Every great story has great characters – and in my life, one such, is my elder brother. I could trace many of the parts of who I am to one of the instances where he inspired me through his words or actions.
In my childhood, when we would play game from chess to cards, he instilled in me the importance of always thinking and doing something different from what anybody would be doing. We would use science – we thought and told we were using great scientific truths (funny now as they were nothing scientific and just common sense) – every time to complete our secret missions. It’s this impulse and endeavour at the moment that has always stayed in my memory. In spite of anything happened, he would make sure to come visit and get together during holidays (he is not my ‘own’ brother – we dont live together) and would discuss everything – I mean everything! From whatever thing that we have feel passionate about. It is when I realised the importance having a meaning conversation with other people. I realised in those discussions that there are so many ways to see the world.
Many years have passed and we have all gone our ways. Everyone have been now busy with their thing. Lately after a long time, he came to visit my University and stayed together in hostel. We were back in that high-spirited-discussions-and-actions mood. He had developed a passion for nature and wildlife, where he says he always had. He aspires to do something for the nature and so for the world at large. He talked about his future plans how he would like to many build a forest (after seeing and getting inspired from some TED video), join the tourism business, and protect many agricultural species that are depleting from the planet. Once again, he did not fail to inspire me. How does he do that! I happily participated in his and promised to share his mission, which I would anytime. I every day when see someone in need or probably needing inspiration or a gentle push in his life, I make sure to impart some of it that I have received from all the people that have influenced me – by large parts from my brother. I would never be thankful enough for all they have done.
In my stories and events that happened, I found out that the phenomena of synchronicity that people have indicated is real. Synchronicity is one of the confused and mislaid topics that came under human thought. The word has probably been coined by some spiritual cult maybe to serve their needs; however, the word does have a significant place in our lives. The synchronicity is a happening of similar event coincidently with another at exact same place and time.
I can share experiences and events the happening of which are so strange can only be explained by no less than a act of synchronicity. Whether it is finding just right person for your job at the right time or getting the fixed amount of resource that you need to complete a project, it happened at a regular intervals.
Once it happened that, I lost my ATM card number, and I did not want to go through all the hefty processes of getting a new password (all bank processes take so much time). I just tried to recall the number with all my might. I tried the other day. And the day next. I tried three times every day for the next three days, with 24 hours gap (more than three wrong password inputs might block the card). After trying for two days, I quit and just be there asking universe to guide me what to do. The very next day while I sat on a place nearby. Immediately I realized that it got to be my ATM numbers – I went and checked and Yeah! It is. Can it be called ‘just a coincidence’? My understanding goes that we should never take, which is often a fallacy, the lack of causal relation as a justification of inaccuracy. Let me give you an example, if I were to ask you: how much would you bet for accepting that if I drop this object it will fall to the ground? However, that knowledge has not come innately with us but something which you have learnt it because we have seen it happening so many times since we are born that he we have started take it as almost as truth. But nobody has taken to have an eye for those coincidences that happen in our lives; on top of that, we have been told to have inquiry and scientific approach to everything – and without understanding what it really means people would discard such as superstition and wishful thinking. There are many such experience than happen with me on day to day basis which would tell me that there is way way more to it.
Due to my father’s job transfers, I had to change schools four times in my schooling period. It is quite a hectic of a job to keep changing your location. There are many things to talk about experiences that I had doing school-time at each location, but I am going to write up what where things I observed from making the change in general. Honestly, I feel sorry for them who grew up at the same location, went to same school all the while.
The first time I changed was when I was in seventh grade. I never went out of my place (other than going to my home native place), let alone moving out of my home school. It was a great cultural shock for me. I was scared and embarrassed child. It was first time I realized how narrow my vision was even though I thought myself to be reasonably open-minded. Second, when we stay at one place for long, our breadth of the scopes to progress becomes limited. Our challenges become limited as we are continuously hitting the same nails, so to speak. To get away from the usual patterns of living our life is a huge blessing.
After two years, I move to my third school. I was mentally prepared for any change. So it was very easy for me adjust with the native school goers. (Secondly, many students there were from my previous school – which was an additional bonus for me. A beautiful thing about this whole thing is because you get to bring those stories and experiences with you when you come in a new place. It is almost we human were wired for change, to move and travel in all directions, to continuously strive and move towards something. It is fundamentally to who we are. Change nourishes us.
By the fourth time, having had all the experiences, I knew what to expect – and I was in a position to take advantage of the situation change than be worried about it.
Making many friends and seeing new places every-time only added to the diversity of my experience in so many ways, many of whom I am still in touch with. I am no more afraid of settling in a remote place or making friend with a total stranger. Nor am I aversed to people of other cultures. It is such a great place to be.
