap:

Pihu was returning home from the theatre. She found a bunch of flowers with a sticky note near the main door. Pihu was shocked to see the words “to my princess pihu” I love you.

Pihu was sure that abhishek did not buy those flowers. Pihu was suspecting the stalker who followed her couple of days back. She is worried now. But she cannot do anything at that time.
The next day morning, pihu called her mom.
Mom, mom…..
Pihu: mom I want to share something with you and need your guidance.
Pihu’s mom: tell me dear, what’s the issue?
Pihu: mom, I went to the park couple of days before to meet my friend. Then she explained what exactly happened that day. She said about the flowers which were near the main door of her home yesterday. Mom, should I need to report to the police?
Pihu’s mom: her mom seems to be shocked. Pihu why you didn’t tell me about these incidents?
Pihu: mom, I thought to ignore that person. I was not sure whether the same man kept the flowers or not. So I am confused now.
Pihu’s mom: pihu, we cannot report this incident to the police until we get any details about that stalker. So be careful baby. If you suspect anyone then don’t wait to get my advice. Just go and report to the police.
Pihu: ok mom. Thank you for guiding me. Love you so much.
Pihu’s mom: love you dear.
Few days later….
Pihu, at the College
Pihu is in happy mood. Her friends noticed and asked pihu.
Tia: pihu, what happened to you? You are looking so excited. What’s the reason?
Pihu: Tia. You are absolutely right. There is a reason for my happiness.
Clara: then share with us.
Pihu: my cousin Sonia is coming to our home tomorrow.
Tia: pihu, what’s there to get excited?
Pihu: Tia, you didn’t know the actual reason. My cousin Sonia is coming to our home because she has completed her graduation. I have planned to celebrate the occasion.
Tia: so it is a welcome party.
Pihu: it will not be exactly like a party. I just want to welcome her specially. My dad is not in home. So we can celebrate as per our wish.
Tia: pihu you are like a kid. Can we join with you?
Pihu: sure. I welcome you all to my home.
Tia: you are so sweet.
Pihu: don’t forget to come tomorrow at 6’o clock in the evening.
Pihu’s friends agreed that they will come to her home.
The next day morning….
Pihu, at Home
Pihu’s mom: pihu, don’t you hear the door bell? Someone is at the door. Please go baby
Pihu: ok mom.
Pihu: when she opened the door she saw Sonia with a cute smile on her face.
Pihu: oh my god… Sonia.
Sonia: hey pihu. How are you? How is your college life?
Pihu: I am good and today is holiday for the college
Meanwhile, pihu’s mom came there.
Hey Sonia baby how are you? Is everything okay?
Sonia: Everything is fine and she smiled at pihu’s mom.
Pihu’s mom: Sonia, you forget something.
Sonia. Oh my god!!! What?
Pihu’s mom: Sonia baby, in your school days you would call me mom just like my pihu.
Sonia: oops!! Sorry I forget it. From now onwards I will call as mom. Is that okay?
Pihu’s mom: yes, that is what I need. Ok dear, go and take bath. I’ll prepare breakfast.
Sonia: ok, mom
Sonia, pihu and her mom at the dining table
Sonia: wow!! All are my favorite food.
Pihu’s mom: yes. I have prepared specially for you.
Pihu: mom, then what about me??
Pihu’s mom: pihu, don’t act too much. I know you too like these foods.
Pihu: yes mom, ok let’s start our breakfast. Few minutes later, Sonia I forget to tell you something.
Sonia: what pihu?
Pihu: my friends will come today evening to meet you.
Sonia: hey pihu, that’s a good idea.
Evening 6’o Clock at Pihu’s Home
Pihu’s mom: Pihu, Sonia are you ready?
Pihu: yes mom.
Sonia: mom, I am wearing a new dress today.
Pihu’s mom: you look like an angel.
Pihu: mom what about me?
Pihu’s mom: you are so pretty my dear
Reena, Tia, preethi and Clara came there
Hi pihu…
Pihu: hi girls… welcome to my home.
Then pihu introduced her friends to her mom.
Pihu’s mom: please be comfortable like your home.
Pihu’s friend’s said ok aunty.
Pihu: girls, please wait for a second. I’ll call Sonia.
Pihu: Sonia, where are you?
Sonia: yes, I am coming pihu.
Pihu: meet my cousin Sonia. When Sonia came to the hall pihu’s friends were surprised.
Pihu: hey friends!!!! What happened?
Tia: pihu, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Your cousin resembles just like you pihu.
Clara: yes pihu. How is it possible?
Reena and preethi also said the same.
Pihu’s mom: girls, there is nothing to get surprised. Genetics play an important role and that’s why pihu and Sonia resembles similar.
Pihu’s friends accept the fact.
Pihu: But there is small difference between us.
Tia: yes, I know that pihu. Sonia is taller than pihu and she wears spectacles but pihu won’t use spectacles.
Reena: pihu, that’s a minor difference. But if anyone see you both together, then they will get confused.
Pihu: I too agree with you reena. Ok let us start the party. The welcome party lasted for 2 hours.
Pihu was not aware that the face resemblance between her and Sonia is going to create an issue in the future.
A month later….
Pihu, at Home
Pihu’s Dad: pihu don’t go anywhere tomorrow in the morning.
Pihu: why dad?
Pihu’s Dad: my guests will come to our home tomorrow.
Pihu: dad I will meet them in the afternoon. I have to go the library dad.
Pihu’s Dad: pihu, you can go to the library after few hours. You should be here when the guests come to our home. I want to introduce you to them.
Pihu: ok dad.
The next day morning…..
Pihu remembers what her dad said yesterday. So she wake up from the bed earlier. 1 hour later pihu noticed a car in front of her home. So she went to the hall to receive them. Pihu’s mom and dad received the guests. Pihu joined with her parents.
Pihu’s dad introduced pihu to them.
Sir, she is pihu. My daughter
Pihu: hello uncle, aunty
Then her dad introduces a person to pihu who seems to be their son.
Pihu’s Dad: pihu, he is prem.
Pihu: she said hello to prem. Then pihu spend five more minutes with them and went inside her room.
Pihu’s mom: pihu, why are you sitting in your room?
Pihu: mom, you know about me. Dad told me to stay in home to welcome the guest. So I am still here. Otherwise I’ll be in the library now.
Pihu’s mom: ok dear, just come and join with us for breakfast.
Pihu: no mom. Just for you I’ll take an apple. I am getting late mom. You please take care of the guest. I am moving now.
Pihu’s mom: ok pihu, come soon for the lunch.
Pihu: ok mom. Pihu walked towards the library.
In the afternoon
When pihu enters the home there was absolute silence. She couldn’t saw the guests there. So she asked her mom.
Pihu: mom, where are they?
Pihu’s mom: who, Mr. Bhatia and his family? They moved to the airport pihu.
Pihu: airport? Where they are going?
Pihu’s mom: they are going to Canada. Actually their son prem is going to continue his higher education in Canada and Mr. Bhatia also has his company there. So they are planning to settle in Canada.
Pihu: oh… that’s great. Do they have any branch office here in our city?
Pihu’s mom: yes pihu. But why you are concerned about their office.
Pihu: I thought I can get a job after my graduation.
Pihu’s mom: pihu!!!! Are you serious? You said you will do master’s degree.
Pihu: yes mom. Before that I want to do a job at least for a year.
Pihu’s mom: but why? You can go for job after your higher education.
Pihu: yes mom. Just to get an experience I like to go for a job after my graduation.
Pihu’s mom: if you are serious about your job then I’ll speak with Mr. Bhatia.
Pihu: ok mom let us discuss about this later. Still I have two more years to finish my graduation.
Pihu’s mom: pihu, I spoke to Sonia in the morning.
Pihu: Sonia?!! But I didn’t receive any call from her. Then she realized that her phone has been switched off due to low battery.
Pihu: sorry mom. I didn’t notice that my phone has been switched off.
Pihu’s mom: I knew it. Sonia tried to reach you but she couldn’t. So she called me. She wants to talk to you. So call her pihu.
Pihu: ok mom. I’ll do that.
Pihu: hi Sonia, how are you?
Sonia: hey. I am good pihu. Listen I am planning to come to your home this week.
Pihu: don’t tell lie. After the welcome party you didn’t come to my home.
Sonia: what to do pihu? I am going to continue my higher education. So I am visiting colleges and universities every day to get the details and to submit the applications. So I couldn’t come to your home.
Pihu: that’s ok Sonia. I am feeling happy now because you need not to go for other cities to continue your higher education. So when are you coming here?
Sonia: actually I have planned to stay in your home for a month. After one month I have to go to the college. By the end of this week I will be there.
Pihu: that’s great Sonia. I will be waiting for you.
Pihu, at the College
Pihu: hey girls? How are you all?
Clara: we all are good pihu except reena
Pihu: why? What happened to her?
Tia: abhishek rejected reena’s proposal.
Pihu: when this happened?
Preethi: reena proposed abhishek yesterday but he immediately refused.
Pihu: now pihu was shocked and confused. She wants to know whether abhishek revealed the actual reason to reena that he is in love with pihu or not?
Pihu: why abhishek rejected her? Do you know the reason?
Clara: abhishek said to reena that he is in love with someone and so he cannot accept reena.
Pihu: did he say the name of the girl?
Tia: no.
Pihu: now pihu was feeling relaxed. Where is reena?
Clara: she is there.
Pihu: Reena was sitting in the last row of the class room and crying. So she went near reena. Reena please don’t cry.
Reena: pihu, you don’t know how I am feeling now?
Pihu: no reena, I know what you feel now. But what to do reena, you have to accept the fact.
Reena: I won’t accept that abhishek is in love with someone. I will wait for him till he accepts me. Otherwise I will not marry anyone.
Pihu: pihu did not know that reena is so serious about abhishek. Ok reena. Let us think about this later. Now come with me. Pihu tried to console reena.
Few hours later pihu met abhishek and asked him why he had behaved rudely.
Pihu: I didn’t expect this kind of behavior from you.
Abhishek: what to do pihu. I have talked with reena for more than two hours and try to explain her that I cannot accept her and I am in love with someone. But she didn’t understand. So I have no other choice. But I didn’t reveal the name of my angel.
Pihu: thank you abhishek. It will become more difficult if you told reena about me.
Abhishek: I know that.
Pihu: Why reena proposed you yesterday? She said that she will wait for the right moment. So I am shocked.
Abhishek: maybe she would have thought that I will accept her.
Silence prevails between them. But they didn’t notice reena was watching them.

