Category: Life

  • The Year That Is Mine

    The Year That Is Mine

    “Dare to love yourself

    as if you were a rainbow

    with gold at both ends.” 

    This is my story, your story and every that person’s story who has forgotten what it is like to make choices for yourself and feel the exuberance of living life the way they want to. 

    Am I being selfish, or am I being inconsiderate or am I just being me by trying to walk on a humble path of self discovery and self happiness ?

    _ _ _ _ _ 


    “New year, new me.”

    The most trending resolution hashtag on the social media every new year’s eve for almost past one decade.

     

    “Going to join the gym; #Newyearnewme”

    “Going to stop thinking about him; #Newyearnewme”

    “Going to stop spending on a whim; #Newyearnewme”

    and so on…….

     

    Every year starts with the same set of cliched resolutions which are long forgotten after the many wild new year’s parties which we had sworn to skip, come new year.

    However, we miraculously remember them in the last week of December which is then carried forward to the next year.

     

    We aspire to start the year differently and to live it even more differently which basically is our version of living like our favourite “fit” celebrity who inspires us to eat healthy #healthylivng #newyearnewme

    We also commit to giving all our time to our parents and partners and to catching up with old friends because that is what new year is all about, isn’t it ?

    But what we fail to realise is that with each step we take towards that becoming our favourite celebrities’ mini-me or in becoming the ideal daughter/partner/friend we are, bit by bit, losing ourself and our send of individuality.

    We are hellbent on sacrificing our comforts and needs to satisfy our beloveds’ because what’s better than being the reason behind their 32 watt smile, right?

    And anyway, there’s no harm in hitting the gym to accompany your best friend who wants to lose 20 kilos before her cousin’s wedding later that year. A little inconvenience never hurt anybody (At least i’ll stay in shape).

     

    We are all for the team, always up for selfless acts, a hundred percent people pleaser. But ever wondered what it would be like to be a minimum of one percent selfish, take a backseat from pleasing everyone and just do what actually makes US happy.

    Why not, instead of indulging ourselves in activities and plans we have no intentions of doing wholeheartedly, we, for once, make it about ourselves and a become a teensy bit selfish.

     

    Now, Oxford dictionary defines this two syllable word as “lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal pleasure.”

    This definition gives a sense of negativity and surrounds the ‘selfish being’ with a negative aura, but what I fail to understand is that since when did being selfish, or as the definition says, being concerned with own’s personal pleasure become derogatory, leaving people to question and judge a person’s character based on this said trait.

     

    So, I’ve decided to choose my needs, my comforts over others. I’ve chosen to be selfish.

     

    I refuse to pay heed to what everyone and anyone says and and do what i see fit because this year i choose to be selfish.

    I am going to hit the gym, not everyday, not every week and maybe not even every month. But one day, the day i’ll want to burn the guilt of consuming those extra calories after hogging on the extra large cheese pizza.

     

    I will stop chasing the guy who only has time for negligible responses like ‘hmmm’s and ‘K’s. My pillow is done being the canvas to my tears and it’s time it paints some new dreams.

     

    Oops! I said something I wasn’t supposed to. Should I go and apologise or should I own it and move on ?
    I pick the latter.

     

    Oh Lord! I’m a twenty year old Indian girl all set to entertain the numerous rishtas my aunties are sending. But guess what, I prefer to travel the world alone.

     

    Oh Lord! I’m married and a mother of two. But guess what, I’m an amateur bike gang member too.

    I finally decided to get that meaningless tattoo I’ve always wanted and even made up my mind to dye my hair rainbow because I’ve been one in someone else’s cloud.

     

    I’d rather learn from my own mistakes than the shallow preachings of others.

    This year will be filled with echoes of laughter and blossoming friendships. With new experiences and memories. This year I will write my story, the story of the ‘selfish li’l brat’ because I chose to make it mine.

  • A letter to myself this New Year

    A letter to myself this New Year

    2016 was a year as the others, a mixed bag of lessons,  smiles,  tears,  love.  So here is a letter from the old me to the new me reminding her of the lessons learnt,  the things lost, and the encouragement to move on.  

    Dear the 2016 2017 me,

    Oops! Sorry. Please don’t let that make you feel that you are any less welcome. It’s just that 2016 felt so long and never ending, that towards the end I had finally started accepting it and to be frank it felt quite homely. But enough about it; you certainly have no idea how eagerly I had been waiting for you. There were times I felt I could not just make it may be. But here we are! And in case no one told you, just know darling that I’m really proud of you.

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not really expecting you to be a whole new person, or an astronaut or an entrepreneur! I know a new year is basically just a change of date and things are more or less just the same. But, more than anyone I know that you have grown up in this last year and I’m happy just for that. I know that someday in the future when you will look back at me, you’ll be proud that I happened! And maybe you will be able to connect the dots then. So in this letter I would just like to remind you of a few things…..

