The short story follows an interview with Nina, one of the most famous actors. How Nina pours her heart out with regards to her love for acting, her choices and losing herself into her craft.

 

It was during the early hours of one particular Saturday afternoon. The cool January breeze was blowing outside, accompanied by the sun, shining its brightest. Nina was welcomed into an almost empty café. She walked straight to the corner of the café. She liked how secluded that corner was from rest of the café. She usually sat there. It gave her the privacy she craved for; the privacy she did not get, on most days. It had been 10 years since she had made her entry into the Film Industry. She had become increasingly famous in the course of the 10 years. There have been moments when she still finds it difficult to comprehend that she is living and breathing the dream she’d wanted very much to come true. She had sown the seeds of this dream when she was about 10 years old and through the years this dream just grew, and the want to make this dream come true, only grew stronger.

The waiter arrived with the latte that Nina had ordered. He placed it on the table and walked back to the counter. Nina’s eyes suddenly went to the glass door of the café. A woman entered. She was wearing a black kurta which flowed below her knees with a pair of dark blue jeans. The woman did not remove her sunglasses even after entering the café. Nina’s eyes lay fixed on the woman who was walking toward her. Nina then realized that the woman was Anjali, the journalist who was going to interview Nina for the magazine. The magazine was going to feature Nina’s 10th year in the film industry, for its upcoming issue.

Anjali established herself on the seat opposite Nina.

Anjali removed her sunglasses and Nina could see a mixture of surprise and confusion, resting on her face.

Anjali held out her hand, introducing herself.

Hi, I’m Anjali. We spoke over the phone a couple of days ago…
Yes, yes I figured when I saw you walking toward me. Why do you look so confused and surprised? Do I not look like Nina?

Anjali chuckled a little. Her nervousness was suddenly brushed away.

I’m sorry to keep you waiting like this. I thought it would be the other way round. I thought I would be the one waiting.
Hey, no worries! I was actually free and thought I’d spend some time alone with myself. I’ve just been so busy with work and I’ve hardly got any time for myself.

Suddenly Nina stopped talking. I do not know why I’m bothering you with all of this, actually.
No, no, don’t apologize.
Okay.
So, shall we begin?
Yes, of course.

Anjali called for the waiter and placed an order for a cup of hot chocolate. She then removed her diary from her bag, along with a pen.

What does it mean to you, becoming one of the most famous and much appreciated actors?

Every individual has certain dreams. Dreams of becoming something, of making something of themselves. Mine, was to act in movies. From a very young age, I was mesmerized by everything with regard to acting. I always knew that I wanted to do this. My parents however, were not very encouraging regarding this. Like themselves, they wanted me to pursue something that was more academic. I was always good, academically, but I never was inclined toward it. They do feel happy, seeing me on screen but not the kind of happiness I look for, on their faces.

Is it really important for you, to get their full approval?

Yes, of course. Which child wouldn’t want their parent’s approval? It just encourages you to do better. Having said that, somehow my constant need to get their approval, has pushed me to perform better and that is why I and everyone else, can see myself exceling. And that feeling when you get that appreciation, is something else. It’s indescribable. But the daughter and child in me will feel truly accomplished and taste the fruit of my hard work and success wholly, when they accept my choice and when I can see that happiness on their faces, the one I have been and that I am still looking for.

Was it difficult for you to make this decision, considering how your parents feel about it?

Yes, yes. Most definitely. But I knew it in my heart that I wanted to do this and besides, I didn’t want to do something else and blame them for the rest of my life.

So regret is something you do not like living with?

Who does? I believe in taking that chance.

Do you think personally, that you have grown as an actor and as an individual in the past couple of years?

I have, as an actor. But as an individual, I’m not sure. What I do think is, that I have lost my sense of self. I have dived so much into my craft, playing so many different characters and so many different people, that I have forgotten who I really am. I have forgotten who Nina was or is.

Are you looking for that Nina? Do you really want to find her?

I don’t think that I want to, at least for now. I am enjoying this high of being so many different people. It’s captivating and beautiful, in a way. There is a certain bliss I find in not knowing who I really am and just living in that state of confusion and unmindfulness.

Anjali stopped scribbling down whatever was being told to her. She just looked at Nina for a few seconds and wondered how beautifully lost she was, that she didn’t want to run away from all the confusion but was embracing every ounce of it.
Anjali commenced with the interview, asking Nina a few more questions. The interview was done in about an hour and a half. They spoke a little regarding the feature and then stood up and walked toward the door. They exchanged a formal handshake, as soon as they got out of the café  and went their separate ways.

 

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