Will reena find the truth about abhishek and pihu? Whether pihu can continue her friendship with reena? How abhishek will hide the name of his lover?
November 30, 2016
A Dark Night

Every dark night brings with it the thrill and fear, but courage and trust can let one see the bright day that follows… A lie is not just a lie when trust is at stake!!!

“Come Sarah, have your dinner, father will come soon. I am waiting for him; you come and have your dinner at least.” Sarah was sitting at the front gate of the house, looking at the road, she said, “No, I will also wait for father. I have to tell him a lot of things. I got the first prize today for essay. You don’t understand. I will eat with him and by the way I am not that hungry even, so I can wait. You see, my stomach is so full!” and she showed her tummy to her mother in a very credulous manner. They both sat again.

Though Sonali was being impatient and tensed yet hope was what overtaking her fear and insecurity. She had to maintain that image of certainty in front of Sarah so as not to frighten her. It was going to be 9 o’ clock, an hour late from the regular arrival time of Srijit. She had also called his office only to know that he left in his usual time. Srijit also doesn’t have any habit of staying midway for anything as his work or any bad habit or any shopping. It has been more than 10years to their marriage and Sarah is their daughter, but never did Sonali experience this before. But today, things were as if out of place. Sonali was not being able to connect the dots. Keeping the uncertainty within herself she was trying to make Sarah sleep as she is only 7years old, but Sarah was insisting on to have dinner with her father as it was her glorious day of celebration.

Time passed. And it was now 10pm. Now Sonali couldn’t resist her desire to go for an investigation! She didn’t know where to go and how!! She saw today in the television that a train got derailed near her place but Srijit didn’t come by train! Suddenly she cursed herself for what she was thinking but then again thoughts of the same kind came to her mind, again and again!!

She decided to go, go at any cost without thinking of the inconvenience but then what will she do with Sarah!

She asked her again to have her dinner and sleep, that is when Sarah agreed to eat and sleep as she was extremely sleepy. But she needed a promise that mother will wake her up when Srijit arrives, to which Sonali agreed happily. She fed her and then took her in her cradle to make her sleep, but her eyes were moist and repeatedly she was looking out of the door to find a trace of Srijit, which will make her rather certain. Beyond the happiness of Sarah’s success she also had good news to share, for which she was being too impatient the whole day for Srijit’s arrival. Silently her hands went to feel the little life bud blooming inside her! Tears rolled down her cheeks, she was as if feeling something!

She then found Sarah sleeping and locked the house from outside, with complete determination in her mind; she stepped outside at 11pm in the night and started to walk in the direction of the office of Srijit. She then found Kabool Bhaiya, the auto driver who stays near their home and once got help from them during his need. He called out from the auto to know what happened to her, and she explained. Then kabool said her to get into his auto as he also wanted to help his neighbour. They both went ahead, tearing the silence of night. Sonali was on the verge of breaking into tears and was feeling extremely tensed, when she felt sweat drops rolling down from her forehead in the chilly night of November.

They went slowly to find any trace or signal to look for Srijit! Sonali was about to cry when she found the bike of Srijit lying on the road near the railway track.

