Often questioned by the society as to how to behave and how to live, Sarah doubts her own attitude and beliefs… That is where Anita steps in to define where do humans belong to!!
The D.J. was playing the music and people were in a complete party mood. Mugs of beer and bottles of vodka were being emptied in the zeal of competition. Sarah, a girl in her early twenties, went to the bar to ask for a drink and suddenly found someone’s hand on her back. She turned around to find Rahul. Rahul was a bit surprised as his looks said, and he went to say, “Well, are you alright?” Sarah simply replied, “Yes.” Rahul then asked again, “Well, Don’t mind, but I never have seen you taking more than two drinks, so asked whether you are okay or not! But a girl like you, so sober, should keep in control as you may get a bad habit of this!” Sarah just gave an annoyed look and said, “Well, I am completely under my control. You can go and party, no need to be worried for me.” Then Rahul ordered for a vodka and said that he went to take his drink and got astonished to find Sarah over there. Sarah became a bit conscious to hear that and she went taking her drink. Though she didn’t take any more or danced thereafter.
The night was getting darker and darker and Sarah was being even more thoughtful. She was quite sceptical as to what describes a girl to be sober, is it not drinking or dancing or something else!
Her feelings were growing stronger with the time passing by and the effect of alcohol getting her under control, and she just kept on thinking and reiterating her thoughts. She found Anita her best friend and asked her to stay with her. They reached home and Sarah just was sitting in her bed looking at the moon-lit night. Anita jokingly asked her, “missing someone or in his dreams!!” Sarah then sitting in the same pose went on explaining her the entire saga of events that unfolded that evening, how Rahul went to her and said that drinking is not expected from sober girls and he was astonished. Then Anita, in her calm and composed style said to her, “You know what Sarah, “In the universe, where do I stand?”, a very obvious question that I often ask myself. And the most expected answer, “On the earth beneath my foot.” Yes, that’s what it is! But what is my position in the billions of people in the world! Where am I? What is the foundation to justify my existence! Is it anything that I have? Do I have some respect from the people in my surrounding? Is that my self esteem or my social dignity dignifying my identity? Am I really cared?
At that very moment I ask myself, how much of my time that I render respecting others; or in the pursuit of the dignity of the people around me! Do I really care what they do! Obviously not more that maximum a day! Then why do I think they render there time to thoughts of mine, of my position! How much worth is it on their part to do!
To be honest to myself, no worth it is. I am not that important than anybody else in their lives to be thought of. Then what’s the use of thinking about their reactions before doing a thing! Why do i decide my actions on the basis of their reactions; why restrict my flow of emotions on the thought of others’ response! Setting the principles, that I often violate and the set of thoughts of reincarnating a perfect being avoiding my mistakes which in turn help me to be swayed with the feelings to go beyond the confinements! Asking for freedom from others to follow my instincts yet binding myself in fetters to be approved by all! A game of hide and seek. Hiding my emotions from myself in the deepest corner of heart searching for them to come forward and be expressed.
My words or my get-up in a gathering is never a matter of discussion for more than just that night then why waste more days of my life seeking the choice of others in the society. Just to be appreciated by the mass for a night; why should I dress according to their will. My habits or else bad habits; wait a second; who is to decide whether my habit is a bad one or a good one; of course I am; then my habits need not be according to what others like or dislike. For it will be liked or be contemptible is always a matter of few moments; at the end it has to be accepted.
Being changed for appreciation; why do I need to be appreciated; because that feels good to stand unique among others; but why to be unique, why not be one in the mass; since we are all humans at the end; and there is no reason to justify. An action without justification is never welcomed so as to be practiced!
Whatever we do we first design a basic logic for why should we do it! But then at some moments I don’t find a reason to do whatever i have been doing for long! Whatever beliefs that I have cultivated till date about me!
Well, I appreciate myself. Everyone in the world does. But while seeking the reason for this appreciation I never find a thing. Too comic; isn’t it? People who underestimate themselves but don’t tolerate inferior treatment being done by others! Why?? Because they actually revere themselves as quite well estimated. But just play a game of this inferiority feeling.
In fact, all of us are playing a game. A game supported by a set of void things; well, that will only make a void, nothing else. Our lives are on the foundation of void. What a joke it is; unbelievable yet compelled I am to believe. We believe things, justify the beliefs we start to analyse with logics, but whatever may be the logic we still continue to believe what we previously did. Reforming our mind and being stubborn that whatever we believed is definitely right and well justified.
Do jobs to grab attention of the surrounding, pretend as if we are not tempted towards the attention of others. But most of our actions are lured by the magic of appreciation, the thought of being valued. We advocate that we are not affected by the approbation of ourselves. In the deepest corner lies the truth. While going even deeper there is nothing to be happy with the estimation of others. We are born as individual in the creation and will die the same way.
The journey from womb to tomb is a race. We tend to run with others, competing with them but we actually run alone.
Putting all others in the list of audience we keep running and seek the first position. But in our ignorance it is I alone in the race coming first that is equivalent to the last position. We keep trying to grab everything that makes us feel unique. The race is for individuality, seeking our originality. Dissatisfied with the position that we are given trying to be considered in the list of the important people; the list made by the people in the surrounding. We forget to value ourselves in the measures of our own. Where we stand!
Uniqueness is always there, it was always there. In the smallest possible form, in our DNA even, we are unique; different from all others. But yet the race always goes on. What else does that prove! What we want to prove is already proved there and we are only running after the void. The void in the thoughts, in the logic of our own!”
Then Anita looked at Sarah only to find that she is sleeping like a baby. Anita just went and kissed her in her forehead and wished a good night with peace in life. She was just going to sleep when she found out the time is 7 o’ clock in the morning and she had to call her home!!