Storieo

Author: Chandrayee Pattanayak

  • The Familiar Stranger

    The Familiar Stranger

    A family got a dog and kept it with great love and care. However due to some unavoidable circumstances they had to donate him to a new family. How it feels to see that same dog after few years and the feeling of being stranger-zoned by the dog is what this story is about.

     

    I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

    I heard a dog barking.

    Easy does it.

    A lady clad in a dirty sari opened the door. I assumed she must be the maid. She looked at me questioningly. 

    "Is Rajesh Uncle here?" 

    She looked at me suspiciously and said "I'll just call him"

    I waited. The maid was clever. She didn't let me inside the house and closed the door in my face.

    One minute passed. This was my moment. I could run away. 

    The door opened and a man in his 50s looked at me and smiled 

    "Namaste Uncle" I greeted him

    The last time I saw him, he had more hair on his head. Now he was almost bald and the remaining hair on his head were almost white. He looked tired. Oh well, people are allowed to look tired on a Sunday morning. 

    "Hello beta, sorry , the maid doesn't seem to trust anybody here. Come inside. I hope you did not have any difficulty finding our house?"

    "No no uncle" I smiled. Giving fake smiles was one of my greatest talents. 

    I looked around for the dog that was barking.

    "He's outside in the balcony. Don't worry" Uncle seemed to read the look on my face.

    "Thank you Uncle" I sat down on the sofa.

    I looked around. It was a huge house. Well furnished and beautifully decorated. 

    The dog started barking once again.

    Have patience.

    "Hello beta" A friendly lady came. I assumed she must be Rajesh Uncle's wife, Preeti Aunty.

    I stood up and greeted her. The same maid came again and placed a tray filled with a glass of juice and biscuits and dry fruits. She smiled at me too this time.

    Preeti Aunty asked me about college and how I was commuting and how my parents were. I patiently answered all her questions. 

    "He's eating right now. You can meet him after that"

    I could feel my own heartbeat. I wondered if my heart was visibly pounding or something. I wondered if Aunty could see it too. Sometimes my brain thought really stupid things. Right now was that time.

    The dog barked again. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. 

    A few minutes more baby.

    The maid came inside again. 

    "He's done eating. Come inside" 

    My pulse started racing. Tachycardia, yes that is what was happening to me. I felt like my heart would come out of my ribcage. My head started pounding.

    The last time I saw him was two years ago. I wondered of he remembered me.

    The barking intensified and so did my heartbeat. 

    And then Uncle opened the door. What hit me back was the familiar waft of dog smell. Brought back so many memories. And there he was. 

    Black and furry and magnificent. 

    My Don. My baby.

    " We call him Fred now" Uncle informed me. 

    But for me he'll always be Don.

    I looked at him. He was barking on the top of his voice after seeing me. I knew it wasn't the ' I recognise you' bark but the ' who are you, stranger ' bark. I had mentally prepared myself for this.

    "Fred , look who's here. Do you remember her?" Uncle asked him.

    Don wouldn't stop barking. He was pulling the leash. He was tied to the window. It pinched. We never tied him anywhere. 

    "He bites. Don't go near him please." Uncle warned me. 

    I stopped. I hadn't expected this. I wanted to go near him and I want him to lick me the way he used to do. He had grown so big in two years. Last I saw him, he was a medium sized puppy. 

    "Hi Don… Fred (I looked at Uncle) Hi baby, remember me? "

    Don kept on barking. It didn't sound like a happy bark at all. 

    He showed me his scary teeth and was barking at me like the way he barked at other strangers.

    But it's me Don. I cuddled you and rubbed your belly. I fed you milk and bread and chicken. I cleaned your pee and poop. How can you bark at me baby? 

    Aunty came in the room. "Fred, keep quiet " 

    She sat next to him and let him lick her face and and ran her hand through his fur. She signalled me to come to her. She held his face the other side and asked me to run my hand through his fur. I used to do the same when scared children wanted to let him.

    He barked as soon as he felt my hand and tried to reach my hand with his mouth. 

    I stepped back. I had had enough.

    The maid came inside. Apparently Don loved her as he was jumping and licking her lovingly.

    It was time to leave. 

    "I should go now Aunty. Mom and Dad will get worried and I have college work to do too" 

    Aunty gave a me a friendly smile. She asked me stay for a little more time but I refused. My heart had suffered enough anyway. 