She shouted at the top her voice to stop when she broke into streams of tears; both of them went down from the auto to find Srijit. At a distance he was lying with blood trickling down from his body, his head was hit, while Sonali ran to find him, Kabool followed her. They found him senseless, frightened Sonali along with Kabool took Srijit to the auto to take him to the nearby hospital. They went to the hospital near their home only to find that it was too late at night. Sonali was standing there clueless when she remembers Mr. Gupta, who was a very good friend Srijit. She immediately called him to ask a favour of doing something for Srijit. Mr. Gupta knowing about the condition his dear friend went directly to the Lifeline Hospital and talked to doctors over there. Srijit got admitted and bottles of saline water were charged into his body to make him move! When Sonali looked at her watch, she found it was 4am in the morning. Then she suddenly remembered that Sarah was alone at home. She was feeling extreme helpless, when Mr. Gupta assured her about the condition of Srijit improving quite well and he can stay there until she returns keeping Sarah in safe hands. Sonali decided to go back to home in the morning, so that she can make Sarah get ready and leave her at her friend’s place for some days. By the time dawn was getting its colours of mixed orange and red, Sonali was feeling safe about her red bindi staying intact for a long time now! Srijit came back to his senses by morning and talked to her for a moment, which made her day; though she burst into tears thinking about the night that just passed she was now feeling good about the day that just broke.

With feelings of pain and pleasure, she rushed home to find that Sarah was sleeping quite peacefully. She then woke her up and made her get fresh in their regular style handling her sleepy mood well. Then Sarah suddenly realized that she didn’t see her father and it made her ask a lot of questions.

To address the questions of the tiny tot Sonali at first thought of telling a lie to manipulate the little one’s feelings, but then didn’t want to lose the trust of her little daughter.

She simply asked her to have her breakfast following which she will explain everything to her. Sarah sat uncertain about what was happening and then had her breakfast without the regular drama and looked into her mother’s eyes. She then said her everything as how Srijit faced an accident and now is in hospital, only leaving the part that she had to leave her alone at home the previous night so as to make her feel safe; and then she explained her that now she has to stay at her friend’s place for some days, which Sonali has already talked to the aunt. That made Sarah unhappy but she didn’t want to bargain looking at the expressions of feeling in the face of Sonali. She just requested her mother to take her once to father, so that she can see him. To which Sonali agreed, giving a kiss on her daughter’s forehead she said, “We will go together on Tuesday, and father is very happy hearing about your prize in the essay competition and he said that when he will be completely alright we will go together to the water park to play and celebrate and he will buy you a new watch.”

This made the dawn even more beautiful, both the ladies hugging each other, gave another strong emotional rope to bind their relationship!

Image Source: hanofharmony.com

November 30, 2016
Come, Let’s Murder Somebody

Everyone says it’s better to forgive and forget what happened, then we can move on. Forgive – maybe. But forget? I wish I could. Things won’t let me.

There is no life for me. What I feel is like existing in a bleak environment, devoid of everything that gives a meaning to life. There is no house, no parents, no family, no money – nothing! There never had been; ever since he had lost his parents, the first time. Yes, the first time had been his biological parents. And the next time, it had been my foster parents.

Car accidents have become very frequent now-a-days. And these car accidents were the reason why I lost my parents twice, though in two dramatically different situations. The parents I was born to were extremely poor. We lived in the outskirts of Delhi, my father working as an industrial labourer in the city. One evening mom and dad had been out. I forget the reason, but that had been the last time I had seen them. I don’t know what exactly happened, but it amounted to this that some drunken driver had hit them from behind, killed them both and escaped. Of course he got caught later, but it had been too late then.

I was a boy of seven and had slept peacefully that night, to be taken to some tea stall by a neighbor the next morning, with the shocking news that my parents would never return again.

The neighbour was a good man, I had like him from childhood, but that day I hated him the most. He wouldn’t answer my questions, me wouldn’t listen to me; all he told me was that it was my fate to lead the life of a tea seller’s assistant from now on. And that’s what I did for three months, until I was adopted by a wealthy couple, simply because they found my face sort of similar to their dead child.

Again I had to learn surviving in a new environment, which flung at me a merciless array of new manners, rules, etiquettes and painful of all – textbooks. Now, it is true that I had always thought school would be fascinating, but the reality was far from that. I’ll skip over the details of loneliness, taunts, comments behind the back, stares and gossip. But, I was a quick learner and almost after a year, things seemed to straighten out and I began to be a bit at ease. Seven years passed. Their love was enough to make me put aside my past, move on and feel at home. They were my love, my family and probably the only human connections I had left, when another of these wretched car accidents took them away from me. This time the car was my parents’ and they crashed into a tree to avoid a drunken driver, and again the driver escaped, this time not to get caught.

Their old will was made in the name of some relative. A new one hadn’t been furnished. So I came back to the streets again, penniless and relation-less. But this time I had my degree and ample education to land me into a job. Not a very attractive one, no, but one that is enough to allow me to lead a normal life, if not a luxurious one.

Now when I think back, I feel ashamed of myself for scoffing at education. Painful a process it is, but the pain is worth it. But all the same, when I think of what I might have gained if I had my parents left, I scoff at everything else – my life, fate and this unkind world. Sometimes I feel so low, so depressed, thinking about the past, the struggle, that I want to do myself in. Or do somebody else in – murder somebody. But I don’t find anybody to murder. People have never hurt me. Their callousness has, their vices have. I am definitely going to go mad one day if I continue thinking like this, but I can’t help it.

Thoughts keep crossing my mind; I need a logical explanation for every nasty thing that happens in the world from this so called “God”.

Yes, situations have turned me into an atheist, because I can’t help wondering why people have to suffer so much. Surely, if God is so mighty and omnipotent as he is portrayed to be, then wouldn’t it be nice if he eradicates everything that is not nice? But that sort of a miracle doesn’t happen. So, either God is absent or he too has got fed up with the vices and now ignores them. I don’t know, and on second thoughts, I don’t even want to know.

Therefore, what I think needs to be done is this – men have to take their responsibilities themselves and try to curb off the menaces. The idea of murder still allures me. Wouldn’t the world become a better place if each person murders something evil everyday? For example, if I murdered the greed within me today and tomorrow you murdered the lust within you and similarly one by one, all the evil gets murdered, one day the world will be free of children, who are none but corruption, theft, smuggling, rape and the lot. A world free of them would be nothing less than heaven.

So, come let’s start working on this project right from today. Come, let’s murder somebody within us.

Image Source: www.tonyskansascity.com

November 30, 2016
Her Story

The narrator of the short story, narrates the story of a single mother named Meera. The narration delves into the difficult marriage that the protagonist was in and how she finally found the courage to leave her husband and live a much happier life with two of her daughters.

A ray of sunlight enters through the minute hole on the glass ceiling and falls gently on the surface of the platform. The background of the train station resonates with the voices of countless people scattered all over the station. The lady on the speaker making the announcements regarding the arrival and departure of trains can be distinctly heard among the fusion of voices.

Meera drags herself to the platform where her train always arrives. Fatigue has spread to every bone of her body.