There is a great importance of balance in all aspects of our lives. Be in finance, relationships, family, and work balance is of central importance. Now there are people who teach extremism in life (sometimes called extremists) which manifest as idealism of certain ideas, fanatism- generally with religious beliefs, etc. something that drives people almost to the point of crazy at times. There are many problems to living a life in such way: apart from the social disorder that they are generally known for, they, psychologically/individually, create great fixation to certain story. Story woven together with layers of beliefs whose sole pupose is to give meaning to people’s lives.
Now we must realize in life that there are no ground rules in the bed of reality. There are only certain rules that bind us to the world- because we could experience things as a human. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You are to choose by making the necessary alterations to the story that you are presented to you in your life. There are no ground rules as such that you should not live a rich life or that you should do something for social cause while living a sub-standard life yourself. There is no one to decide, and there is no final judgment to it than the one you decide. Now the life you are choosing is the one you are defining what your ideal life should be. You must remember you could have defined your life differently. Now the definition that you will provide will be very specific to your conditions. You cannot just say you want to live on Mars next moment. It is not that it is very impossible logically but practically desiring that out of the blue is childish.
A human animal is born with certain psychological and physical needs that he wish to indulge with in different ways throughout his or her life. Now the way you have wanted to do that or society has made you to want something will decide the course your story while you are here on earth.
When we are talking about striking the balance, we are not talking about resorting oneself to mediocrity. No. Never. If you could fly to the highest skies and desire so, you should all means. Instead, what is important is to have have an outlook for getting a fixation over any aspect of your life, in other words, you must have a personality (yes personality ) that is as fluid as life itself, always free-flowing, moving around, and living.
When I was little, I believed I had two superpowers (and my friends will know this): indomitable ability to work hard and persistence over one thing. I relied heavily on it for any task, challenge, problem – basically, for every aspect of my life. They are my shoes to get by the end and even more needed so when I’s was having a bad day. But, what I didn’t know back then that I was relying on it heavily and compulsively. I started to see myself as ‘hard-worker’ – one who could attain any feat by putting many hours and effort. Whenever I hit success, I would ask for more. I wanted to validate myself in the eyes of others – peers (whom I competed with), family (whom I thought I had to impress and make proud). To say that it became a vicious cycle is an understatement.
When you take something to such a compulsive level, as I did, to the point that you become fully fixated on it then you are moving towards a breakdown. That is what happened with me. After all, how long can you go like that? You are to feel burn-out eventually. What I was feeling physically and emotionally is too deep and dark to put it into words. Externally, I saw a change in my attitude. I started to be more and more irritated. I started to vegetate. Sometimes felt like I was dying inside. I lost my ability to think intelligently, which too I valued so much in my life. I lost all my faith in myself. Eventually, I lost touch with my superpowers.
Looking back after all these years I realized that it does not have to be that way. Now, whenever I meet someone and understand him or her closely, I realize, ‘everyone is so cool in their own ways,’ (unlike previously, where I believed I was the only cool). Culture and media false portray how we should be as a society or an individual. There are hundreds of ways to go by. I also have started to realize that there are so many other qualities in me, which I never knew due to compulsive success-loving outlook, that now I am realizing. I am also learning, probably after reading about it from somewhere, to find ways to channel that part of me to show myself that I can be comfortable relying on it anytime. I am having real fun time now – as the McDonald says, “I’m Lovin’ It.”
I have never visited Hyderabad before. I am from north, specifically eastern region, where I spent my first twenty years of my life. I have moved to Hyderabad for my higher education. Now, before coming here, I had heard great praise about this city: the Hyderabadi-Biriyani, the Charminar, and many things. As expected, I was expecting a lot from this City of Pearls (for its historical pearl and diamond trade). My experiences, well, turned out to be way less pearly.
@Wikimedia Commons
Firstly, the food. To start out, I am a big foodie. I love eating all types of foods and expand my boundaries, which I call as ‘expanding my tastes’. My first experience when I got down from the railway station was the first blow I received as a foodie. I saw a samosha stall outside. We love samoshas, aloo-chops, vegetable-chops, anything oily and lot of ‘pur’ in it, we are all for it. So, I ate 3 samoshas at the stall back to back as I was hungry after one and half day of journey from Ranchi. When I asked for the total, he said it was 30 Rupees. What! I replied that don’t give me the rate for a dosa but for the three samoshas I ate just now. No. Still 30 Rupees. The price of a samosha here in Hyderabad is 10 Rupees! Moreover, we get only two paralyzed mirchis with it. We would get 4 samoshas for that price in my place. There in there, at that stall, I took the pledge to never have a samosha in Hyderabad. Starting there every food/dish is costly in Hyderabad: dahi-bada 15 Rupees each, rasogulla 10 Rupees each, even the pizza from the Dominos is costly. No doubt there are no foodies in Hyderabad; no food culture, no such dhabas, food-stalls, khopchas specializing in anything. I expected, like we must, find some stall would be good in dosas, some in idlis, some in other things, etc. Just plain nothing. The truth is there was hardly anything that I had here that I had not already tried before. Now, the only thing that was left for me to try is Hyderabadi-biriyani of course. So, me and my friends went to many popular of restaurants in Hyderabad, and my experience was less than as I, we all had expected. The biriyani was good, no doubt, but not so good that one could brag about it, and have prefix ‘Hyderabadi’ attached to it.