    Firstly, you must have been wondering why I spoke of growing up!   (You’re still 5’1. And stuck in the same place. Duh!) But honey the growth graph expands both vertically and horizontally. May be professionally you didn’t achieve much. But you grew up as a person. I know people can’t see it on the outside but I know of the revolt that has been taking place inside you; the little flame that you finally managed to ignite. I know how you have been nurturing it secretly. It feels good doesn’t it? The warmth in the cold heart after a long time? It’s your Deluminator. Remember the one Dumbledore left for Ron? And remember what he said?

    “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the Light!”

    This flame shall be your Light. And it will guide you home. Back to yourself.

    I hope you won’t be as afraid to be close to people as I am now. I hope you are not as afraid of love as I am now. Darling don’t be afraid to fall in love this year. Love doesn’t hurt. Trying to fit yourself into someone’s life at the wrong position does. So go ahead give love a few more chances. If not anything else, we will just end up with a few more characters to write stories about! What say? So can we strike a deal? But I have condition.

    ‘Love yourself a bit more.’

    Stop craving for attention from people. Just sit silently sometimes. Try listening to what your inner self says. It really has been craving for your attention for quite some time now. It needs you more. Pamper yourself. Go out for the trips you planned. Walk on unknown lanes. She was there for you on those nights, remember? She needs you now. Have that extra piece of chocolate. Wear that black dress. You’ll have a whole new friend, you!

    And here is a pinch of reality. People don’t care sweetheart. Stop bothering them with the crazy thoughts you have. But take it positively, maybe they too are busy sorting themselves out! But you don’t be one of them. Ok? Be there when someone needs you. Don’t advice. Just listen to them. That’ll be enough. I promise. But let me tell you a secret, there will always be help, ready whenever you need. All you have to do is just ask! People aren’t bad. No one is. We just meet them at the wrong time or at the wrong place. So if someone asks you not to cross oceans for people, just smile and walk. You know what? Cross oceans for them. Show them that magic exists and people don’t always ping when they need you. Show them that ‘good’ people exist. Be the ‘good’ for them.

    Oh people!? I know what is going on in your mind. You left quite few of them back? I know. And I’m proud of you for that. I know it was tough and leaving them back in no way means you care less about them. But darling, some doors should be closed not because of ego, hurt or misunderstandings but because, they keep pulling you to the same place, diminishing hopes of progress. I would have loved them to be with you now, but I’m proud of the fact that you took a decision; for once, you cared about yourself. You took that leap of faith and bid people a goodbye. I don’t know if they are going to make it to your future, but if they don’t, well it means your story was meant to intersect till here! Walk away, filled with memories, smile for having met. If they do, embrace them again, for once they made you smile. And take care of your parents. Will you? Their world is woven around you. They deserve your time.

    So, I won’t ask you to be cautious and alert. I’d say live freely. Use opportunities, make friends, listen to people. Just don’t be calculative in relations. You’ll probably never be able to figure life. So why not cherish this moment. But all this in no way mean that you’ll leave your home, job and go chasing wild goose. It means that find the joy in little things of everyday life. Read books. Drink coffee. Stay up late taking to that anxious friend. Don’t be afraid to hit the bottom. The world looks very different from down here. It has its own beauty. But so does the world when seen from high up. So spread your wings. Fly. If there is no one standing with you, be your own hero. Wear the cape. Trust yourself. And yes Hakuna Matata  J.

     

    With love,

    The 2016 me.

  • The love that wasn’t expressed

    The love that wasn’t expressed

    A teenage boy develops a misunderstanding that he lacks love in his life, give into bad habits but improve upon them with family’s support.

     

    The story is about two decades ago. There was a boy named Sumit who lived in Haryana. It was his hometown. He lived in a joint family. Two uncles, aunts, their two sons and one daughter, her grandparents and his parents lived with him in that huge family. He was a simple boy who lacked love in his life according to him though it wasn’t true. His parents didn’t have enough time to spend with him since they were part of their family business. His parents used to work in order to earn money to secure their family’s future.

    He remembered his grandmother telling him how he was brought up by her. But she couldn’t spend time with him as she had to look after other children of the family as well. As he grew up and went to school to study, he was called a brilliant child. He was good academically as well as in extra curricular activities. Whether it was some arts competition or sports activities, he was equally strong in it. His cousins also studied in the same school. His aunts were jealous of him bringing laurels since their children were average students. They didn’t allow him to play with his cousins much. They were jealous of his parents as well since they earned for the family & were given more preference than them by their parents.

    In that surrounding, there were people but none to understand him. He had all kinds of toys but nobody to play with him. He had lots of things to share but none to listen to him and spend time with him. When he used to see his classmates accompanied by their parents in the P.T.M. or some functions, he used to get upset since he was mostly left all alone. And that made him really sad. He felt like he was all alone in his struggling life. He wanted to do something about it because he couldn’t continue his life like that.

