Today I will be sharing a story what a person can do if one has faith in himself.
A kid of 11 years was very naughty as many of us in that age. He doesn’t want to study and want to play all the time. Their is copy checking like thing in our education system so whenever teacher check the copies he say I have forgotten my notebook and I will get it checked the next time. Teacher check the bags and give another chance to the kid. But after every incident he was getting closer to the end of this shit. The day came on 11 August when he was in seventh class. It was his birthday. It was the day of checking Maths notebook but he do the same “Mam, I have forgotten my notebook. I will get it checked the next time.” But he had given the notebook to the senior so that when teacher will check the notebook he will find nothing. But that day was not gone like that. The senior was in 8th class and he had a fight with his classmates on that day. So, in the break when he was outside his classmates checked his bag and found my notebook. Then, they give it to their Maths teacher. So, the Maths teacher came in the middle of science class and called that kid to come in 6th class where she was taking her lecture. The kid went to the 6th class. First question the teacher asked “Where is your copy”
The kid has now seen this notebook on teachers desk. So he told the truth “I have given it to a senior” . Then, the teacher slaps him and beats him brutally with stick. Then, the teacher called the elder sister of that kid which was then in 12th class. She embarrassed him in front of her. So, the school ends and the kid was trying to convince his sister not to tell anything happened in the school . Not because “Ghar par bhi bejati hogi ” But because his father is very strict. He will also do the same as the teacher has done. But her sister tells everything after reaching home. Then, he saw another side of his father and he said nothing except “Beta padh liya kar “. May be because of the poor face of the kid. Then, the kid start completing his Maths notebook because he has to face the same teacher tomorrow. Then, he start doing his work on time and come 1st in 8th class, 9th class , 10th class and then cracked JEE exam.
It is the same person which is not even want to study and then cracked JEE but by believe in himself.
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I would present a critical review of the work. I must appreciate the idea on which the writer has tried to write a story, i.e., the immense strength that one gains if they truly believe in themselves. But the articulation is something that has to be focussed on. The writing used by the writer is informal with a lack of a accurate use of the voice speech. There has also been an unnecessary change of tense here and there by the writer which destructs the readers’ comprehension. The story interestingly also comments on the family dynamics and their role in the life of an individual.
In brief, there is much to be worked upon to make this story a valuable moral statement.
If we try to be formal always then the reader may loose interest in the story and try to read it as a news article.
I must say it’s an inspiring tale. The way you show the transformation of a kid who initially didn’t want to study but eventually believed in himself and achieved great success is commendable. It’s a powerful message about the strength of self-belief. However, I noticed some areas where the writing could be improved. There were some inconsistencies in tense and a few grammatical errors that could be fixed to enhance the overall flow of the story. Keep up the good work and keep believing in yourself as you continue to write engaging stories.