It’s a story about a child who comes to study in a big city from a poor family.
Once upon a time, there was a simple, intelligent and handsome boy who was most loved by his family. His grandparents mainly take care of him. His uncle takes care of his studies. After his uncle’s death, his parents plan to shift him to the city to study. The move to the city isn’t a small thing for his family. His parents were nervous and always said one thing, “Beta waha jaka padna ab, sirf sona nahi, sona kam kam”.
After settling in a new city, he went to a tutoring institute and made new friends. He begins to enjoy his life with them and explore his life. He skips tutoring classes with his friends and starts smoking. He falls into the bad culture. After living an aimless life, he forgets all the dreams, which he set, when he came to the great city. He forgets the advice of his parents. He begins to lie to his parents. He has taken the opposite direction in life.
As time runs out, he starts to get bored with his life, he begins to find the purpose of his life, so his friends suggest, finding a girl for time-pass.
As the years passed, he destroyed his parents’ dreams and expectations that our son would save us from poverty. He did not pass a single exam, he failed in every aspect of his life because he never picked up a book or attended classes.
He falls in love with the girl he finds for time-pass. But his parents do not agree with his marriage. So he goes opposite to his family and blackmails them saying, I will kill myself if you don’t let me marry. After some time, he meets another girl and starts dating her also. He starts cheating on true love, over whom he has fought with his parents. When his new girlfriend found out that he already had a girlfriend, she broke up with him.
Finally, the day came when his true love broke up with him also, without giving him a reason. Breakups are very hurtful for boys, but only when girls do it first. He starts looking for the reason why she broke up with me.
He starts acting like a “majnuu” and falls into depression over time. Once he knows his true love is dating someone. He gets all the answers to his life. He starts visualising his whole life. He opens his eyes and sees how he wasted his life and his parents’ dream of eradicating poverty.
He gets the reason for the separation from his love, “You are unemployed at the age of 30”, and he gets the answer, “You are not loyal to your parents, how can I trust you?”
After that, he starts to work on his growth and help his parents in day-to-day life.
He struggles for money for a very long time because he wasted all his parents’ money to enjoy a purposeless life. Now he is paying the price for all his bad deeds.
You reap what you sow
He gets everything back that he sows in his life.
After 3 years of hard work and struggle, he got a job, by remembering the slang that his true love give him the reason for the breakup, that you are unemployed at the age of 30. This is how a girl destroyed his life and also made his life again.
Now he lives a meaningful life with his family again.
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It provides a promising premise for a narrative with potential for growth, self-discovery, and overcoming challenges. However, the execution of this story falls short in several areas.
The protagonist’s journey begins with hope and potential as he moves to the city to pursue education. The initial portrayal of his family’s love and support, especially his uncle’s role in his studies, sets the stage for the character’s development. Unfortunately, the story quickly takes a turn when the protagonist falls into a life of bad habits and poor choices, neglecting his studies and forgetting his dreams.
The narrative then focuses on his romantic relationships, which further complicate his life. The introduction of the first girlfriend seems arbitrary, and the subsequent deception and infidelity do little to deepen the protagonist’s character or create a meaningful storyline. The breakup with his true love lacks clarity, as the reason for their separation is revealed indirectly and without much substance.
It is only after these series of setbacks and a period of reflection that the protagonist realizes the errors of his ways. His self-realization and subsequent efforts to rebuild his life and help his family depict a redemptive arc, albeit a predictable one. The story does highlight the importance of loyalty, hard work, and the consequences of one’s actions.
The narrative structure could benefit from more consistent pacing and a stronger focus on character development. The supporting characters, such as the family and friends, remain underdeveloped, limiting the emotional depth of the story. Additionally, the shift in the protagonist’s perspective and growth could have been more gradual and nuanced, rather than abruptly occurring after a single revelation.
The story’s message, “You reap what you sow,” is a familiar moral lesson, but it lacks subtlety and fails to delve deeper into the complexities of life. While the protagonist eventually finds employment and a sense of purpose, the story could have explored the deeper impact of his transformation on his relationships and personal fulfillment.
In summary, it attempts to convey the consequences of poor choices and the path to self-discovery. However, the narrative falls short in character development, pacing, and delivering a nuanced exploration of its themes. With stronger execution and deeper emotional resonance, this story could have had a more profound impact on its readers.
Good one 👍
The story has a promising premise, but I felt that the execution fell a bit short. The protagonist’s journey from struggles to success could have been more compelling with stronger character development and a smoother pacing. The romantic relationships introduced in the story felt a bit forced and could have been explored in a more meaningful way. Overall, the story carries a valuable message about the consequences of our actions and the importance of hard work and loyalty. With some improvements in pacing, character development, and emotional depth, your story has the potential to make a deeper impact on readers.