    When he turned fifteen, he went through some teenage behavioral changes. He started isolating himself from his classmates. His interest towards studies deteriorated. His performance became that of an average student. He gradually became part of the gang of bad boys.

    When his academic performance deteriorated, he was asked for it’s reason. He didn’t discuss about it with anyone.

    That stress had made him restless. He couldn’t discuss it with anyone because of his weak bond with his family members.

    In his school, he started sitting alone thinking deeply about what he can do to avoid his problems. Those bad boys started taking deep interest in his life. The reason was that they knew that he had money to spend on them. He felt a little lighter while sharing his deepest secrets to them. They consoled him and told him to give the solution to his problem.

    They told about how each of them was undergoing with a similar problem. There were few seniors who helped them sort out this problem. They introduced him with drugs. He was not acquainted with how unhealthy they can become. First time, he tried due to peer pressure. It gave him some relief from the problems & situations he was going through. It was like a mental trauma to him. He started having it regularly. Those boys used to get extra money from him for his drugs as well as their own needs. Nobody actually knew what was actually happening within the school boundary. The seniors used to get the drugs supplied from some smuggler and distribute it to the students who needed in the backyard of the school’s main building.

    Days passed in this way. Sumit felt better with drugs. And he hadn’t yet realized how badly he needed it. Six months passed. Once her mother was looking for her important document in her whole room, she saw the packets with white powder in Sumit’s bag while he had gone for the tuitions. She took one out, teared it to check what was that and found that they were drugs. Was it true what she was thinking in her mind? She broke out. Being a mother, she had the responsibility to express her love and emotions to her son. But that love remained unexpressed. And that was her fault. Lack of time and the weak bond between Sumit and his family led to such a consequence. She called his husband and told everything to him. When he was a back to his home, he was asked about all that.

    He cried and told about how lonely he used to feel. He tried to talk about this but no one listened.

    They informed about this to the school authorities. The seniors were handled by the policemen. And the innocent students of Sumit’s class and he was left for the action of their family. His parents send him to rehabilitation center to get rid of what he was caught into.  It wasn’t easy to do that. But he came back as a person devoid of all the weaknesses of his life. He got admission in IIT-Delhi on the basis of his academic performance. He shares his story with everyone now and realized that love is not just felt by touching or physical appearance. It is even felt when you really care and believe in others. Now he has this opinion and he loves his life more than he ever did. He spends time with underprivileged children and the orphans and shares his love with those who really need it.

  • The Gift of Christmas

    The Gift of Christmas

    This is a story of twelve-year-old old Ryan, who has a Christmas to remember.

     

    The quaint, little bookshop was exuding the festive warmth. The smell of coffee and plum cakes wafted through the evening air. There were tea-lights kept at every shelf. The place was beautifully lit-up. Ryan pushed open the glass door of the shop and, for a moment, was left admiring the Christmas décor of the shop. His cherished book store took a beautiful turn around this time every year. It was his favourite time of the year as well- the nip in the air, the happy faces of people around, the Christmas vacation at school, and the prospect of beginning afresh in the soon-to-dawn new year pleased him.

    He stepped inside, put his bag in the rack, and walked straight up to the shelf containing his much-loved, Roald Dahl books.

    He had been saving his pocket money to buy Christmas presents for himself. He had even made a list of the books he badly wanted to read since summer. He had read a snippet of one of Roald Dahl’s stories in his English textbook, and had wanted to read all his work since then. After purchasing those long-desired novels, he placed the stack carefully in his bag and left for home.

    On reaching home, as he placed the books on his table, his mother peeped inside the room and asked him to come and have hot chocolate with the others. He decided to admire the books at night and excitedly went downstairs. He lived in a small house with his parents, an elder brother and grandparents. He shared his room with his brother upstairs- that was once an attic. They lived on a meagre income and both his parents worked hard to make both ends meet. His elder brother, Joe, was still in high school. As he sat sipping the hot chocolate drink, he elatedly told his family about what he got himself for Christmas. He ran into the kitchen and asked his mother about what she was planning to get for his grandparents. She smiled kindly and disclosed that there would be no gifts for anyone this year, as they were running short of money. He went and sat in the living room, enjoying the hot drink and cookies with the rest of the family, but couldn’t stop thinking about what his mother had just told him.

    That night he kept looking at his new books on the table. He had no more pocket money left.

    After a restless night, he woke up early next day and helped his mother with the chores. He told her he was going to be out in the afternoon.

    It was Christmas Eve and the small house was decorated to fit the season. There were a few special dishes to be prepared for Christmas day. The smell of cookies and cakes filled the house. As the family left for church, Ryan informed them that he would take a few more minutes to get ready and asked them all to carry on. When the family woke up the next day, they were pleasantly surprised to find beautifully-wrapped packaged beside each of them. There was a beautiful key-chain for his brother, a gorgeous scarf for grandma, a muffler for grandpa, a pen stand for his papa, and a pretty, little purse for his mother. Everyone gathered in the hall room with their gifts, Ryan was in smiles. He had returned all of his new books and bought gifts for all of them.