    The whole ride back home was like a blur. 

    The pain of giving Don away had died its natural death a long time ago. But now a new pain was born. It seemed familiar to the old one but slightly different. 

    We got Don on my 21st birthday. He was a naughty boy when he came. He didn't let us sleep the first night as he kept scratching our bedroom door (mom didn't let him sleep in our room). German shepherds are supposed to have erect ears. But when he came he had small tender ears. His bark sounded like a squeak. As Don grew, he became a very obedient yet naughty dog. He broke four vases and ruined the sofa covers. Yet we loved him. We treated him like a prince. 

    And then one day it happened. 

    Mom developed dyspnoea and couldn't breathe after awhile. Her body was burning with fever and had to be rushed to the Hospital.

    Diagnosis – Severe hypersensitivity to dog hair. 

    And what was the solution – giving Don away.

    It was a tough decision. My little brother who was 10 at that time, cried and hit all of us and shouted and threw tantrums. Mom cried too as she felt she was the reason why he had to go. Dad kept quiet. Out of all of us, I knew he was the one who loved Don the most. I shed my share of tears too but the new onset of maturity told me that family is the biggest priority. 

    Rajesh Uncle got to know about our decision to donate Don for free from a mutual friend. The last moment with him was unforgettable. I had read that animals sense stuff that is happening around him. So I expected Don to behave exceptionally well. But he acted as normal as he could he be. He tried to bite my hair as I tried to hold him. It was hard holding the tears back. 

    The pain of losing Don was immense. For days, looking at other dogs became unbearable. Dog posts on Facebook were always skipped and concentrating on anything became horribly tough. I felt even sadder for my brother. He learnt about sacrifice at such a young age. But he was young and I knew he would forget and move on easily. He didn't even bother to accompany me today. 

    I tried to play the moment again in my head. Don had forgotten me. And why wouldn't he? I couldn't gather the courage to meet him in two years. He was somebody else's dog now and would remain theirs. I was history for him. 

    I wiped the single drop of tear from my eyes.

    I know I had to make peace with it. 

    Don isn't Don anymore. He's Fred now.

  • An Unpleasant Deja Vu

    An Unpleasant Deja Vu

    Memories are funny things. They attach themselves to some strange smell or a particular song or a particular place and this ability of our brain to associate some things to a particular memory is the basis of a Deja Vu. Yakta, 29 year old single girl, experienced a bitter Deja Vu one day which took her to a journey to her 'Oh so awesome' past life that ended on a bad note.
     

    My dinner was waiting for me. I looked at it. Atleast something was waiting for me. I started eating it.

    It was cold.

    But I didn't mind cold food. Not at all. One of the perks of being lonely and lazy is that you don't mind cold food at all.

    I sighed. Lonely and lazy. I never thought I'd come to that point in life when these words would describe me. And some days I become lonely, lazy and sad. That's when the loneliness really gets me.

    Television was meant to be for public entertainment. But somehow I find nothing so entertaining. As I flipped through the TV remote only to give up my phone rang.

    My phone rang and my heart skipped a beat.

    It was just my boss.

    I wanted to toss the phone onto a wall but then I'd be a jobless and phoneless lonely girl.

    "Yakta, you haven't submitted your reports yet. I hope you submit them by Friday. Can you do that?"

    "Sorry sir. Yes sir"

    "Alright Friday then. Thank you."

    Well an unhappy boss isn't a great thing either. I sighed again. I looked outside.

    Lonely and lazy and fed up with this life. Yep that's what I am.

    I wore my shoes and went outside.

    The feeling you get when you start something big, but don't know what to do after that, THAT is exactly how I was feeling at that moment. I had come outside but I didn't know what to do.

    The cool breeze sent a chill down my spine. I took out my earphones and started walking aimlessly. It had rained the day before and I did not like the smell of damp soil. But I kept on walking, because I had nothing better to do and physical exercise was something that I needed desperately.

    I stopped. I felt like I was paralysed. It seemed as if I was teleported somewhere else in the past.

    The same song.

    Memories hit me like a wave.

    The trees and roads disappeared and I was sitting in a room. A room different from the one I live in now. A time when I wasn't alone.

    My head was on his lap. He was gently stroking my hair with one hand and holding a book in the other hand.

    "I can't remember all this" he said looking at me.

