Author: Shubhangi

Will found a journal on train. He just thought of it as a notebook but it was something else…

 

Will had his headphones on when he boarded the train. He should have called for cab. Pulling up his hoodie, he slid in the empty seat. He looked around to check if anyone had recognized him. Everyone was busy in their own world to notice that one of the most loved band’s member is travelling with them. As he put on his shades, he noticed a red notebook lying on the floor. He found out that it was a personal journal. Knowing that it would be wrong to read it, he couldn’t help himself. When he read the first entry, he found out that the girl had written the about her bad day and her previous journal getting lost.

He chuckled thinking how she had lost another one. She is one careless girl. As he proceeded reading, he started picturing a girl in her teens probably. In her fifth entry, he got to know that she is his fan. He wanted to know what she thought about him.

Will, you don’t know how much I love you…

This is all common for him. He thought he would sign an autograph and keep it in it. Getting out of the station, he got a call from his manager. He asked him to send a car to pick him from station. He got home and found his girlfriend waiting for him with a birthday cake. She had planned a big party for his birthday.

After the big celebration, he got in his room. His girlfriend made him sit on bed as he was a little over drunk.

She tucked him and went to cleaning his room. Picking up the small notebook which was lying on the floor, she asked, “What is this?”

He replied, “Just a notebook I found on the train”

She kept it on the night stand. Little did he know that it was someone’s life that he had found on the train!

 

He had forgotten about the journal and went to working on his music for his next album. One night, he was stuck on next note. Keeping the guitar back, he took his coffee and went to his room. He was surprised to see the notebook still kept on the night-stand. He smirked, “If she is my fan, she would have definitely written something on my birthday”

He flipped through pages and saw an entry for his birthday.

I wish you a very happy birthday. I didn’t wish you on any social media because I know my wish will get lost in millions of wishes that you are getting. I am happy to see you happy. It hurts that I am not one of those lucky people who will be there to celebrate your birthday with you. Hope you have a brilliant year ahead and you deserve all this happiness after a big loss.

He got to know that it was the entry after the loss of his mother. He read the about whole day. She used to wish him luck every-day. He realized that the journal was actually letters to him which she used to write whenever she wanted to talk to him.

 

He got to know her story: She was a girl who had a dream to be with him. She was creative girl who used to make amazing drawings and had a collection of inspirational quotes scribbled on the top of each page. She loved music and her friends. She used to be a shy girl but now she had completely changed. She used to write to him how her day went and how she was loving her life. Sometimes when she would be sad, her entries would reflect that she is hurt.

When he reached the last entry, he saw it was of one month ago. He was confused. He wanted to know what happened. Why had she stopped writing to him? He didn’t know her name or anything. How will he find her?

 

He was driving by a small park. It struck her, she said something about being in this park and writing to him.

He went in park to see some young girl with a charm bracelet tied around her wrist writing in her journal but didn’t find anyone. He thought he is mad to be searching for someone about whom he knows nothing about. He glanced at the red cover and noticed something which he didn’t observe before. The drawing or the doodle on the first page had small initials written in it.

sAm

He laughed, “Of course. She is big fan of John Green novels too”

When he searched his followers on Twitter, he found many but one stood out which had a John Green quote as wallpaper. He got to know that she studied psychology in Kingston. As he came to hostel, he asked for Sam on reception. The receptionist called in room.

When a young girl descened the stairs, he saw she was not some teenage girl but a young girl maybe in her twenties. He smiled, “Hi”

She smirked, “Hello”

“I found your diary on train. Sorry for reading it”

She bit her lips and had tears in her eyes, “It is not mine”

He was confused, “What? You are not Sam?”

She shook her head, “No”

He asked, “So, where is she? I want to meet her”

She wiped her tears but still had a big smile on her face, “I think you are little late for that”

“Why? Did she leave?”

She nodded, “Yup, she left. Actually, she was your huge fan. I used to call her crazy and actually she was crazy. She was in love with you; head over heels.”

He handed her the journal saying, “Okay, here is her diary. I had signed on one of the pages. Just tell her that… I would love to meet her.”

She shook her head, “You can keep it. I am sure she would love that.”

He was still confused. She gave him notebook saying, “She died last month in an accident. I kept her journal because it is the only thing that reminded me how crazy she was. Now, I think you should keep it because it was originally meant for you”

He didn’t know what to say or do. That small notebook had made him look at her in every fan of his…

Keeping the keys in the bowl next to the door, Alia entered her apartment, the apartment she shared with her best friend, Kiara. Kiara came out with a cup of coffee in her hand saying, “You have got deliveries”

Alia had a big smile on her face. She thought it must be from her boyfriend, Lucky who does internship with her in the same company. She unlocked her room and saw her room full of roses. Terror swept her. Looking at the roses, she knew he found her. Demons of past have finally caught up with her. She picked up the card with her hands which were still shaking. It said:

Hi darling,

I know missed me…

She started breathing heavily. Tears were running down her cheeks. She hurriedly closed the door and ran out of the apartment. Kiara followed her and found her on the staircase terrified. Alia hugged her tightly like a little child who has seen a nightmare come to life. She murmured, “He is back. He is back, K”

Kiara was stroking her hair saying, “Dear, it is fine. I am here”

 

At night, Alia had trouble sleeping. The feeling of those eyes keeping a watch over her every move gave her chills. She hugged her knees tightly and had her eyes fixed at the rose which Kiara forgot while cleaning up. She gathered courage to stepped down from her bed and pick it. Squeezing it in her hand, she said, “I am not afraid of you. I am not”

Her phone beeped. She looked over her phone scared. She was relieved to see Lucky’s name flashing. She knew talking to him will make her feel safe. After he talked to him, she felt grateful for there was someone who can make her smile in any situation. As she was about to doze off to sleep, her phone beeped. She looked over and panic made her heart beat faster.

Darling

Does he know your little secret??

XOXO

Yes, her nightmare has returned. She was sure of this.

 

Keeping herself contained in one corner, she couldn’t focus on her work. She ignored Lucky and kept a safe distance from everyone. Her heart used to beat faster whenever her phone beeped. She knew he will not rest unless he had destroyed her whole life.

When her boss called her in his cabin, she thought she might have messed up something. Sliding in her chair, she said, “Sorry sir, if I had messed something. There has been a lot of things going on in my life.”

He gazed up from his laptop at her saying, “Miss Alia, I am sorry we can’t work with you anymore”

She asked, “Sir, may I ask what did I do wrong?”

He had his eyes fixed at her, “You didn’t tell you had drug problems. I just received a medical certificate which said you were an addict.”

She shook her head, “No, it was my past. You don’t understand. I used to be drugged. I didn’t do it on my own”

He handed her an envelope, “I can’t do anything now. You can leave now”

She took the envelope and left the room.

 

Alia took out a box which was kept in back of her cupboard. She was scared to relive her past but after he had made her life fall in pieces in just one day, she knew she had nothing to lose. When Lucky broke up with her today over a message which she was sure he had sent him, she knew she had to face him now. When she finally had her life back together, he came back and ruined it.

He…she saw his photo. Smiling with her mom on their wedding day. Alia was against this wedding because her mother never saw the face that she saw. Yes, he was her step-father. She remembers how he used to punish her for something or other. When her mother fell sick, she knew her life is going to be more terrifying. And when her mother died, life became worse for her. He used to abuse her day and night, drug her to keep her mouth shut and make her eat the leftovers. She was a body without a soul, a body which urged for drugs because her system would crave for it; for if she took it, she would not feel the pain at night, as he liked to share her night.

All those images flashing in front of her eyes, all the unspeakable things that he did to her, all the pain and suffering that a fifteen year old had. She took the rose in her hand and knew what it meant. One rose meant one guy, two roses meant two guys and so on. When she was given roses by him in morning, she understood what was going to happen at night. She was grateful for her teacher who made him go to jail and took her under her wing.

All those images made her feel dirty. As she came out of the shower, she messaged him to come and meet her.

 

He stood there in the basement of the building with those eyes fixed at her. When he looked at her like that, she used to feel uncomfortable. But today, she was not scared. She had nothing that he could destroy. He walked close to her and took her hand in his saying, “I knew you would never forget your daddy. Oh, my little girl”

She shouted taking her hand away, “I am not your little girl”

He cupped her face saying, “Sweetie, you know I look for your best. That guy was not good for you. You don’t trust your father?”

Anger was rushing in her veins. She pushed him back screaming, “I am not your daughter. You are not my father. You have ruined my life. You ruined me”

She looked over and saw an iron rod lying there. Every atom of her body wanted to kill him for whatever he did. He said, “You know I can kill you easily if are having thoughts about harming me”

She hinted a smile, “Too bad that I am already dead. I died the first time you ruined me”

She took the rod and hit him in his leg, “Well, this is to all those men who think women are just dolls to play with”

She hit him again, “This is for sharing that doll after drugging her”

She was going to hit him again when Kiara called out, “Alia stop!”

Turning around, she saw Kiara standing there with cops. Alia rushed to hug her as cops arrested him.

 

“HE” didn’t have a name because he can’t be identified with one person. Not everyone is like “him” but some people can be identified with “him”. Alia faced her childhood fear and hit it back with more force.

Fear will only make you fearful till the time you decide to not be afraid of it.

Ashima is 10 year old who has come across a hard truth of her life. She finds missing reports with her photos under her parent’s bed. What will she do now?

 

Slipping in my seat at the dinner table and picking up my spoon to eat, I looked at my parents who were staring at me. I asked, “What is wrong?”

Dad passed one of his best smiles. I bet this the smile that gets him clients. He asked, “How was school?”