    He had realised that Christmas was all about giving, caring and sharing.

    Later in the evening, the family collected whatever little money was there to spare, and secretly fetched Ryan one of those books he had returned to the bookshop, which he found under his pillow at bedtime. His happiness knew no bounds. It was truly a merry Christmas for them all.

  • THE TSUNAMI WARRIOR

    THE TSUNAMI WARRIOR

     

    The lone doctor on a remote inhabited island of Andaman Islands,  doomed by the cataclysmal Tsunami. Is he able to save himself,  his family & the village? Let’s see a real life story which will excite you with shock & awe more than the movie Airlift.

     

    The disastrous Tsunami of December 2004 originated in Indian Ocean & caused great destruction of life & property in Indonesia, Thailand, Myanmar, as far as Madagascar & also in Indian territories of Tamilnadu & the beautiful islands of Andaman & Nicobar. Have you ever listened to a real life experience of a Tsunami survivor, more appropriately the Tsunami Warrior.

    A qualified Doctor,an orthopaedician,  Dr Anuranjan from Jashpur,Chhattisgarh  has went to serve on a remote island in North Andamanas,  where he is unfortunately doomed to face the monstrous Tsunamiiii. Not just he faces it,  he fights it, keeping the villagers safe & works for the reconstruction after the total devastation. His story inspires bravery, sparks emotions & underlines the importance of small things which can have a great impact on life.

     

    It all started with strong earthquakes.  For a man who has never experienced a quake,  he realises he was rolling on the ground after he fell from his bed in the early morning.

    At the sametime,  it was like Big 40,000 Volt Sound Speakers had been placed just outside his home & they which were making frightening booming sounds.

    Then his family was taken out by the locals & they could see great waves as high as a 50-storey building was racing towards them from sea. Dr Anuranjan put his family on a pickup-van to be taken to the heights on the hills to be saved & he himself went to save other people. As the waves came people were still running towards the heights, he saw his close ones getting engulfed by the waves.  On the heights, villagers were happy to see the doctor alive.

    He was still searching for his family,  after half an hour he sees the same pickup-van carrying his family lying upside down destroyed by the waves.!!!  What a moment of grief it was! His mind simply drew blank,  he couldn’t think of anything….. People also didn’t know of anything…. He was almost gone mad…..!!!!

    But fortunately a man came running & announced that the family of all the officers & the doctor were safe in the guest house on the mountain. After a few moment,  he was almost like back to life.

     

    Thereafter,  Food scarcity followed,  for days before the rescue actually arrived. Amid that scarcity there came a moment, when Dr Anuranjan was going to feed his child with the milk dissolved with Milk Powder,  he had almost put the milk into the child’s mouth before someone cried that the the white packet that was dissolved in the milk was that of deadly DDT & not milk powder!!!! (everything was so mixed up in the post disaster environment).  A current of shock passed through his hand & he threw the milk away. His own child was just about to die,  not by tsunami,  but with his own hands –  Could you survive the guilt throughout your life if you child would die like this!??

    Thereafter, his family went but he stayed, fighting for the reconstruction of the island and its inhabitants. There was enough supplies of food,  water & other necessary items due to disaster aid,  but ensuring an equal & just distribution was an important task and can be undertaken only by a person well aware  the local conditions & the people,  which he effectively did. There were scuffles with the bossy officials from outside who came just then & tried to control everything. But finally things were going smooth.

    He was the real life Akshay Kumar of Airlift,of the island,  of not just the rescue but also the Renaissance.

  • When Distance Changes

    When Distance Changes

    The story is of two childhood friends who are separated by distance. Will they be friends again?

     

     

    Vibhav gazed at the clear azure sky, letting his mind wander through the memory lanes. The balmy wind somewhat soothed his outer self while his inner one battling a long subdued storm. Vibhav somewhat knew that this thing was about to happen but he was too arrogant to confess it. ’A friendship of eight years is not easy to break,’ he always thought.

    It had been almost eight years when he first met Parth, a lad of ten, the same age as him with a sparkle in his eyes. The day seemed as if it had been just yesterday and today, here they were at crossroads.

    The family had just moved in to the new place much to his disappointment. He missed the old apartment and the congenial neighbours. Everything in the new place seemed cold and unconcerned. In this new environment Parth came as ray of hope, a source for new beginnings, from the blue. Vibhav was returning from school after a monotonous day. Just then, a football hit him directly on his face leaving him hurt and furious.

    Seeing his angry face, all the lads started laughing except Parth. Parth came to me apologised and asked me to return the ball that was lying near his feet. Vibhav, in his fury kicked the ball towards the road and watched the ball getting punctured as a Tata Sumo crossed it. Now, it was his turn to laugh. Everyone else stood speechless looking at him in pure hatred.

    ‘It serves you right,’ claimed Vibhav self-righteously.