Fortunately, her train arrives as soon as she establishes herself on the platform without her having to wait for too long. It is 4 o’clock in the evening. She didn’t have to push herself through a crowd of women to get herself into the compartment. The train being empty, she soon settles herself on an empty window seat. She leans her head against the wall behind her and closes her eyes gently. Tears come cascading down her cheeks. She doesn’t stop herself from crying. Slowly the train begins to move and eventually, catches speed. The movement of her body co-ordinates with the movement of the train.

Meera, are you sure about your decision to marry him?
Yes of course, why do you ask?
It just seems too hasty, that is all.
What seems hasty? I don’t understand.
Meera, I just want you to think this through, just to be sure.

Meera opens her eyes. Today was the day 8 years ago when they became man and wife. But today, they cease to be man and wife. It has been a year since he has transformed from being her husband to her ex-husband. Theirs was a marriage which was done in haste. But theirs was also a marriage which wouldn’t have lasted for too long. She was 24 when they first met. She had never been in a relationship or had fallen in love in all of her existence, until she met him.

In the course of one year they got to know each other and realized that they loved each other and that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with each other.

The first year of their marriage was the last time she remembered them being happy. They did have fights but not the one’s which destroyed them.

After giving birth to their first daughter, he began to feel less loved by her. Things weren’t the same between them. Bit by bit, silence was what prevailed between them for the most part. The only time they communicated was when she mentioned something about the baby or anything very general, to which he replied in monosyllables. Communication with their bodies lacked emotion. He soon began spending more of his time outside the house. He slowly began coming home drunk after consuming a large amount of alcohol, on most days. One such night, he forced himself on her. He pushed her on the bed and held her wrists with great force. She tried to break away from his clutches, but he was too strong for her. As he came closer, she could smell the alcohol on his breath. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he entered her. She grabbed the sides of the pillow and tried to prevent herself from screaming. She wept silently. She cried herself to sleep.

He no longer remained the man she once loved, but a beast. A beast who had taken him, entirely. A beast who filled his empty stomach every night by consuming her.

Gradually she stopped crying when the beast consumed her. She lay like a dead body, allowing him to complete his beastly act. One such beastly act resulted in the birth of their second child, another daughter.

He didn’t care to give either of their children the kind of love they expected from him. She ceased to care whether he loved her or not, but what mattered to her was that he’d at least be a good father to their children. He refused to hold them in his arms, to talk to them or be there for them through every important event in their lives. His attitude toward their children slowly made her angry. She chose to embrace silence at first and keep everything inside her for fear that her words might lead to troubling consequences. But soon enough, the anger shut behind the cells within Meera, slowly found its way out through her words. The silence between them was substituted with long hours of arguing on high decibels. Meera didn’t care about being attacked by the beast. Every time she spoke, she felt less claustrophobic. She remembered arguing one day with him. It was pouring outside. It felt like their high pitched voices were competing with the sound of rainwater cascading down from the sky and hitting the ground. In the middle of the argument suddenly her eyes fell on her baby girl standing near the door of the living room. She stood there, her little body shaking and fear written on her face. She just looked deep into her daughter’s eyes, the beast’s voice now less audible in the background.

A little part of her died inside. That was the moment when she realized that she had to leave.

She ran toward her daughter and held her tightly. She carried her younger daughter and held her other daughter by the hand, took whatever she could and marched toward the door. He came and stood in front of her. He grabbed her arm tight and threatened to do something. She pushed him aside with all the strength she had and ran out with both of her daughters.

Meera lifts herself up from her seat and walks toward the door of the train compartment. Her train begins to slow down as it reaches the station at which she gets down. She steps out of the train and walks home. She walks home with fatigue spread to every bone of her body and the need to get past the end of this particular day. She stands outside her house for a few seconds and takes a deep breath. She enters the house to see her daughters playing together. Meera stands there watching them and the sight wiped away all the sadness living within her. She smiles to herself and completely feels the happiness that she hasn’t felt in a very long time.

Image Source: Cafemom.com

November 26, 2016
It’s All the Same

New is just another version of the old, an artificial version of the natural existence, accepting the new without the premise of old makes beliefs irrational until the moment when they are challenged!!!

Bright lights went dim and the noise of the crowd went into silence, the appraisals went towards a humming sound creating goose bumps in my ears. It was a long time that I came to my favourite place on earth for a leisure. Then I saw Ramu kaka cleaning my house. I find this person way too connected to me for whatsoever reasons. He just understands how I prioritize my decision and is damn good at executing them just as per my taste.

He stopped cleaning the utensils and asked me the purpose of arranging this party in a large scale after such a long time, that made me feel quite good to answer. I went on saying, “Yes, kaka, it is a great achievement that I had recently; I am rewarded as the best business tycoon in the country. It was the sumptuous ceremony of celebration for this grand success of my life. So, I arranged it in my farm-house. I love this place. The pine trees at both sides of the path from the gate to this place of mine, look fabulous. The lawn is well maintained by my care-taker appointed over here.

The swimming pool here is too beautiful. Such a big one; I love it. Even you know what! I have kept it in the mid of my lawn. That gives me a feeling too natural. When I just take a bathe there and get up; it’s like sun is in the sky and

I will be stepping on the green grass of my lawn, it feels like heaven. What to say about the night shower. In the moonlit night it feels too romantic.

To the backyard of this house we have plants that have golden coloured leaves and very bushy. They enhance the beauty of this place. In the cool breeze of winter when they move slowly, I feel as if they are playing, enjoying the cold. And I’m so fortunate that this time all my guests have this opportunity to experience this view. Yes, it’s because now this is the winter time and the same play is going on here. Some of my guests have even stayed here for the night to enjoy this ceremony of love with the rising sun of tomorrow. This is a great honour to me really. People like Mr.Keats and Mr.Williams are staying to enjoy the show of my farm house.”

He said being happy for me, “Congratulations Sir, it is for this reasons that your father used to say that you had a long way to go! May God give all the parents in the earth a son like you.”

That made me quite struck, I just felt as if all my pomp vanished in a moment, “Well, kaka, I don’t know what my father really meant by that but looking at his circumstances and outlook I would rather say he said things quite in a generic manner, he never might have imagined this. He revered these things as such a height that he might not have imagined his son to be a business-man. He used to compare the street shops to big businesses, he would say business is the same however what matters is the scale of operation. Well, I would not agree, as businesses really differ on what they operate as much as how and how much!”

I felt somehow as Ramu kaka felt bad on this and he simply switched the topic to say, “Well, son, how was the food? The caterer was really being stubborn not to come but I managed quite hard to convince him to come.”

I felt as if I have grown irresponsible and with a sudden rush I asked, “Why kaka? Didn’t you have food yet?”

He said, “No, I had my food but I just wanted to know how your guests liked it? You know, tastes differ and they do matter.”

I now got the context and suddenly replied, “I am sorry. In the pleasure of my house I forgot to mention the party of the night. The food preparation was liked by all my guests. The caterer was an awesome personality. I am quite impressed with him. He cooks too delicious. I know him much before this. His food tastes too good and that’s why I just invited him here. Thank God, the decision worked fantastic. I’m happy that my guests were well taken care of.