@TelenganaToday
Secondly, the traffic. I am sure Hyderabad is competing Delhi on traffic, and would definitely beat it in most days of the week, if not all. I have not seen an empty road after I came to Hyderabad. There are so many traffic-posts, speed breakers, traffic police everywhere but still nothing. Occasionally, what takes an hour ride from one place to another would take about 3 hours. Not to mention the pollution that is generated; if you want to get its truest view then do visit the Charminar. The best thing you can do when you go there is return back as soon as possible. The Hyderabad is blessed with places such as this everywhere. Even big politicians face jam and stay stuck, what to say of us ordinary people.
@DeccanChronicle
Thirdly, the heat. Now, I would dare Bear Grylls to stay here in Hyderabad for the entire summer. Yeah, I know he can, for Bear Grylls is Bear Grylls, but the point is the weather is so damn hot that you would often need his tricks to get through the entire season. No kidding. Other places in India too have hot summers, but Hyderabad has that for five months straight for God sake — from March to July. The atmosphere here is crystal clear — no humidity, no hot winds, which makes the hot rays of the sun penetrate harder. We had to buy Nycil, Dermi Cool powders, Sunscreens, etc. in kilos. Also, my guess is the caps, hats, and umbrella shop owners would be the millionaires here, for obvious reasons. Well, the news is summers do end, and guess what follows. The season of monsoon, that lasts for three months. The atmosphere remains always wet and humid, and so are you, throughout the days, and the nights, inside or outside. The only comfortable season here is the winter, which is so short that it would end before it has started.
In conclusion, this is not the place to visit or settle I would recommend to my homies back there. If you still want to visit the major attractions, I would urge to get a helicopter and enjoy the sights from a safe hundred meters above the ground. Meanwhile, to all my friends who are not in Hyderabad, pray for me while I am here, and that I get out of here at the earliest opportunity. Amen.
Sandeep Maheshwari is the Founder and CEO of ImagesBazaar.com, the world’s largest collection of Indian images. He is one the most successful entrepreneurs of our generation. He also gives motivational seminars (for which he does not charge at all), where he speaks about his success story. He holds the Limca book of records in photo shoots by taking more than 10,000 shots of 122 models in just 10 hours and 45 minutes. Simply, he is the model for success in the Indian youth.
Luckily, I started listening to his motivational videos quite early on my life. However, I couldn’t grasp the full scope of his seminars. Every word related to career and success from him came from his own experience. And, mind you, he had many experiences in wide range of fields. Most of his lectures are about passion, what you love to do, as opposed to what others think or expect of you. So far it was all good and easy. We knew the importance of passion, which was already firmly established in our minds after me and my friends had once obsessed over the movie 3 Idiots. An important thing that I missed did cost me huge losses in terms of time and money. I, like everyone else, believed that success is possible in limited number of career options. For example, you had to be entrepreneur, doctor, engineer, etc. only then you could have a luxurious career. We never know how such untested assumptions affect our perceptions, and make us take wrong decisions. I knew passion is important, but the money, luxury, whatever was making me believe that I was passionate about something that I was not.
Here Sandeep Maheshwari came to my rescue and made me realize that it does not matter what the current market says about any stream or career path, if you are passionate about anything and work at it and keep at it, you’ll do far more success and live a far better life than you would have otherwise. This simple insight just flipped my switch. It is how Steve Jobs puts it: “I would rather gamble on our vision than make a me-too product.” This gave me so much confidence and courage in what I’m doing, and kept motivating me to do my thing.
The second most important lesson he taught me, which is also related to career, is honesty. It seems quite strange even to talk about honesty because we think we know all about it. I mean honest is just a virtue. Right? Wrong. It is much more than this. Can honesty be used to improve one’s business sales? I thought it was impossible because we have been led to believe implicitly that rich people are somehow bad people; atleast that was there where I grew up. The only way you could become rich fast is by wrong means. The dishonest and the corrupted people are the only successful ones. At last, I got over it and saw there is hardly any truth in it. Sandeep Maheshwari used ‘honesty’ in his work- he spoke out truly and clearly what he was doing in his business, where were his profits, what were the sources of his revenue, and so on to his customers. This is what he calls building trust. He believed in absolute transparency. He kept on doing that right from the start of his entrepreneurship career. I was blown by it — seeing the connection between the honesty and business. Is this real life? Somehow, I knew he was right. So, I applied that rule in all walks of my life, not just related to money, and the result was you build huge trust among your colleagues, customers, and every person you meet.
Those are the major two for me. There are many other such great lessons that he instills from his life anecdotes, which others have claimed that affected their lives. To each his own. I owe a huge portion of my sense of direction in my career to him, and this article is my memoir of me thanking him.