    ‘That was unacceptable from your side. I had apologised and now I want a football in compensation for the one you just punctured,’ fumed Parth.

    ‘Compensation! For what? It is I who should be compensated not you’

    ‘This is the limit. First you commit a mistake and then ask for compensation. Hey newbie, you better get lost and never show your ugly face here again. I think it would be the best for you.’

    ‘When is your birthday?’ asked Vibhav innocently.

    Parth was surprised by the sudden change in his tone.’2nd June,’ he said.

    ‘Good. You better ask your mother for a mirror for it seems you have never seen one. If you cannot afford one, I will be more than glad to give you a few rupees for one.  The earlier you know the truth….’

    Vibhav was stopped midsentence by a blow from Parth. With this, hell had broken loose as the boys started throwing kicks and punches. The onlookers, surprised with the turn of events took some time to react. By the times, the boys were pulled apart both were badly hurt. Their clothes torn and hair dishevelled. That day he found himself at the doors of Mr.Saxena with his mother and a box of chocolates.

    ’Can’t we just return home?’

    ‘No,’ said Vibhav’s mother as she rang the doorbell.

    Parth’s mother opened the door. The two ladies talked for a while each apologising the other for their son’s deeds. Vibhav was reluctant to talk to Parth. The feeling was mutual after all they had gone through the day. The clock chimed five times. Parth switched on the television as it was time for the Power Rangers to fight some evil monsters.

    ‘You also like Power Rangers?’ asked Vibhav.

    This was the beginning of the endless conversations that they started. With each passing day, the boys grew fonder of each other. They confided in each other their deepest sorrows, their greatest joys, their darkest fears and their craziest fantasies. Everything was going fine. Time flew and none of them realised they had to separate.

    Vibhav was going out for his studies. This did not create a rift as the two years passed and now it was time for them to go to college. This is when things got tricky. Vibhav was again going out to complete his bachelor’s degree while Parth was this time forced to complete his degree at a nearby college. He thought that things would just as fine as it was before.

    However, the talks grew shorter and he began to feel that Parth was keeping things from him. He thought that this was temporary. Soon, he got engaged in different activities and soon got so busy in his own self that he had little time for other. The calls started getting unanswered. Parth did not mind either.

    A year passed and things started to change. When Vibhav returned home at the end of the term, he saw a new Parth and the same change was in store for Parth. They knew something was wrong, something had changed but neither was willing to admit. Change is the most difficult to expect when it alters something you felt would never change. Vibhav returned after a satisfying vacation and things got busier.

    With each unanswered call, the two best friends became complete strangers. The meetings grew shorter and less frequent, the talks more to the point. They had reached a point where they barely called each other. With time, they had grown apart.

    It had been a year since they met. They both had graduated from college and were enjoying the holidays. Vibhav was brought back to the present time by the honking of trucks. The azure sky was painted with hues of red and orange.

    The sun was silently peeking out of the horizon to catch one last glimpse of the place before he left. Vibhav had reached a conclusion. The inner storm had to stop for the result had been arrived at.

    He stopped at the chocolate store and made a purchase. Still apprehensive of his actions he stood at the ground floor of the building. His mind was still considering his decision though it had been almost fifteen minutes since he had been standing at door of Mr.Saxena.

    ‘Can’t I go back home?’ talking to himself.

    ’No,’ he heard the resolute reply.

    He rang the doorbell. The same lady opened the door. She had grown old but was still her congenial self. He made a small talk with her and went to his room. He was watching television.

    ‘So you still watch Power Rangers?’

  • Insight

    Insight

     

    Who doesn’t enjoy privacy? Who doesn’t crave for freedom? But are these two things more prized and vital to us than the mother who still has the stitch marks on her stomach?

     

    He remembered how his mother would constantly feed him khichdi and make endless cups of haldi wali chai for him when he was sick. She wouldn’t let him step on the floor and made sure that his back was resting on the bed. She would continually rub his head and even massage his feet. He loved it when his mother tucked him in bed with a big warm blanket and slept next to him, waking up to his slightest cry of pain.

    He swallowed the white round tablet that he held in his hand and dived into the white linen bed whose bed sheet had marks of ashes and stains of alcohol.

    He recalled how his mother wouldn’t let him step outside the house without having at least two paranthas and at times fed him with her own hands if he complained of getting late. She would wake up hours before to prepare a meal which could be enjoyed hot by her son. She would ask him daily at night before going to sleep what he would like to have the next day in breakfast.

    He took out the milk carton from the fridge and poured the cold liquid into the plastic bowl where his tasteless cereal rested.

    He thought of the day when he had to appear for his first job interview. His mother woke him up on time and blistering water in the shower was waiting for him. Flawlessly ironed grey trousers and a crisp white shirt were kept on his bed. His watch, wallet and tie were tidily placed on the wooden side table and the driver waited for him in the black swift.