Credit goes to that man, my caterer and you of course. But seriously, I don’t like his life-style. I don’t understand how they lead their life there in such an uncivilized manner!

His residence is in a very disgusting place. I don’t like that at all. In the country side, by the side of the river Narmada much nearer to the paddy fields he lives there. They are two brothers. His elder brother is into farming and he is into this. Quite a good business raw materials at hand to produce and serve; No! But their living; so obnoxious; I tell you. They go to bathe there in that river. I wonder how the modern man can live in such a manner! Bathing in the river!!! Having paddy fields at the backyard; how village-like that does seem!

Those grass in the front of their home! The creepers of bitter guard and cucumber at the side! They say, they are in peace there in the cradle of nature! But how can they be happy in such a village like atmosphere! Again the occupation of his elder brother! The job of uneducated people! I can’t even imagine how cheap their life style must be! Working in the mud and dust amid the barn in dirty clothes! No sense of fashion! They don’t even know the manners of dressing well! Living like the uncivilized people of history! I can’t believe they are a part of the modern society.

Quite a mass opines regarding this. Even in our high society some people think farming needs to be encouraged. But if farmers are this part of the society with whom I can’t even think to click a photo sitting side by side; how can they be important! Like, I am a very important person in the society and I do hold a good position. I am being dressed in an imported brand and wear foreign branded shoes. My shoes even cost more than their monthly expenses. And look at this segment debating that these farmers should be given a good place in the society. But I want them to rethink on the issue that whether they think this segment of farmers to be social…!

Kaka was astounded and asked me just a question, “Well, son, what was your business about? I forgot, sorry…”

I was taken aback at his forgetfulness and said, “We are one of the biggest bakery industry in the world.”

He then again asked, “Yeah, now I remember, and you procure your materials from the farmers residing near river Ganga… right?”

I was feeling the whiskey making its heaviness feel and I was just sensing what he intended to say with these little questions, I nodded and wished him goodnight but in reality the sun has risen inside me to wake me up from the dreariest dream that I was having…!

Image Source: scottdmiller.com

November 26, 2016
The Personal Diary of Pihu – Part 1 (4)
This is the story of a girl called “Pihu”. this is like her personal diary through we can know about her life.
After knowing her dad will not return home for two more week Pihu was afraid to stay alone with her mom. She decided to share her confusions with her mom. So Pihu said,

Mom, I want to tell you something

Pihu’s mom already noticed that Pihu seems to be confused for the past few days.

Tell me dear, what’s your problem?

Mom I want to tell something related with the robbery incident which has happened few days earlier.

What was that Pihu?

Mom, I have seen a man with a black face mask near the compound wall of our nearby house. He must be a thief and the police have also mentioned that his name was robin and he has escaped from the jail. I have read this information from the newspaper.

Mom I have seen the same man with a black face mask yesterday. He was running nearby the home which has caught fire.

Pihu’s mom: oh my god.

Pihu: should I need to share this information with the police?

Pihu’s mom: Sure Pihu. It’s our duty to help the police. Don’t worry. I will call the police.

Pihu: thank you mom. Now I am feeling better.

1 hour later, they got a call from the police station.

Alex: hello, I’m Alex the investigating officer

Pihu’s mom: hello sir. I have called you 1 hour before.

Alex: yes, actually I was in a meeting. So I couldn’t talk with you.

Pihu’s mom: no problem sir. Can we talk now?

Alex: yes, tell me.

Pihu’s mom: A thief had entered into our neighbor’s house few days before. Sir, my daughter Pihu has seen a man wearing black face mask on that day and also yesterday where a house in our street caught fire.

Alex: yes we know that he is robin. We are sure about this because he only wears a black face mask whenever he is doing any criminal activities.

Pihu’s mom: yes sir. My daughter also said the same as she knew this information through newspaper.

Alex: good. I really appreciate your efforts to share this information with us. Thank you so much. Please don’t worry about this. We will arrange for police patrolling every day in your area.

Pihu’s mom: thank you so much sir. Then we can live without tension.

Alex: That’s ok madam. It’s our duty.

Pihu’s mom: Pihu now put an end to your confusions. The investigating officer Alex said he will arrange for police patrolling every day in our area.

Pihu: oh. That’s great mom. Now I am relieved from the stress.

Pihu’s mom: Pihu, what I have told you? You can share anything with me. Don’t hesitate.

Pihu: ok, love you ma.

Pihu’s mom: love you dear.

Pihu, at the College

After one hour of the lectures, Pihu went to cafeteria along with her friends. They discussed about their exams. After few minutes, everyone moved to their class room. Suddenly abhishek came there and called Pihu. Pihu, could you please spend few minutes with me?

Pihu turned towards reena, but reena didn’t notice abhishek as she was talking with the other friends and she was about to leave the cafeteria. So Pihu called Clara and said she will come to class after few minutes.

Abhishek: Pihu

Pihu: tell me abhishek

Abhishek: I want to meet you in the park near to your home.

Pihu: is there any special reason?

Abhishek: yes Pihu. It’s personal.

Pihu: ok abhishek we will meet in the park at 6.0’ clock in the evening.

Abhishek: thank you Pihu.

Pihu: Pihu was thinking what abhishek is going to say in the park. But her instinct says that he is going to propose her.

Pihu: She is thinking that what she should say if abhishek proposed her.

Pihu, at the Park

Pihu entered the park and saw abhishek. Both smiled at each other.

Abhishek: Pihu you look stunning.

Pihu: oh. Come on abhishek. I am the same girl whom you meet every day in the college.

Abhishek: no Pihu. I didn’t tell lie. It’s true that you are looking so beautiful and I am in love with you Pihu.

Pihu: abhishek, what are you saying?

Abhishek: yes Pihu. I am deeply in love with you Pihu. I started loving you from the first day of our college. My love is true.

Pihu: Pihu exactly remembers the words what reena said about abhishek. Reena also said the same.

Abhishek: Pihu. Tell something.

Pihu: abhishek we know each other only few days before. Within a month how can I say anything?

Abhishek: Pihu, do you need time to decide about this?

Pihu: Yes abhishek. Moreover I want to complete my graduation and want to pursue higher studies. I cannot think about my marriage now.

Abhishek: Pihu I just expressed my feelings about you. You don’t need to think like I will become an obstacle to your studies. I just want to know what you feel about me.

Pihu: ok abhishek. I completely understand what you are trying to say. But I need time to think.

Abhishek: ok Pihu. I will wait for you.

Pihu was feeling happy that abhishek like her. But she wants to make sure about her feelings towards abhishek. So she said she needs time to think. Pihu saw her watch. It is already 7’O clock. She didn’t realize that for the past one hour she was talking with abhishek.

To reach her home, she should walk for 15 minutes. The park is near to her home. She was thinking about abhishek. When she turned towards her street, she had noticed someone is following her. Initially she thought that it may be a person who was living in that street. But she wants to make sure about that.