    “What can you not remember babe? " I knew the answer to the question though.

    He was my husband, and a post graduate medical student. We met at my college fest and it didn't take much time for us to realise that we were made for each other. He was a medical student and I was a Zoology student. He used to study 9 hours a day and I barely studied before the exams. Yet I used to get 80% in all my exams and he had to struggle and work hard day and night to score more than 60%. I graduated before him and got a job before him while the poor thing remained a student. I earned more than him by working for lesser hours than him. We got married after 5 years of dating. He had just completed his MBBS and managed to secure a good rank in his post graduate competitive exam. I felt bad seeing him coming home late at night, tired and disappointed with himself. His perpetual complaint was not being able to retain what he studied even after repetitive revision. I assured him that he just expected too much from himself. And I knew that wasn't the answer he wanted.

    "Look at this, I've been studying it for the past 3 hours and I'm still clueless"

    I decided to take a look.

    I was horrified. Being a Zoology student I knew that what was written in italics were scientific names of organisms.

    "I can't remember what bacteria causes what and if I don't know that, I won't be able to know what antibiotic to give" he said.

    "I don't know what to say babe. Make a table. Write and learn. Read it everyday" I shrugged my shoulders.

    He gave me the ' don't talk about stuff you don't know' look and got up.

    "Where are you going?" I looked up at him

    " I'm off to sleep" he said without looking at me.

    I knew he was upset and it upset me too. For the past 7 years I had always seen him disappointed with himself and his performance and I felt helpless. I wanted to do something to make him happy.

    I followed him to the bedroom. He turned on the air conditioner and sat down on the bed, put his book next to his pillow and was going through his phone.

    I went and sat down next to him.

    To my surprise, he was looking at our old pictures. I looked at him and smiled.

    "Remember this one ? " He showed me a picture.

    " Of course I do"

    We both were sharing an earphone and listening intently to a song when someone decided to click our picture. It was the perfect candid picture.

    "Do you still have that song?" He asked me

    I played the song on my phone and put my head on his shoulder. It seemed like a perfect romantic moment.

    Seemed like was the key word here.

    " We should get a divorce" he dropped the bomb.

    I was so sure that I heard him wrong that I didn't even bother reacting to it. My head was still on his shoulder.

    " We should get a divorce Yakta"

    I laughed. I knew he was joking .

    " Why? You like someone else ? Some nurse in your hospital?" I said jokingly.

    The song started playing on repeat again. He turned it off.

    " I'm serious."

    I lifted my head up and looked at him. He had a grave look on his face.

    I burst out laughing again, expecting him to burst out laughing any moment. But he didn't .

    " You don't motivate me Yakta. You're my source of distraction. I wasn't supposed to marry so early but I did it because you wanted to. I was supposed to go abroad and study but I didn't because of you. I can't discuss medical stuff with you. Your life is simple and you did not have to do much work and you still earn more than me. I want a study partner and you can't be that either. I can't spend hours in the library studying because I have to come home to you and as a husband I have to satisfy your needs and in that process I'm falling back. Im losing out on my studies. Mom was right, I should've just married a doctor. Atleast she would understand my situation. I want to do super specialisation after my M.D but after some days you'll want a kid and then another responsibility. I can't move forward with you. "

    I couldn't believe what I heard . From what was supposed to be an intimate and romantic moment, here he was enlisting reasons for our divorce. I calmed myself down and told myself that this was a temporary problem and he would be fine the next morning.

    But I was wrong. So wrong.

    Eventually we got divorced.

    For one year, I blamed myself  for being the reason behind the divorce. I believed in his reasons for the divorce until one day I got a letter from him.

     

    Hi Yakta

    I hope you're coping up well. I know you're a strong girl and everything happened so fast and you just accepted everything so easily and without a fight. I know the past five months have been hard. We fought a lot and I said really mean stuff to you. You didn't deserve all this. You were a great wife. You supported me and I'm sorry for all the things I said.

    The divorce wasn't your fault and I know I'm late but you deserve to know this. I cheated on you. I had an affair with a batchmate of mine. Being in the same field and her ability to truely understand my problems attracted me and she became my study partner and she did not believe in marriage which was even better for me. I was guilty, trust me I was. I love you Yakta ,I still do, but my profession and my desire to excel made me take this step.