    He woke up to the alarm after snoozing it two times and realised that he had forgotten to switch on the geyser. He applied deodorant and wore the same blue greased shirt that hadn’t been washed since a week. He rushed down the stairs to catch the metro.

    That day was still unsullied in his mind. There was not one memory that was forgotten. He remembered every slight detail of that day in his mind like the back of his hand. Most children would die to be in his place. He was a working man and still pampered unconditionally by his mother. His dad was a heart patient and had a major heart stroke one night which lead to him leaving this world but also properties whose rent could be enjoyed by his wife and his son so that their financial stability could be maintained. He had been fed up of his mothers steady nagging in his work. He was irritated by her invariable calls in his office. He was annoyed when his mother would ask him to come home early and not stay till late in pubs and get wasted with his work buddies. Then just like we know that patience is not every ones best friend, he did something that even an adopted son wouldn’t dare to do.

    He left his mom all alone and broke all ties with her. He ran away from his house in Chennai and came to Mumbai.

    Danish led a typical life like any other man of his age and his state of affairs would. Away from home, single, struggling to pay the rent and his bills. He had changed his number so that no one from his precedent life could contact him especially his mother. But his mother had still waited, waited patiently for her son to come darting back to her. Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.  It seemed like the prayers of the forlorn mother had begun to be answered. Danish gave up in his new life and knew that he couldn’t survive there anymore. He wasn’t ready to face such brutal hardships. When life bombards you with difficulties and obstacles, you either overcome them or go running back to your mother. That is exactly what Danish did, with an added fact that he had realised his mistake. More than owning up to ones mistake, it is of utmost importance to realise it. Danish still remembered his house number by heart and called his mother after fourteen months.

    “Hello?” spoke his mother from the other end of the line.

    Danish spoke nothing. His breathing turned heavy.

    “Danish?” his mom could make out that it was her son who had called her after a wait of whole fourteen months.

    “Maa, I am sorry maa. I was a stupid fool to have run away from the boon that I have been blessed with. I am coming home maa. I am coming back. I am sorry maa. I love you” continued Danish without taking a single pause.

    “What should I make for you? Tell me what my babu would like to eat?” asked his mother holding back a sob which had now turned into happy tears.

    Danish jam – packed all his clothes and bits and pieces and handed over the room keys to the landlord. Danish had never been more contented to leave anything behind. He sprinted to the nearest saree shop and bought a printed cotton saree for his mother. He sat in the Mumbai to Chennai Volvo bus with his luggage in the back but the gift in his hand. He couldn’t believe that he would be back with his mother in just three hours and could rest his head in her lap but for now, he couldn’t wait. Three hours were going to be a long time.

    His mother finished preparing aloo paranthas and gajar ka halwa. Just one more hour to go, she thought to herself. What to do now? The clock struck 3 and she thought why not watch my serial. Well, women will be women! She switched on the television and flipped through the channels to arrive at the desired one. But first time in her life did she stop at a news channel. A news channel that broadcasted,

    “Volvo bus coming from Mumbai to Chennai collides with a truck near a construction site and goes directly clashing into the yet unfinished building. Not one passenger or driver left alive.”

    We can blame others, we can blame ourselves.

    We can blame circumstances, but we cannot blame life.

    The tragedy of life is not death; it is what we let die inside of us when we live.

  • I’m Sorry

    I’m Sorry

    It is a story about a young woman who was born into a family where the father was an abuser,  who would control everyone’s  life. The girl was not an ordinary girl,  she had  dreams of creating an independent life, finally at the age of eighteen she left her home to pursue a life of  freedom.

     

    “Eid Mubarak, hope you are doing well, we miss you and I am sorry, will always be.” The message on her phone seemed to mock her entire existence, she wanted to throw her phone away into another dimension where the message could go missing with the horrid memories it brought with itself. Her life was turning out really well after all these years she had struggled with the ghost of memories that she had been trying to lay to rest, underneath the enormous layers of the stupor. The message brought back all the bits and pieces of her broken and malevolent past.

    The more she tried of taking her mind off the message the more her conscience took a hold on her memories and the people that belonged in them, not every member of her past made her suffer but most of them did. She thinks of her mother all the time, the reminiscences of the tender touch of her mother’s lips on her forehead, the comfort of her embraces at the times of her sudden outburst at that man, those words of consolation when she felt lonely, the flavour of her hands, and the presence of her being around her. She lost her mother’s support at the time when she needed the most, at the time when she was fighting for her rights, her rights of freedom and happiness, she was protesting for the life she always wanted to create.

    He took it all away, the care of her mother’s embrace, the shelter of her little brother’s trust, the support of her self-worth, the buoyancy of her dreams. She remembers the day as apocalypse, the day that made her leave everything and everyone behind.

    she had left her so called home when was barely eighteen years old, she had no other choice but to leave, she went straight to her best friend’s house and lived there for a year, got a job as a waitress in a local eatery to pay for her basic necessities, things were hard to handle in the beginning but they were liberating for her existence and experience. At last she was not scared of being beaten up for having a dream, she was not being tortured to have asked for a better life, and she was not any longer being threatened for asking for freedom.

