Emotional intelligence

I firmly believe in being transparent and truthful with others. I held the belief that concealing emotions and keeping things hidden, especially from loved ones, did not provide as much benefit as one might think. Deception was something I struggled with, as I consistently aimed to express my feelings honestly. However, a significant realization changed my perspective.

A few years ago, a close friend entrusted me with a secret, asking me to keep it to myself due to the embarrassment it would cause if others were to find out. He trusted me because he believed I would not pass judgment on him for what he revealed. Understanding his vulnerability, I assumed that others would also be accepting and understanding.

Time passed, and the topic faded from my memory. One day, when a group of friends gathered, we engaged in casual conversation about various subjects. Unfortunately, I unintentionally mentioned the very thing my friend had confided in me. Instead of the supportive response I had anticipated, my friends reacted with laughter, ridiculing him. Witnessing his hurt, I felt an overwhelming sense of remorse. He didn’t say a word and quietly left. It was at that moment that I realized it was so naive of me to betray my friend. 

Since that incident,I have made a conscious effort to practice selective honesty. I embarked on a journey of self-improvement, seeking guidance from books on emotional intelligence, which significantly broadened my understanding. It became clear that our minds are wired differently, and not everyone would receive information in the same way that I do. The empathy and compassion I offer may not be reciprocated by others in our social circle, which was precisely why my friend confided in me. I finally grasped the true essence of keeping a secret. It is not solely about hiding information from people but rather about sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with those who will genuinely comprehend and support you, instead of emotionally tearing you down. IQ helps people get good grades but EQ definitely helps people save their relationships.