I shrugged turning my attention back to the food. I cared less about the school. Mom asked, “Ashu, what is the matter? You didn’t like your new school”

I murmured, “Does it matter? In a couple of months, we will be moving again”

“Why are you saying like that?” mom asked squeezing my hand. She had curly hair tied up with her favourite pin holding it. I stared at them. Sometimes I used to wonder why I am not like them. I don’t have those smooth curls or dad’s bright smile. I saw those black eyes of my mom’s staring at me. I jerked her hand back, “You know why I am saying this. Every time I start to like some place. We move. I don’t have any friends. I don’t like moving”

I ran back to my room crying. I hated this. I crawled in my bed and looked over at the wall which had photos of us all over it. I don’t know why they don’t get it. These tapes reminded me that my life here is temporary, at least in these 8 years I have learnt that.

 

I don’t remember when I slept but I got up when alarm clock beeped. I rubbed my eyes and walked out of the room. I smelled my favourite cake being baked. This was mom’s way of making up with me. She asked, “You’re not ready for school”

I took a bite of cake and walked back to my room to get ready. I was stuffing things in my bags when I remembered, I had given mom to check my homework. I entered her room and saw my notebook kept on the night-stand. As I took the notebook, the pages fell on the floor. I knew I needed a new notebook now.

I bent down to pick everything. I got under bed to get the last sheet but bummed my head against a box. I saw my photograph in it. Actually it was of when I was around 2. I took out the box and saw many photos of me in that same teddy bear sweater and two ponytails. I don’t remember that sweater. As I took out the papers inside, I saw the heading on one of them.

“Missing”

It can’t be real. I have never gone missing. As long as I remember, mom had been glued with me all the time. I start to read it. I saw in place of Ashima it said Riya. It didn’t have any of my parent’s name instead there were some other names. I searched more and found more posters which had the information about me and the contact details. I wrote down the phone number and arranging everything back to way it was, I made my way out. I got out of the house and waved mom goodbye. As I reached the bus stop, I saw a booth.

I knew I had to find out who was searching for me. I dialled the number. My heart was beating faster. I actually thought it will be cause of my heart attack.

I heard a sweet voice say, “Hello”

I stammered, “Umm, is this Mrs Savita Arora?”

“Yes” she replied. I took a deep breath and said, “Who is Riya?”

“Oh my God! You are calling in for our missing daughter.” She started calling someone. She continued, “We are so thankful for that call. What do you know about her?”

I started thinking. After giving some thought, I replied, “Well, I am reporter and wanted to know the story behind your missing girl”

I could hear disappointment in her voice. She sighed, “Okay, so her name was Riya. She went missing when she was 2 years old and I took her to mall. I lost her when I went to the trial-room”

I could hear her sobbing. She told me everything about how I went missing and how they have been searching for me ever since. I asked for her address. I knew it would be inappropriate to land a bomb on them by landing on their doorstep unexpected, so I asked when I can drop by her house.

As I ended the call, I was in tears. My whole life had been a lie.

I entered the house. My head could not differentiate between what was true and what was not? I was sitting on my bed covered in sheets crying by myself. Mom came in asking, “Ashu, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Do you have fever?”

She pulled the sheets and saw me crying. She hugged me tightly, “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?”

I pushed back, “Don’t you dare come near me. You kidnapped me. You are not my mother. I hate you”

I knew I was right when I saw her face go blank. I wiped my tears, “I get it now. I get it. All this…why we had to move, why I was told not to make friends with neighbours, why you didn’t have photos of me as baby…I get it now. You both lied to me. I am going to my real parents. I talked to them”

My heart used to melt when tears used to roll her cheeks. I got up and took out my suitcase out of the cupboard. Packing all the stuff, I said, “I have their address. Least you could do is drop me there”

She got up saying, “I’ll call your dad”

When she left my room, I sat on my bed and went over my false life on the wall. I knew I was never their daughter. I had brown eyes while both of them had black. I had straight brown hair and they had black curls. They said that was because I was special. How stupid I was.

 

When we reached their house, dad turned to me asking, “Ashu, are you sure?”

I got out of the car without answering. It was a big house with a big garden around the house. I was awestruck. I have always dreamt of growing up in a house like this. I can’t believe my dream is coming true. I have seen some kids wishing they were switched at birth with some kid of wealthy family. I felt like I was in some movie. As I stepped on their lawns, I saw a couple calling out, “Riya, Riya”

I was about to go forward when a five year old came running to them. I took a step back when I saw how happy they were without me.

I turned around and saw my family, which had been there for me. On one side, I had the family which had everything, where I could get anything with snap of fingers and other side was family where I got the things which meant something. My mind said to be with wealthy side and my heart belonged to the love side. I knew I would never fit in this big house. They have replaced me but who will replace me where I belong…

 

We don’t have to move now. We don’t have to run because no one was looking for me. I could nail the frames on wall instead of taping the photographs. I can have friends now and last week, dad got me a dog too. Even though, we don’t live in big house, we still have home and I don’t think you need dream house to be happy. Now, we have no secrets and I think that was what was missing earlier.