    Her father had always been an image of domination; he has never been a father who loved his children, maybe he didn’t know how to love, maybe he didn’t know the essence of love, maybe he perceived love as control, maybe he was scared of losing his children to freedom. But he couldn’t realise his mistakes until he forced his daughter to live all alone in a world that was very new and strange for her. The realization came very late, when she had left for good, when she had created a life of her own. She did forgive him but couldn’t forget the things that she went through her entire life, the life that she now considers her own. She became a woman who wouldn’t enslave her dreams for any man, a woman who fought to live a life of independence, a woman who was self-sufficient, a woman who would love but wouldn’t allow love to strangulate her life.

     

  • A Pair of Bottle Blush

    A Pair of Bottle Blush

    Who do think deserves flowers in this world?
    “What do you think an old begger, homeless children or the municipality worker deserve from you? 
    Or what does Almighty God deserve from you? 
    Well, a common thing… “

     

    On a fine morning of an extremely fine sunday, I was returning back home after an exhausting football match. The exhaustion was worth it ’cause we had won the match. But my feet were almost crying; and let me clear you that it was not the tears of joy…tears of pain instead, literally.

    My team was already gone home, no one was there to accompany me or encourage me to keep walking.

    You know, an extra pair of legs are always more supporting than four shoulders.

     

    But since neither shoulders nor extra legs were there so I was praying to god to pick me up…and safely drop into my home. And if he couldn’t do it himself then atleast send one of his angels. While thinking about such absurd ideas, I kept my feet moving.

     

    There were many people in the stadium, yet I was covered in solitude.

    In a grey T-shirt, a bag containing studs on my back and reciting a song…because I can’t sing or hum.

    Well, I was alone on my way so I tried to get someone’s company. A bottle blush plant was there on the roadside (with a board that plucking flowers or leaves is strictly prohibited).

     

    Noone was watching me although a lot people were passing by.

    Here in India no one gives a shit about rules written in our constitution; then why would anyone stop me just because a random board was saying so?

    I plucked two bottle blushes and held them tightly in my fist.

    Now I had tall, red and handsome partners with me.

     

    Stadium’s compound ended and I was on the main road, walking carelessly and freely while reciting the same two lines of a song again and again. That song had sort of healed the pain in my legs by distracting my brain.

     

    There were some common scenes on the footpath. Few bikers climbing up to escape traffic, a hell lot of litter, and the same old woman whom I first saw two weeks ago, in tattered clothes, weird hair style and an old rusty bowl like structure to keep the money given by passerbys.

     

    It started two weeks ago, and since then she has always asked for some “help” from me on a daily basis.

    That day was no diffrent from others. She recited her mugged paragraph; and like other days, I couldn’t understand even a single word and simply decided to move on.

     

    I moved ahead a step or two and felt the flowers in my hand. For a second I thought that I should give these to her. I couldn’t give her any money as I was a student with no earning.

    And the pocket money, I never felt the need to carry some with me to the stadium.

    Well, my mind was tangled in itself as what to do?

     

    Giving flowers to that begger could make her feel good. But one can’t satisfy hunger with flowers or emotions attached to it.

    Also she might feel that I’m mocking her poverty. So ultimately I gave up the idea. I moved away.

     

    Further, I reached the square. A bunch of homeless kids were roaming there. Among the four, two eldest ones were girls and two little boys accompanied them. It was weird to have a warm jacket, a sweater and some thermals inside; while only one of them had slippers in their feet. One of the boys had a dusty woolen cap, and perhaps he’d won it since he was the youngest. Only around two years old.

     

    I looked at the girls, probably wishing to light some fire. But they lacked matches perhaps, so did I. And clearly I couldn’t give them any of my wearings. My mom would have killed me. Well, so I was left with a couple of bottle blush. It might have had made them happy, as mostly shown in movies.

     

    I walked towards them with a smile on my face. But before i reached them, my eyes fell upon a middle aged biker who was sitting on his stationery bike and talking on phone.

     

    The weird thing about him was that he was continuously staring at the oldest girl among them.

    She must’ve been around 14. She had her back towards us and her tattered cloths revealed some part of her shoulder.

    That man was intetesting enough to find some fun in gazing at her torn clothes. Or perhaps I presumed this. He too, just like me, was mentally sympathising with her at her poor state. Though his creepy smile said something else.

     

    His creepy smile made me give up the plan of giving her the flowers. There were other people too. If i straight away  gave them the flowers, they could see me as a pervert. Or even worse, they might label her a prostitute. I walked away with flowers still in my hand.

     

    Fast forward, I crossed the busy square, walked a hundred or so meters and took a turn to enter my lane. It was mostly empty compared to the working days. A few parked cars, and a cycle cart with some municipality workers around brooming and cleaning.

