In today’s digital world, using an email to ask for a friendship is increasingly normal. Social media can be used more as an address book with privacy settings allowing access to different levels of information. Rooh was a sophomore at Allahabad Engineering College and was so centralized to her contemplation that she consign to oblivion in strength of sixty boys she is by oneself girl in her class.
Yes! She was in Mechanical (alas). Her thoughts about love and life are so superannuated and her companions used to tell her that you lived and grown with a myth all these years, nonetity in this cosmos could race with her thoughts, but she believed in all these lies. She believed love at first sight, she also presuppose that her first love will only be her last love, she took as gospel that if she ever broke up she can never fall in love again. But Love has its own time its own season, its own reasons from coming and going. Yes, she tumble in love, he was Rabbi the only guy in college who used to disgust her so much. He has his clique of guys who makes nuisances around the college and they are so playful that they didn’t even de trop Rooh’s friends. She got so many squawks about Rabbi, she was caught-22 whether this person is worthy of her love or amiss. At the age of 19 nobody has a clear sight of sagacity unaccountably if you are devoted so much to someone then you doesn’t even trust your eyes or ears. She heeded to propose him and hoped positive response from him. It was unequalled day of her life and she was so elated and timid at the same time, he was not sure about it but he shake on to be a good ally with her. They kept their pertinence secluded as he wanted this to be reserved only to them.
This secret relationship perdured for four years and is token lot to twain, but love fades in time unless you know how to groove on and sustain what spellbind him/her most about you on that very first day you rendezvous with. And it started to end, she never wanted it to end like this but she has to accept whatever comes through in her life, she can’t say it to anyone other than crying herself to sleep thinking what went wrong? Cursing herself for not keeping one relationship safe and secure. It took her 2 years to move on over him and start a new life but as time passes, memory fades, feelings change, people leave but heart never forgets.
Rooh continued to love him. She changed a lot, started living in a butterfly world, hidden most of the time and only pretended to be beautiful when someone wary. When you are not interested in doing something that you can’t do anything interesting. Yes she was so low in life but she was happy in her own busy schedule at the workstation, stopped believing her fairy tales and was living a practical life.
She lived without any feelings and made herself so tough that she doesn’t sense love anymore. Love sometimes finds us when hope is fading and the ebb is settling in. It leads up safely through the darkest night when the shining new moon fills the clouded sky.
As it blooms and grows, its sparkling light is enough to eclipse the brightness of the wonderful breaking dawn.
Her phone rings with a name displayed on her mobile screen on her way back home LOVE calling! She took the call in a very familiar voice he enquired “How are you?” As if everything was fine between them she kept quiet for a second or two she was thinking what to say, she held her breath just to listen his and said “I am doing Fine”.
Inside his enquiry there was voice asking What heaviness are you carrying? Or what tears do you hold back? What pains what fears are kept inside, people don’t even look you in the eye, but she said fine holding back everything inside her. He asked “would you forgive me for what I have done” Tears trembled from her eyes- she thought all these years I was in pain anger frustration, hatred because of this boy, made herself so much like robot and he is asking me forgiveness and she said I forgive the hurt. She felt relieved, she felt like free bird that day she realised forgiving those who have hurt you actually repairs and heals the broken heart. Everytime someone puts you down, will you make decision to bring somebody else up.
He continued to talk to her he was so relieved with her answer. He made her to remember those days of togetherness where there was fun laughter love and most of all friendship. The secrets which they shared which nobody knows, he thanked her for holding on to him when he was alone. He said “whenever I picture myself in an open area and there is storm above me and nobody I can talk about my problems and I am down on my knees and cold, weak and I felt this is an end you still were there and you are still here for me.
You always said you don’t have to do this alone. You are my strength Rooh”. Rooh froze at his words she couldn’t able to think why he is saying all this to me. She asked him “why after so many years you realized it. Why not that day why not after a week so that I could have comeback. Why after 2 years when I stopped loving you.” He said I realised it on the day at the moment when she left him and gone but I was so stubborn to accept my guilt. You deserve a better person in life Rooh. True love has a habit of coming back. She said “when your love was fading away mine was getting stronger. But, you never realised that even in my silence I loved you even when you are not there for me I am still loving you ,I loved you even you hated me and never gave up on you. I have no more feelings left for you but I continue loving you but I can’t stay with you”
Love is a promise, love is a souvenir it is never forgotten, never let it disappear.
Today, she has turned 70; she kept her promise to him that she will love him till her last breath. She relives this conversation every night, but not with him but instead with his husband Lawrence who loved her more than she loved him. He knew in her deepest part she will never forget him and he accepted her love for himself. She forgets that she is married for 30 years all that she remembers is Rabbi.
On her deathbed it was Lawrence telling her all these years when I was with you, I feel safe from the things that hurt me inside. I love you because you loved me when I couldn’t love myself, he chuckles and says the more girls I meet, the more I realise its only you, I want to be with. She said to him I always loved Rabbi but he never stood for me I don’t know whether I am married or not but I love a person who talks to me about his love for me. His name is Lawrence.” Lawrence was so shocked after hearing these because it was first time in 20 years when she accepted her love after meeting with an accident where she lost her memory and all she remembers was Rabbi.
Being someone’s first love is great, but to be theirs last is beyond unequalled. Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because he is trying to change your heart. That conversation never happened between Rabbi and Rooh because Rabbi never realised his mistake it was Lawrence who everyday asks forgiveness from Rooh so that she forgets the hurt or maybe she could remember that only Lawrence loves her the most which she realised after 20 years. I think love doesn’t take account of time. That’s why it is rightly said in the bible. “Love is patient, love is kind, it always protects, always trusts always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”