The girl takes loses herself in the past when her future gets shattered.


Day 2:

Yes, I was standing in the same spot in the footpath like I was yesterday. I had decided to give one of my pass classes a miss so that I could be here the exact time I was yesterday. The best part of today – it wasn’t raining and the streets were absolutely dry. It wasn’t even too sunny for me to have to carry an umbrella, everything was just perfect. I was only worried about whether I had missed the boy or whether he was going to come today at all.

It felt kind of stupid, waiting for someone I don’t even know. I didn’t even ask him his name. He could have been some guy who just happened to be passing this street yesterday at the same time as me. There was no guarantee that he would do the same today, or ever.

After fighting with myself for a few minutes, I realized the absurdity of this whole scenario. I was just turning away to leave when I saw him walking up to the bus stand on the other side of the road. He was talking animatedly with a friend of his. He was wearing a Captain America t-shirt; his now dry hair made his face look more cheerful; his eyes and smile were as bright as they were yesterday. His bag-pack assured me that he was returning from his college.

I knew that all I had to do was just cross the road. It was no big deal. My heart pounded in my throat as I crossed one lane and reached the divider. Then it suddenly hit me – I had no idea what I will say to him. I took one long look at him and his friend, and my mind went completely blank.

When a bus came and stopped in front of their bus stand, I sighed, and quickly walked back to where I came from. I could not understand what I was thinking, going up to this random guy. I didn’t even know him. I need to go back to college.

‘Hey, it’s nice to see you again!’

I turned around to see that guy walking up to me. I was expecting he would get up on the bus with his friend and go home, not cross the street and just come up to me. Unfortunately, I was still speechless. I tried to make sense of what he just said, but I had no idea what he found so ‘nice’ in seeing me again. He didn’t even know me.

He studied my face for a moment and explained himself, ‘We met yesterday, I asked you if you needed any help with your –‘

‘Yes, of course I remember,’ I found my voice at last. Looking up at him again, there was only one thing I was dying to know now.

He took one big step forward and offered me his hand, ‘Hi, my name is –‘

‘I’m sorry, but can you tell me something?’

He blinked a few times and took back his hand, looking a little confused. ‘Sure.’

‘I know this is really abrupt, but why were you so happy when I saw you yesterday?’

His smile changed – it seemed as if he was expecting me to ask him this. He let out a loud sigh and cocked his head to one side.

‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.’

Day 368:

I didn’t need to blink so much anymore because I knew this nightmare wasn’t going anywhere. The tears rolled down silently and all I could do was just keep looking at the hearse carrying him away. Neither of our parents let me go with him. I couldn’t think about anything but the physical pain in my chest. It seemed as if there was something inside that was being pulled to its fullest extent, on the verge of being torn apart. The hearse was pulling it away, but it only stretched further and further. A strange sensation of burning started in my head when it dawned on me all over again – he was really gone and he was never coming back.

My knees hit the ground with a loud thud. I closed my eyes and surrendered to this nightmare. The thing in my chest tore apart.

Inside my eyelids, I could still see him, smiling down at me.

Day 397:

The brawl starting right beside me made want to hurl my glass of drink at the two men. Would it kill them to act their own age sometimes? If they can’t hold their alcohol, why do they drink in public places? The man right beside me was becoming a little too agitated a little too fast. I know I should probably move to some other seat, but I shouldn’t have to!

My phone rang. After frowning at it for a few seconds, I reluctantly answered it.

‘What do you think you are doing, disappearing from college like that? Your mom and I are worried sick! You have to come home, right now! You better not be in some run down pub, drinking like a middle-aged –‘

I clicked the phone shut and dismantled it. As soon as I put down all the parts on the table, I got knocked off from my barstool. The man who was sitting next to me was on the ground too.

I saw a familiar pair of shoes come and stand in front of me. ‘You need any help with that?’

My heart skipped a beat when I recognized that voice. Keeping my head down, I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could and ran towards the exit. I was too scared to look back.

My hands were trembling as I pushed open the door and stepped outside in the rain. I just stood there in the cold rain, panting, and trying to grasp what just happened. But the rain kept distracting me.

Every drop seemed to burn me with all the memories I had tried too hard to brush aside. I half-heartedly glanced back inside the pub. I don’t know what I was expecting to see. My hands balled into fists in frustration because I couldn’t understand why all this was suddenly coming back to me now.

As I was about to cross the road, I noticed a girl with an umbrella standing on the other side. After a while, I realized that it wasn’t just any girl – she looked exactly like me. Only that she looked happy and hopeful and didn’t seem at all bothered about the rain. I could not believe what I seeing.

And then I saw him, dressed in the black t-shirt and blue jeans, walking up to the girl with the umbrella. His smile, his bright eyes, the skip in his step, was all the same. Anyone would think that it would be impossible to overhear a conversation taking place that far, in this pouring rain, but I could hear them loud and clear.

‘Why were you so happy when I saw you yesterday?’ the girl asked him.

He gave her the same smile and tilted his head the same way before saying, ‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.’

I gasped and clasped my mouth with both my hands.

‘Try me,’ said the girl, exactly the same way I had done more than a year ago.

A big bus blocked them from my view for a few moments, but after it was gone, I saw him looking right at me and saying, ‘All the while I was coming home from my friend’s place, and I was thinking that this day couldn’t get any better. But at that moment, it just did.’

‘How?’ I whispered. My feet started moving towards him. I knew what he was going to say because this whole conversation had already taken place a year ago. I couldn’t keep standing on this side of the road anymore. I had to go to him. I had to talk to him. We never even got to say goodbye.

‘I saw you…’

I couldn’t hear him finish his sentence as I was greeted by a bright light and deafeningly loud horns.

I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the wet road, the rain still pouring down on my face. I couldn’t feel the rest of my body. I could make out some dark figures running towards me. However, I didn’t care about any of that. His voice was still echoing inside my head.

‘I’m sorry. I just couldn’t say goodbye.’

I smiled, ‘It’s okay.’ I took a deep breath and closed my eyes shut.

Inside my eyelids, I could still see him smiling down at me.