     

    Due to some irresponsible people and there pets, there was a lot of dog poop lying in the lane. There were at least 3 spots of sheer negligence with stinking dog potty.

    The workers were cleaning it all. I wondered if that could be termed as “manual scavenging”.

    Well anyway, when I’d moved quite far away from them, I thought, now could’ve been a good time for showing respect towards their diligence. After all they do the toughest, or the work which is most despised and still they get paid the least money.

     

    They desreve atleast some respect and a pair of bottleblush. I turned back to see that they’d left the lane.

    I still had a visual contact, but they were too far away for me to walk all the way with my aching legs.

    I frowned at me and kept walking towards home.

     

    ★★★

     

    Mom was making breakfast, dad had already left for office. It was rarely ever a sunday for him.

    I thought, how much they care for me. They work day and night and work hard to make my life easy. And what do I give back? Nothing.

    But I can’t give them anything either, afterall I still don’t earn. Though I can give them some afection atleast.

    The flowers were still in my hand. They were slightly crushed but still manageable.

    I kept the flowers on a table and went to take a bath.

    When I returned, the flowers were there no more. I asked mom has she taken them? And yes… she did.  But she didn’t keep these for herself, instead they were lying in front of lord krishna’s idol.

     

    Well, the flowers still looked good. And I learnt a lesson. Flowers are not for real people with real problems… they do no good to them.

     

    Flowers are for a fake entity who is supposed to do good for everyone.

  • Her Eyes Searched For Her Best Friend

    Her Eyes Searched For Her Best Friend

    It is a story about a little girl who had an amazing childhood and shifts to other place missing her best friend and the way her eyes searched for her best friend and how she felt at the end.

     

    She was Six when she found her best friend. Someone who played with her, someone who made her smile, someone who tickled her and make her laugh till her stomach ached. She had found her whole world where everything was perfect. Every moment, every day of her life was sharing candies,doing homeworks, eating ice creams and it was just PERFECT!!!

    “COME ON PARI GET READY WE HAVE TO GO.” her father said happily on her 8th birthday.

    She knew she was not going for a vacation nor this was her birthday gift. She was moving to a new place with her parents. She knew her best friend won’t come. She was not happy to leave her best friend there and go to an unknown place where she had no one to share her ice creams with.

    “COMING DAD.” she said looking at her best friend with teary eyes.

    She picked her loving toys and beautiful memories. She felt helpless she knew she will not be the same now. With all her courage she had few words she muttered. “I’ll miss you.” She said as she hugged her best friend. She sat in the car waving her good bye.

    She was now at a place where she was lonely. A big house, top school and parents failed to fill her mind the way her best friend did. Expensive toys couldn’t take the place of memories of her childhood. There was a smile on her face but she wept internally because there was no one to share this sorrow with!!

    Growing up with just old memories was not easy.. She missed everything and felt to go back to the days she spent with her best friend. She used to write letters of which she never got a reply. But she continued with a hope that someday she will get a reply of her letter. Wishing for some miracle to happen and she never lost hope.

    Years passed, and it was her 18th birthday!! She was never happy on her birthday as this day separated her best friend from her.

    “COME ON PARI GET READY WE HAVE TO GO.” her father said.

    She was confused. Where is she going? A vacation? With her low soft voice she asked “WHERE DAD?”

    “IT IS A SURPRISE FOR YOU PARI.” She got a reply.

    All puzzled and with lot of questions she sat in the car which headed to a familiar place. Every path she crossed made her think where is she going. And then came a turn. TURN OF HER PLACE. Memories flooded back. She started getting positive vibes. She remembered the place as she moved. Yes it was HER place. HER place where she was with her best friend, the place where she played, the place which made her childhood worth remembering. A slideshow of her memories started playing!

    The car stopped and her heartbeats went faster. She stepped down, moved forward and HER EYES SEARCHED FOR HER BEST FRIEND.

    She had mixed feelings of happiness, excitement, nervousness. But afterall her most desired wish to meet her best friend overcame her feelings. Every step she took forward made her hear her heartbeats.

    Eyes moving left & right,front & back in search of her BEST FRIEND. Her heart knew where she will find her best friend. She stopped. Took a deep breathe. And ran towards the garden.

    She was right and here her best friend was!! With all her energy and excitement she went to her best friend.

    “DADUUUUU……”  she called out with her sweetest voice.

    A wrinkled face behind the newspaper on the chair bloomed like a flower who got the sunshine after a long dark night. As the newspaper moved off the face felt like the sun came shining out of clouds.

    “MY BARBIE DOLL IS HERE….” a weak voice said out of excitement with strong hands wide opened.

    She ran with all her energy and hugged her BEST FRIEND. HER GRANDFATHER. She jumped with joy. She felt happy, she felt complete!! Her smile sparkled brighter than a diamond. Her happiness had no bounds her joy had no limits. Some gifts gives happiness which words can’t express.

    And this was her BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT she ever got!!