And here's the fourth letter! 


Letter Number 4 – December 2015

Dear Ryder,

Christmas is here! I can’t believe it. You have no idea how much I love Christmas. Do you know which one is my favourite part? Yes, it’s the presents. I love it when people smile because of the presents I get for them. All the thinking and running about that I have to do to look for them is worth it because at the end of the day, I could make someone happy.

So I did just that for the whole of the previous week. The present hunting trips I mean. Today is Christmas Eve and I am extremely excited. Not only will I be able to give the presents I bought, but I’ll be getting some presents as well. I can’t wait for the clock to strike 12! So here I am writing the next letter so that I can distract myself until it is time for opening presents. My parents aren’t a big fan of parties since the ‘Incident’. So every year we have a small family get-together where my uncle, aunts and cousins come for a night of fun and happiness.

What do you do on Christmas? I’m sure you stay at home and read. I know you. You don’t like parties either right? What did you wish for this time from Santa? Please don’t say you are too old for it. I wish every year. It’s fun. Especially when you are trying to recover from a state of deep suffering, these are the small things that bring joy in your life. Do I seem too philosophical today? Sorry. I’ll stop.

So tell me. Did you wish for a new book? Or did you wish for a new jacket? I’ve noticed how much you love your jackets. You look good in them too. Uh.Um. Yeah. I wish I could erase that. But I can’t so let’s move on.I know! You must be wishing for a new car. You’ve been saving for a new one. Wondering how I know? Well, you were talking to your dad over the phone about this one day at the Diner.

 I wasn’t eavesdropping! Promise. I just heard that by chance. So you must be wishing for your dad to get you one so that you can save the money for something else right?

If I am right you have to treat me to Ice-cream on Graduation day when we finally meet. No backing out. It’s a deal. Remember last year someone left you a box of your favourite Skittles, with a heart-shaped sticker on the packet, in your locker on the last day before Christmas break? The news had spread like wildfire and everyone wondered who the brave girl was. The one who dared to give the cold and distant Ryder West a present.

I had seen the expression on your face when you first found it. You had looked like a kid in a toy shop for a second. But then it was back to the expressionless state. You took it and threw it into the bin. I always wondered why you threw it away. I knew you clearly loved the present. You had smiled, which you almost never do!  Do you not like presents? If you don’t I’ll change that about you, the moment we become good friends. You can bet on that.

Anyway, I wished for a new phone this year. My old one will break down in a few more days. I am certain of that.  I’m sitting on my bedroom window sill at the moment. The snow covered porch looks really beautiful. My parents and relatives are watching a horror movie downstairs so I decided to stay here. Horror films and I just don’t go together. I hate them. So I took this opportunity to do my own thing.

Oh! I forgot to ask! Whom did you buy that pretty silver bracelet for, last week? I saw you at the jewellery store. You seemed to be hesitating to buy it. I was right behind you. As usual, you didn’t notice. Buy I did notice you. Carefully and closely. That bracelet was for someone special. Was it for your mom? It was really beautiful. You have a good choice Ryder. When we become proper friends, I’m going to take you along for my shopping trips to the mall!

Okay okay sorry. I was just kidding. Don’t worry. I won’t put you through that pain. I know how much boys hate shopping. Do you know why that bracelet caught my attention? Because it reminded me of someone. Someone whom I never want to see again. He had gifted me a bracelet very similar to the one you bought. But instead of it being a happy memory, I want to box it away with all the terrible memories I have of him. 

This brings me to my next problem. I cannot wear bracelets anymore. It’s a weird problem right? It arose for a reason. Bracelets remind me of something that I want to forget, something horrific. After the ‘Incident’ I used to have severe panic attacks at the mere sight of a normal harmless bracelet. Even though I’ve recovered from this peculiar phobia to a great extent, I still can’t wear them. I don’t panic like that anymore, but I don’t like them either.

But that day when I saw that bracelet in your hand I almost had a panic attack again. But then I took deep breathes and changed my focus to you. I observed you and slowly, I completely forgot about the bracelet. It was amazing. I haven’t acted this strong in a long while. And it’s all thanks to you. You don’t know how much you have been helping me.

So I decided that this strength to control my problems is your Christmas gift to me this year. Thank you Ryder. Thank you so much. I am so very grateful for this. Now, for the fourth confession. 

Am I making you think too much with these cryptic confessions? I apologise. Truly. But when you’ll finally figure out who I am, you’ll realise that it was actually fun. These help you to understand little things about me. So that when you finally see me, you’ll know exactly who you are dealing with.  You know me Ryder. You just have to think the right way. Finding me isn’t that difficult. I’m sure the fourth clue will be of much better use than the previous few.

I know you love Skittles. So I had decided to get you some. Yes Ryder, I was the one who was brave enough to give you a packet of Skittles for Christmas last year. I wish you hadn’t thrown them away.

Merry Christmas!

Time to open presents!

With Love

Letter Friend

This letter had another photograph.  It was of Ryder, standing in front of his locker, smiling at a packet of Skittles with a heart shaped sticker stuck on it.