Pihu wants to see the face of the person who is following her. She purposely left her wallet in the ground then she stopped walking. The person who is following her also didn’t proceed further. Now Pihu was sure that he is following Pihu. She pretends as she is taking her wallet back from the ground.

Pihu bent downstairs and looks back. The moment Pihu turned back to see the man, the person suddenly move away from the place. So Pihu couldn’t see his face.

She is worried now. Who is that person, stalker?

Pihu, at the College

Pihu: hi girls

Pihu’s friends: hi Pihu.

Preethi: Pihu do you have any plans today evening?

Pihu: no. but why preethi?

Preethi: we have a plan. Can we all go for a movie today?

Pihu: we all means, only girl’s right?

Preethi: yes. But reena wants abhishek to join with us.

Pihu: at what time the film will end. Do you know that?

Preethi: Pihu, it will end around 10’o clock. But don’t worry. Abhishek said he will arrange a car for us.

Pihu: car? Is that abhishek’s car?

Preethi: yes, Pihu.

Pihu: ok preethi. Let me ask my mom then I will send you a message you in the evening.

Preethi: why Pihu? If your mom didn’t allow then, what will you do?

Pihu: Mom will not object for this plan. Actually my dad is not in our home. He went for an official trip. So if I go for a movie then my mom should stay alone in the home.

Preethi: don’t worry Pihu. If you think you are getting late then you can return back to your home before the movie ends.

Pihu: that’s a good idea. Moreover I don’t like to watch movies and I like to hear the songs only.

Pihu, at Home

Pihu: Where are you mom?

Pihu’s mom: baby why are you shouting? I am here in the kitchen.

Pihu: mom without your approval, I have decided something.

Pihu’s mom: what was that Pihu?

Pihu: ma. My friends have decided to watch a movie in the evening. I have also said I will join with them.

Pihu’s mom: ok what’s wrong in it?

Pihu: will you manage alone in the home.

Pihu’s mom: Pihu, I am not a kid. You should take care of yourself. But why are you asking like this Pihu?

Pihu: I was worried about the incidents which had happened in our street.

Pihu’s mom: don’t worry Pihu. I will manage but at what time you will be returning home?

Pihu: ma, I will return home around 10’o clock. But if I didn’t like the movie I will return back earlier.

Pihu’s mom: will you return home alone?

Pihu: no ma. Abhishek will come with me.

Pihu’s mom: ok Pihu. Take care of yourself. It’s the first time you are going for a movie without your family.

Pihu: yes. But mom if you wish you can also join with us.

Pihu’s mom: Smiled at Pihu. It’s your day Pihu. Just enjoy.

Pihu: thank you mom.

Pihu, at the Theatre

Pihu: Clara, where is reena?

Clara: she is buying tickets for us. See there. She is standing near the ticket counter.

Pihu: where is abhishek?

Clara: he will come within 10 minutes.

Pihu: ok Clara.

Clara: hey, look at there.

Pihu: abhishek came near to them and smiled at Pihu.

Clara. As Clara said the movie is about to begin in a few minutes, they all went inside the hall.

They saw reena is already sitting in a chair. She called abhishek and others to come by her side. When they moved towards reena she asked abhishek to sit next to her. So he sits near to reena but he looked at Pihu. He wants to see Pihu’s reaction. When Pihu tries to move away from them reena asked Pihu to sit on the other side of abhishek. So abhishek sits in the middle. Reena and Pihu sits on either side of abhishek.

The movie begins. After an hour, Pihu noticed reena’s head tilted towards the shoulders of abhishek. Pihu didn’t know what abhishek is thinking now. Though she know that reena is in love with abhishek, she is feeling irritated now. So she decided to return home during intermission. She waited patiently. Within 15 minutes, Pihu noticed the words intermission in the screen.

The people around them went outside. So Pihu thinks this would be the right time. She said, girls I am going to leave now.

Preethi: Pihu, what happened?

Clara: Pihu, please don’t go now.

Reena: why Pihu? Is there any issues?

Pihu: chill girls. There is nothing to be worried. You all know already that I have no interest to watch movies. I have come here just to spend time with you all. My mom will be alone in the home. So I should go now.

Clara: but what about the movie? How can you go in the middle of a movie?

Pihu: Don’t worry Clara. You tell me the rest of the movie tomorrow in the college.

So her friends said ok, bye Pihu. Abhishek will come with you.

Reena: reena said abhishek come quick. I’ll be waiting for you.

Abhishek: ok reena.

Pihu: Pihu noticed that abhishek was not happy. Abhishek is driving the car. Pihu remains quiet.

Abhishek: Pihu I am really sorry for reena’s behavior in the theatre.

Pihu: I already know that she will behave like this.

Abhishek: sorry, I’ll tell reena about our love.

Pihu: abhishek, still I didn’t accept your love.

Abhishek: he smiled at Pihu. You will accept my proposal Pihu. I know about your feelings.

There was silence between them for a minute.

Abhishek: Pihu, share your feelings with me. Don’t worry about anyone. I will take care of you.

Pihu: she smiled at abhishek. The car has been stopped.

Abhishek: Now we have reached your home. Bye. See you tomorrow in the college.

Pihu: thank you abhishek. Bye

Pihu went near the main door of her home. She didn’t want to disturb her mom. She had another door key. Pihu was about to open the main door. Then she saw a bunch of flowers near the door with a sticky note. Pihu got surprised. She knew that abhishek did not buy those flowers. So Pihu opened the sticky note above the flowers. There she found “to my princess, Pihu” I love you”.
November 26, 2016
Attached at The Heart

Love can happen many times with different persons. True love happens many times but with the same person. Adrian, agonised by the breakup he recently initiated, tries to reconcile things with his girlfriend because he too fell in love many times with the same girl.

“There are no perfect couples. Need I say again? No couples are perfect.” Derek tried to put some sense in my head about my break-up with Mellisa.

“But this ain’t about perfection buddy. She felt she was no more compatible with me. It was her choice.” I told him rising angrily from the chair.

“Are you not sorry about this Adrian? After all the good times you guys had together, don’t you think it is immoral to leave her?”

“Will you please shut that bloody words spilling from your mouth Derek! Don’t you dare tell me what is right and wrong and what is moral and immoral.” I blurted out in a fury and regretted immediately. Derek was my best friend. As a child, it was his name I learnt prior to mine. And damn me for using filthy words at him.

As I turned at him with an apologetic look, he was already staring at me with a smile that beautifully hid his hurt. If there was a single person under the sun who’d never judge me, it was Derek.

“So what’s up with that new girl you met on web? Positive?” he asked to lighten the chaotic situation I just created.

“Yup! She is kind of interested in me, and so am I. We have planned to go on a date tomorrow. There must be something that will make me want to cling to her. I’ve got to figure it out.”

“Don’t mess it up this time buddy” he whispered and lit a cigarette as we walked towards the car.

