When I picked up the clothes from the floor
To fill my suitcase, and emptying my soul.
Everytime rising my head, registering the colour of the walls
Happy with time and while cursing it more,
I am an adult now, I shouldn’t cry…
But what to do to with feelings in the core
I wasn’t able to figure out the sudden expansion
In the value of every inch of this house,
I wanted to keep every brick of this house in my bag…
But that was the price I was paying
For that DU tag
The house was filled with fragrance I miss
The fragrance I grudged earlier…
But now for me… is a bliss
How rigidly I was trying to ignore that how hard my mother was trying fix my things.
Because as strongly I wanted that attention…. I hated that too…
Now I know… now I know how hard it was for you mum…
To fight the ambiguity of your emotions…
And every time I was shouting at you
Because you didn’t want me to go…
But you yourself packed my things.
I know how hard you tried to make that meal tasty…
While helping your son who was hasty.
I never knew how you were so skilled
When the only thing you wanted was
To have your son’s stomach filled…
I never properly noticed the colour of your hand
Dried with time
Raged with its broken and sand
But that day I noticed…
The efforts imprinted on your palm
The efforts, tireless,
without any qualm.
Those milky white eyes…filled with those years of toiling
dream she had for me
and those dreams … I cant afford spoiling
unlike everytime… her eyes were giving confusing message
at one place she wanted me to stay
but at one place she wanted me to make through that way.
And my father… what should I say about him… (while smiling)
The heart of a man my father had
Never superseded by any possible fad
Was now soft and his eyes were moist,
He was happy and yet very gloomy and that was visible
Whatever emotion he tried hoist.
I wonder that
are those places going to be same
Those walls and gullies…I was tamed by or I tame
Will the chasm I created ever going to be seal
Or the roads are going to forget my name.
Well I know that I left some things behind…
And I know I will be filled with light….
Or I’ll turn blind.
but here’s the thing…
I left my home for something to get…
For the new life…and opportunities I met..
I know I cant repay my parents
But I can do justice with their blood and sweat
I stand here for the decisions I have made…
For letting things to rise… and somethings to fade
While running in life and completing one lap…
we tend to forget that
who were there to clap…
I remember that time I was about to leave…
The moment filled with tears… and lots of grief,
the eyes of my mum…twinkling because of the water they had
in the dim light….
I wasn’t able to look her like that.
She was watching a piece of her life gone…
To make a life …one of his own.
that ride as free man of house…never believe was the last
my capacity at present was going to be a past.
I remember how my father constantly eloped his glance
He treid to hide the salty water in his eyes
And thought he left no chance
That bag resting in the back seat was all that I had from my home
was all the home I was going to have
we reached the train and with an absolute movement…
train started to move slowly… just like my life,
slowly and slowly.