    After our divorce I shifted with her only to realise that she wasn't the one for me. And that day I realised what a horrible mistake I made. I lost out on you. I gave up on us. I know I'm too late now, but yes, you deserved to know this.

    I don't want us to get back together because i know by now you're disgusted at me but all I can ask for is your forgiveness. I hope you reply back.

    Your ex- husband

    Tanvin

     

    I never replied back. It was my turn to be selfish. I had to heal the damage I had done to myself by blaming myself for one year everyday after the divorce for not being a good wife only to realise that he was cheating on me. Till date, I never understood why he asked me about that song just before he told me that he wanted a divorce and why he was going through our old pictures. But then some questions are supposed to remain unanswered.

     

    The honking of a car broke me out of my trance. I realised some other song started playing and I was still standing on damp soil.

    I came back home. I hate the rainy season and I hate the smell of damp soil.

    I sat down and worked on my report when I realised that I forget to do something. I took out my phone.

    I deleted the song from my playlist.

    Deja Vu can be a bitch at times.

     

  • God in a Coffee Shop

    God in a Coffee Shop

    Two strangers from different places who meet in a coffee shop decide to interact with each other, oblivious of what is happening in each other's lives. Yet one of them leaves a mark on the other and encourages her to continue with her own life and move forward. 

     

    'I'm sorry, I like you but I don't like you enough, I need time… I need time to think. I'll talk to you. Later.'

    These words were playing on repeat in my brain as I pushed the door open.

    'Good afternoon Ma'am ! Seats for two I presume?

    No, I just need seat for one, not two this time.

    'Yes. Thank you very much'

    I put down my bag and looked around.

    Love. Everywhere.

    The only odd one out in the cafe was me. Alone. The other people in the café probably didn't care I was alone. But in my mind they did, so I tried to act like I was waiting for someone.

    But how long could I fool random strangers. When the waiter came with the order I just looked at him and said, ' One Hazelnut Frappe'

    'That's it Ma'am?'

    Oh how I wish it wasn't.

    'Yes, thank you'

    I took a book outta my bag and tried to read it but stupid association centre of my brain just would not comprehend the beautiful piece of literature. Damn.

    "Hey, I need help'"he said

    "What?"

    "There's this girl, I really like, and I don't know how to approach her"

    "Oh-my-god! Who is she?"

    I never realised I could hide my feelings so well till that day. I did not realise how emotionally strong I was till that day. I didn't realise that I could genuinely love a person so much, that I'd do anything to make them happy even though it meant my heart being pulverised into pieces.

    "Ma'am, your Hazelnut Frappe'

    Sometimes you don't know where memories take you, you're probably staring at something but all you see is the movie of your past. As I broke outta my memory trance, I realised I wasn't the only one who was sitting alone. A foreigner, was sitting in the table next to me and he unlike me, was enjoying sitting alone. As his eyes caught mine, he smiled at me.

    " Hello!"

    Friendly. That was my first impression of him.

    "Hey!"

    " Pretty hot here, huh? How do you Indians manage?" , he said as he was wiping off the sweat of his face and looking for the nearest air conditioner.

    The summer heat I can manage, but the heat generated by the turmoil in my heart is something I'm sweating about.

    "It's okay, we're used to it I guess, and if we do feel very hot we come to a cafe like this and order something cold" I pointed to his hot coffee

    He chuckled

    " I'm Steve"

    Steve.

    "I'm Farhan"

    "Hi Farhan! I'm Chandrayee"

    It was fun to see the perplexed look on his face after he heard my name. Outta all the confused post-hearing-my- name faces I'd seen so far that was the cutest and the funniest.

    "I'm Chandrayee"

    No look at all.

    He'd probably heard so many Indian weird names that he didn't even really care anymore.

    "So you're here alone?" He asked

    I looked down at my Frappe and pretend like it wasn't a big deal.

    "Yeah, going home. Thought I'd just grab something cold. You?"

    "I was supposed to meet a friend, now that he isn't here, here I am sipping hot brewed coffee"

    "Where are you from?" I took a sip from my frappe. Damn. It didn't taste like it should've. Too much sugar.

    "Ohio"

    "That's pretty neat"

    "Yeah"

    Silence. So that was it. We as two complete strangers had nothing to talk about and neither was I interested in saying anything. The frappe disaster spoiled my already troubled mood.

    I got up and as I did, he looked up and said, "you're leaving?"