I took a table in the corner. This is one of the restaurants I love to visit when I have none to accompany. It was not the cuisine but the ambience here that captivates me. The restaurant was on the sea shore that wasn’t cluttered with swimmers, walkers, dogs or other signs of life. But today I’m not alone. My new girlfriend Elena promised me for a date.

As I waited for her, a girl with dark brown hair and red lips butted my thoughts as usual.

Yeah, it was Mellisa, my ex-girlfriend. All these days I have warned my mind to reject her thoughts but it never seemed to oblige with me.

Damn her! I’m technically dating another girl, yet in reality Mellisa’s thoughts seem to date me.

Trying to clear off her thoughts, which evidently never bugged off, I patiently waited for my new girlfriend. She was already late by one hour. Her absence raced my thoughts back to Mellisa, in spite of the strong diversions I tried and failed to create.

My first date with Mellisa flashed like a lightening on a stormy night. She was keen on keeping her word. That evening of our first date, I found her sitting serenely at the table waiting for me, while I was as usual late. She wasn’t sitting idle or wasn’t throwing envious looks at the beautiful girls around, but she seemed lost in the book she was reading.

“I’ve been so caught up in the work and lost track of time. Sorry for the delay.” I told her and gave a brief hug.

“Never mind. I’m with my bestie, so didn’t realize your delay” she said waving the book in the air and smiling. Oh gosh! Her smile. It was more beautiful than the pay check I just received. I fell for her smile.

‘What are you reading?’ has introduced me to many of my favorite books and favorite people. I asked her the same and she showed me the book briefing up what the book was about. I was so lost in staring at the seductive way her eyes rolled and the manner she waved her hands that I could hardly hear what she told. By the time she finished, I was clueless of what she told. Thank my stars! She made no discussion on what she just explained.

A loud ring on my phone brought me back from my reverie. It was Elena, my new girlfriend on phone informing that the traffic was heavy and it would take 20 minutes to reach there, Clueless of how to vile away the time, I resumed my thoughts back to Mellisa. This time I did not fight to shun them, because I know I would definitely fail.

My first date with Mel had no elements of romance unlike the romantic dates shown in movies and books.

We talked about the things people tend to avoid when they’re trying to make a good impression: hopes subverted by mistakes, relationships sabotaged by shortcomings. The conversation ranged organically from books and theatre to politics and our personal histories. She seemed to have a clear opinion on everything she spoke. I can’t endorse the idea of ‘Love at first sight’ or ‘Love at first date’. But maybe there are moments when God or fate or some cosmic sense of humor rolls its eyes at two stammering human hearts and says,” Here you go. This is called love!”

Yes, this is called love. I heard my heart whisper, ‘Mel, I love you, I still love you.’ She had such a tremendous influence on me that even her memories are enough to elevate or depress my mood.

Elena rushed in through the door way and walked hurriedly towards me. We hugged each other and reclined back.

“That was a deadly traffic. It took me forever to reach here.” Elena said taking my hand into hers. As she did so I noticed her appearance. Her dark black eyes are larger than Mellisa’s and her smile was prettier than Mellisa’s. As she sat down her short, skimpy dress travelled inches above the knees revealing her skin boldly, just enough to grab the audience. Mellisa never dressed so boldly. Hell, why am I still thinking of her, when my new beautiful girlfriend is right in front. My eyes adored Elena’s beauty, but my heart still strongly considered Mellisa is the beautiful girl in the world. I’m falling in love with Mel again. The bitter fact was that I never ceased loving her, I only ceased admitting it. Yes, Mel was all I want, she was all I love.

Watching my confused expressions Elena became slightly uncomfortable.

“You look dull Adrian?” She asked.

“Agonizingly dull, but don’t worry.”I said.

Sliding her fingers through mine she said, “You can’t be dull when you’re on a date with a girl like me. May be one day you’ll remember how to have fun.”

“May be one day you’ll forget.” I said, releasing my fingers and walked away towards the exit leaving Elena behind.

Turning left into the steepy descending side street, I drove towards my house. I suddenly became aware of how my descent into this road, mirrored that sinking feeling my emotions were heaving with, after the breakup. As I pulled the car into the parking lot it started drizzling. I rushed inside the house with my heart still heavy of Mel’s thoughts. I didn’t care to kick off my shoes and remove my coat. I sat on the couch for hours together without any movement. I got up. I opened the curtains. Turned on the lights. Outside there was a heavy downpour. I thought about her again. It’s never too late to admit one’s mistake. In fact, failure is the essence of success. I thought about it through. Am I lonely or am I in love? The catacomb-like feeling lifted. My brain breathed. I sighed heavily. What was that I want? As if I knew the answer I pulled out the phone and dialed to Derek.

“Hello,” I heard Derek’s sleepy voice.

“I know it’s silly on my part to ask this, Are you asleep?” I asked.

“I was asleep till now. I’m not asleep now. So tell me is it about the date with Elena?”

“It didn’t really go well Derek. And I’m glad about it. You know, my meeting with Elena made me realize what I really want and who I really want. Simply put, I’m pretty sure that I still love Mel and I’m going to her place now.”

“It’s half past 12 in the midnight man. I don’t think it’s ideal to meet her now.”

“I know, but I have no choice. I can’t go even a minute with this heavy heart. I’m going to reconcile things with Mel.

“Don’t be hasty Adrian. She is not that easy to get and don’t forget there’s just no way she’s going to accept less. But give it a try man. It’s worth it.”

It was raining heavily. I came out of the flat and drove towards Mel’s place.

I know right now she might be asleep with a child like calmness on her face which I always loved to stare at. This stormy night reminded me of the best day of my life. The day I gave her the first kiss was when it was raining. I still remember how I had pulled her away from her friends to a more secret space. It was the most wonderful day of my life – standing in front of the girl I loved, and dreaming of spending the rest of my life with her.

I reached her placed. It seemed so familiar. I stood in front of her door. Bringing all the lost courage, I rang the door bell. The door opened almost immediately and there stood my girl who I hurt and abandoned a couple of months ago. That very moment I wanted to have her in my arms and tell how much I missed her. But I fought that urge, as I didn’t want to mess up things again.

We sat in the hall way. So far neither of us spoke a single word. I picked up the courage again.

“Mel…”

“Adrian, if you want to talk about our relationship, I’m sorry, I don’t want to give an ear to that.”

Mel wasn’t typical. She never did anything keeping her self-respect at stake. Yes, I hurt her self-respect. I now regret that.”

“Mel, please try to understand. I owe you an apology for all the bad times you had because of me. I miss you. I don’t like my house. It is vacant without you. Your absence is echoed in every single corner of every single room. I’m not happy anymore. I miss those happy nights where we cuddled each other and slept long peaceful nights. It’s hard for me to manage myself; you apparently know everything about me. In fact, more than I do know about myself. Every single part of me loves you more than I admit.”

“It’s not love Adrian. It’s called need. I was there for you when you needed the most, and you took me for granted. I held your back during failures and you took me for granted. Even though you knew I hated sleeping on my own, many nights you never came home and took me for granted. I’m done with all that stupid stuff. I’m not a stupid to let you break down my walls again.”

