“I’m tired, and the funny thing is that I’m tired of myself, feeling all the emotions I shouldn’t feel, dreaming about everything that I can’t possibly have, thinking that they might understand me one day but they never did. Questioning myself if it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling, questioning if it’s okay to feel like your entire life is falling apart in front of your —-“
“Zaacckk” i heard Keya shout my name, i went to the balcony and saw her standing at a distance from my house.
“Are you done writing the poem? We will be late for college” she said.
I had a flare for poetry.
I always had a habit of writing one poem in the mornings, it made me feel like i have done something throughout the day.
I stuffed the bread in my mouth and left for school, as i exited my house i saw her,
hazel eyes and brown hair that was touching her delicate skin.
I was always spellbound by her beauty, one unlike any I have ever encountered. She never fails to mesmerize me.
What am i doing? I am not supposed to like her—
Then she stepped towards me, grabbed my hand and ran towards school.
Damn, we are late.
On our way to college she asked me if i could write her a poem someday , she would love to read a poem from me that is written about her.
i agreed to it, and she asked me to promise her and of course, how could i refuse.
We were able to enter the university, the whole day i could only think about was the poetry, the one that Keya asked me about, to write about her, what can i possibly write, how can i possibly describe her with any words. Her beauty was beyond those words.
We were walking down the street, back to our home, and I stole a glance of her beauty and realised, i can never look at someone the way i look at her. But my mind kept on telling me that I’m not supposed to like her.
1 month later-
Finally, I wrote the poem that I thought i could never put into words, i decided to walk to Keya’s place and give her the poetry and maybe also tell her about the way i feel. I was anxious and more importantly concerned about the way she would react.
I walked down the stairs, my mom looked at me and asked ” Where are you going zack? Must be a special occasion, you seem all dressed up” with a smirk on her face, maybe she knew.
I told her that I’m going to meet Keya.
“Keya who?” She questioned.
I thought she was playing around because Keya and I always walked to college together.
I told her about Keya, us walking to the college together, her waiting outside our house every single time, us spending time near our college and then coming back together to our home.
“But i never saw anyone near our house zack, and i always saw you going to the college alone, there was no one.” she said as if i had lie about my encounters with Keya.
But it doesn’t look like she is kiding around.
I was perplexed and it was visible, my mom looked at me and asked me plainly,
“Where were you going exactly? You know where she lives?”
Thats when it hit me, i didnt know where i was planning on going, i didnt even know where she lived.
It was only on one friday evening when a girl joined me when i was going my way back home, she asked a lot about me and when i tried to know her she would change the subject. For 6 months or more she kept following me around and i began to like her company, she was different, but i didn’t know much about her or maybe didn’t know her at all.