    "Yeah. I have to catch the metro"

    "I wanted to say something to you. Don't mind please"

    I froze.

    "Chandrayee, I have to say something to you. Don't mind. Please"

    I tried to put on my 'I'm okay' look but I knew what was coming.

    "The thing is, I'm scared. I'm scared that you like me alot and I can't really like you back the way you do. I like you, but not enough. I'm sorry."

     

    "Depends on what you say, but yeah I'll try not mind" I put down my bag in the seat in front of him

    "I've been practicing this thing, I learnt it from my friend, talking to God and trying to hear what he says and as I sat with you, I got this feeling. He was trying to say something and I thought I'd share it with you. You don't mind right?

    Had this been some random Indian I would've scoffed on his face and asked him to mind his business. But coming from an American, I could really try to believe this isn't hocus pocus.

    "Go on"

    "God says he loves you.."

    I thought God loved everybody, why would especially say that to me. I'm just a heartbroken girl.

    "… And he knows you're really confused right now. You do deserve an answer. But he wants you to give it sometime. Give it a little bit of time and everything will be clear."

    I had a lump in my throat and I could feel my eyes getting wet. I picked up my bag and smiled at him.

    "Thank you. I appreciate you sharing it with me"

    He smiled back.

    And as I was about to leave, he looked at me with a queer face and said

    "You have a really weird name"

    I laughed and waved at him

    Someone's perplexed face made it to the top of the list.

     

  • White Emotions

    White Emotions

    This story gives us an insight into the mind of a young girl going through an unfortunate 'planned break up' . It's about her inability to express the right emotion.

     

    I looked at the approaching metro. I looked at it and then looked at him. Probably, this would be the metro that separates us forever.

    Probably.

    ‘’ It seems really crowded, don’t you think so? “I said, looking at him

    He chuckled and put his arms around my shoulder. I scanned the computer screen to see when the next metro would be arriving.

    One minute.

    My heart sank. He kept on observing my actions waiting for me to say something, or cry maybe but I was doing neither.

    “ We should’ve done that, you know , the break up kiss” He decided to speak

    He had this unique ability of voicing out my thoughts . Sometimes, especially times like this it felt so eerie. As a child mom always told me that the back of head has an invisible television screen that only she could see and it portrayed all my thoughts. I still believe that. I wonder if he could see the invisible television screen.

    I could see the lights of the metro that was coming. I could also feel his eyes fixed on me.

    I looked at his face and tried to smile.

    “The next one, not this one”

    He didn’t chuckle this time, just pulled me into a really awkward hug which just invited judgmental looks from many people.

    “There are times when I felt you never loved me back…” I blurted out like an idiot. “… And I know it souds crazy , right? Cause I know you love me but at times I felt like this and I couldn’t help it. And also I never liked your friend Heena, actually I was really really jealous of her but then I never told you because I’d sound like those typical clingy girlfriends and I did not want to be that”

    Phew. I took a breath and looked at him.

    “ I’m speechless. “ He said

    Obviously you are.

    I could hear the next metro arriving. This was it. I had to get on this one.

    “This is it, board this metro ok?” He wasn’t looking at me anymore.

    Out of all the ‘last moment stuff to say’ I chose to say something that completely ruined the moment. He looked hurt and my facial muscles forgot how to portray any form of expression. So this actually was it.

     The Break Up.

     In my head I had always tried to imagine what today would be like. Never ever in my head did I expect it to go like this.  Vedant had to go to Mumbai for his job and he realized that it wouldn’t be possible for us to continue with our relationship as both of us have had bad experiences with long distance relationships in the past. So this was our planned break up.

    My mind was juggling with emotions at that time. And just like all the colours when mixed together become white, all my emotions had been mixed together and became white . I felt numb, but in a sad way but did not want to ruin the moment by being sad,  a part of wanted to be happy and chirpy.

    The metro door opened.

    I looked at him, and then looked at his lips. I wanted to kiss them. I wanted time to stop and I wanted to hold him and never let go of him. I wanted to cry and ask him to stay. I wanted to ask him to give the long distance relationship a shot. I wanted him to be mine forever. I wanted to relive those moments- standing in the bookshop for hours and discussing about books, the long night texts, the dead honest moments. Everything.

    “ So it’s goodbye then?”

    Nothing came out. Just White Emotions.