“No Mel, you are not stupid. If there is anyone stupid in this room, it’s me. If my stupidity were laser beams, the ground would be scorched.” My voice began cracking and I stared at Mel with moist eyes who was already in sobs. I hate seeing her cry. Even at this stern situation, I can’t help but stare at her captivative eyes. “I never forgot you Mel. You were always in my thoughts. I tried to ignore that gaping hole that tried to threaten to swallow me, whenever your thoughts hit me. I still have your number. Not that I need it, but I’d never forget it.”

I went close to her. Took her hands into mine. She didn’t seem to take back. Holding her face in my arms I told, “Mel, I terribly missed you. Your smiles seem to be in every painting hanging on our walls. I miss, how, in the mornings, your smile caressed my ears, nape of my neck and now I hate to think where the smile has gone.”

“I missed you too Adrian.” She hugged me, which was what I was hungrily craving for. “I’m just hurt by the way you treated me.”

“I promise to never let that happen again sweetheart. I shall never let you feel low and lone. Are you not the best thing ever happened to me? How can I lose you again.” I said these words without releasing the hug.

“Mel, I love you. Do you still love me?”

“I do.” Mel replied with her sweet smile that easily took my breath away.

“Mel, shall I say you something?”

“Yeah”

“If I could sit on the porch with God, the first thing I would do is, thank him for you.”

November 24, 2016
A Conversation to Soothe

A sister goes on to soothe the confusions of her brother about life and his thoughts, soothing the lad in a faraway land!!

Early in the morning when I was just going to start my day my phone rang. I went in a rush to pick up the call to find that it is from my brother in the far away land of USA. The moment I picked up the phone all my laziness went just as a sudden shock, when I realized that he was crying. In a faraway land he was feeling all alone and before going to bed he just felt the urge to talk to me. I was the only one to whom he gets open up to and today also was just a same day of outburst but what made me feel bad was the distance of him. I felt too helpless, he was just going on saying things I never imagined will happen and today I was on phone listening that they already happened. He was saying about his friends, “Today Ayan came and asked me not to talk to him ever after as he is now friends with the most influential person over here, who is actually a bully and used to hit others; however he is treated as the God father of everyone going anywhere and because of him today I don’t have any friends.”

I was listening and then I just asked, “Is he so bad to mingle with? I mean, how cam you not be a friend with him as then you will not feel isolated!”

He burst into tears and kept on saying, “That is my problem! Why I am born like this! As I know that he bullies others, I can never accept him as a good person even then how can I accept his favours! People whom I perceive as bad, they turn out to be good to some or is it that I am perceiving people in a wrong manner! I am confused didi. I miss you.”

I was feeling like crying then and there but I just was keeping myself composed and trying to remain as cool and calm as possible.

I sensed he wants to listen to me and understand an clear his confusion rather than wanting me to just hear him,

“See, dear, if I say, I want to call the wall in front of me as table and the table in front of me as wall, then what will happen!

There is actually no difference but it will just create a lot of confusion in understanding and communicating with people in the world. Again my problem is, though I am thinking to do this, yet surprisingly whenever I see the wall, the word table doesn’t come in my mind. There is no ratiocination as to why I should say this barrier of bricks as a wall and why this supporter of wood as a table. But I can’t keep myself from saying the same words to address them.

Sometimes I feel to rebuke, to hurt them who hurt me; my thought is obviously something quite well reasoned. But my conscience says it as a bad thing to do. Though I have reasonable facts to support my consideration as right thing yet I can’t believe it to be! Perhaps I don’t dare to go against the orthodoxies conveyed to me by time.

That is how is the case with you and the rest of the people you are narrating. You have taken it in your lessons as to be self-reliant and accept whatever your ability brings you, but not all are made the same way. Sometimes results weigh over the journey or the path and people who have been trained that way take no problem in accepting the results without bothering about the path, but our grooming will not allow us to do so however much we may try!

Things seem like a parallax. The way something, we call a particle can show a wavy nature under certain circumstances, I think, it might be showing some other behaviour seen from a different angle in which it is not seen yet. I’m not a scientist even to do so! But often I find darkness as the representative of an empty space devoid of light. Devoid of any colour is black. But how come so? When the place is not consisting of any colour how then it can be called as black colour! That is again a confusion, isn’t it!”

I was hearing his sobs turning into “hmm-hmm-hmm” and I was feeling his transformation towards calmness.

“Black colour doesn’t anymore keep the place empty and so does darkness.

The combination of all the colours gets converted to white colour of light that in turn makes the things in front of us visible. The medium seems not to have any obstruction and thus is a void. But how void is the combination of all the colours in the world! We are taught black is devoid of any colour but it gives sense to a colour yet we believe what we are taught to believe. The same way it is for the colour white.

The consideration of good and bad follows the same root. We continue analysis on self realisation, lectures on consideration of an action but the real thing is everything is the same as black and white; particle and wave; discrete as well as continuous. The real process is the game of the position of our eyes and that of the object. A dot seen from top is discrete but horizontally it seems to be a line.

Destination of life is just a point when seen from the top but it takes the entire life to be there. The journey of life is like that line. A particle showing the nature of wave as the crests and troughs of life. Future is just a point but past is that line and present is the connecting thread of understanding of that concept.

What we see is what we are taught to see and what we are expected by the mass to see. But there is often (in fact always) something beyond the mere sight displayed; just like black and the darkness beyond the void and transparency in white light.

Our consciousness is owned by our society and ancestors. We don’t believe thing rather we are made to. The lessons are so inculcated in our nerves that no logic can bring them out. Logical analysis will only make us believe what we believed is always true. In fact logics are even taken into consideration to make us sympathise with ourselves for we ought to have faith on the system of our reliance.

Consciousness and conscience are biased by the same system by which our cultures are. We show pity on certain creatures but not all.

What is the fault of the creatures unable to experience our kindness is though unknown to us. The Hindus don’t eat beef but can have mutton and chicken, Muslims don’t eat pork but are carnivorous for all other animals. Both have the debate to justify their religious practice. But definitely it is never admissible that a group of the same human race don’t eat pork and another group don’t eat beef. But beliefs are made to be proved by logic and no logic can counter a belief. That’s what the things are; quite round in nature just like the cosmos.

Moving round and round they will move on the entire ground. So, just be your way and the world will fall into place. Never get confused about you existence, your essence, though you can and should always question your beliefs to refine yourself!

He just said, “Yes didi, and for me you are my panacea to clear all my confusion and soothe my unrest. Now you go for the college and I will go to sleep. Good night…”

I replied him with happiness to sleep. His smile and the calmness in his voice made my day!!

Image Source : pixabay.com

November 24, 2016
‘बच्ची’ हादसे में घायल बच्ची …

‘बच्ची’ हादसे में घायल बच्ची , इलाज के बाद जब घर पहुंची तो वह युवा हो चुकी थी।
~ KP Saxena

November 23, 2016