One more letter brings you one step closer to the truth!
Letter Number 2 – October 2015
You sketch really well. The portrait you’re sketching at the moment is really beautiful. Specially the eyes of the girl in the portrait. They’re stunning. Or maybe they really are just plain but you have the ability to make them look beautiful.
No. I’m not stalking you. I swear. I was just reading a book in the library when you decided to show up and sit at the table right opposite to mine. You looked distracted by something. You sat staring at your hands for a while and then went on to take out your sketchbook and pencil and started sketching. I had already heard about your brilliant hand at art but had never gotten the proof until now. I am sure somebody must have complimented you about it, but if not, take it from me. You are amazing!
If you’re wondering that I learnt about this because I’m in Art class with you, then no. I can’t draw to save my life. But you remember those “friends” I told you about in my first letter to you? They are all masters at the art of digging up information about anyone in school. All I had to do was ask and the next day, I knew everything about what you did in art class!
Funny, isn’t it?
I’m sure you didn’t even know that people keep so much information about you, since I’ve noticed you seem hell bent on keeping your loner status. You can’t fool me Ryder. I’m an excellent observer. Take it from someone who has suffered beyond imagination. I can see right through your mask. Under the mask of the arrogant, rude and scowling loner, I can see that you yearn for company. I don’t know what has made you build walls around yourself, but I know that you need a friend.
That was one of the many reasons I chose you to write letters to.
But I didn’t know you were so passionate about art. You are so focused on your sketching that you don’t have an inkling about the fact that I’ve been staring at you for such a long time. It’s exciting to some extent. Sitting in front of you, writing a letter to you and you don’t even know what’s happening. You can just look up at any moment and catch me observing your every move and put an end to my plan. But you don’t. Not once did you look up. It was as if the sketch was your world.
You know, I am really jealous right now. You look at the girl in your sketch as if she means the world to you. I wish I could have someone who would look at me that way. I wish you could have looked at me like that…..
Uh, I mean as a friend. Like a best friend. Nothing more! Don’t get me wrong!
Anyway. So while you sketch sitting almost right before me, I sit writing this letter to you. Did you know, I used to get terrible nightmares before I decided to start my letter therapy? The incident that made me like this used to creep up to me every night and destroy my peace and calm. I hated not being able to forget it. I hated that it put such a deep scar on my heart. But whenever I think about you before going to bed, the nightmares don’t come. Initially I would dream about you, how you smile when you see they serve Jell-O in the cafeteria, how you glare at your locker door when it refuses to open. Then it slowly turned into dreams about what would happen when you get to know who I really am.
Yes. Of course I’m scared of what your reaction will be. I’m terrified actually. But I still decided to choose you because you looked like the person who would understand me and accept me just as I am. The bell’s about to ring in a few minutes. I have to end this letter. But I really think it’s working Ryder. You are helping me. Bit by bit. And I’m really glad about it.
I can see that you are ready to leave. You pack all your things one by one and get up to leave. I quickly look down and concentrate on the words as I write this letter. I can feel you walking towards me. You have to pass by me to get past the exit. My heart is beating so loud that I’m almost sure you can hear it from a mile afar.
But then one girl drops her pencil case and you bend down to pick it up. You don’t look at her. You just gather everything and put it on her outstretched hand and with a curt nod in her general direction as the reply to her feeble “thank you”, you swiftly walk out of the library.
You seem to be so hard hearted and cold from the outside. But you helped the girl. It was a stupid thing. She had just dropped a pencil case. You could have just stepped over it and walked away. I know that that’s what other people would do. But you didn’t. You stopped to pick it up.
Do you see why I chose you now?
Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about the confession and the one problem that I face.
I’m sure you’ve figured out the second problem I face, through this letter.
I get nightmares that affect me physically and emotionally. But you’ve already started helping me with that, haven’t you?
By the time you open this letter, I’m sure that you must have forgotten about this visit to the library because I know you come to the library almost every day. I want you to think back to this day, try to remember it at least. Do you want to know why I’m stressing on this particular day? Because it brings me to my second confession.
Remember the girl you helped with the pencil case? Well, that was me.
Keep sketching. Don’t ever stop, alright?
This time the girl had attached a photo of a portrait. It seemed to have been taken in the school library. It hadn’t been completed. But from what Ryder could figure out, it was a portrait of a girl with beautiful eyes and it was definitely a sketch that he had been making.