When my brother called me out of nowhere to ask me, he more like order me to join him. He was going to stay at our cabin in the woods. I was shocked as well as angry. I had a few meetings this week which if I would have missed, I would have suffered some losses but given that my brother recently had a divorce, I figured that maybe he was just lonely and needed some company. I agreed.
Once we met, I saw he was all jolly and excited about the trip. I know that with so much going on in his life he must be going through the turmoil of emotions but I was glad he was dealing with it and trying his best to move on and enjoy his life more.
Luckily our cabin was near a water body, so we decided it will be fun to go boating. It’s been so long since we had done that. When we were kids, we use to do it after every 2 weeks. But once our dad died, we kind of stopped doing it, all the memories were just too much for us to bear. We paddled our boat for a few minutes before finding a perfect spot for us to sit and fish. As we were collecting fish and talking, I noticed he sometimes looked sad in between. I said to him that I know he thinks that I am not a good listener but at least he could try. Try to share, try him. He looked confused as if I am talking rubbish out of nowhere. So, I asked him directly. I asked him how he is dealing with his divorce. And all he said was he is doing good. This just made me angry. I snapped at him and said, “Is this why you look so sad and have avoided all the contacts that I have tried to make with you?”. After his divorce, I tried to be there for him, make time for him and support him, but despite all my efforts he just never accepted it. I decided to let him be. He needed time so I gave it to him. But this time I just couldn’t. I was tired of him dealing with all of this alone and I had not been able to help him deal with all of this. He looked at me and just smiled. He said “I am sorry that I have been so distant with you lately. I was just trying to figure out….you know….my divorce. Throughout our whole marriage, I tried everything to make her happy and yet she was not happy. Our date nights use to turn into arguments or normal conversations use to turn into arguments, soon we just stopped having date nights or conversations. It was defiantly not a good idea to do so but for some reason that was what made us happy. One day we just decided to end our marriage. And everyone, after that came to me and talked to me as if I am the most heartbroken person. They looked at me with those sad and pitiful eyes, I hated it. And yes, I was heartbroken, but I was tired of people meeting me and just asking me how I am doing or how I am dealing. I just decided it’s best to just deal with it alone. And I am glad I did, I realized that not all divorces are bad. I and my wife were just different people with different sets of thinking. That does not mean one of us was a bad partner. We just do not fit together. Why does it have to be that every time a relationship ends there needs to be a person at fault? In our case, no one was at fault. we were not young but we were also not old. We still had a life ahead of us. You know what they say “Find someone who speaks your language so that you don’t have to spend your lifetime translating your soul”. So, we did that. We were not able to speak each other’s language. And we were not going to spend the rest of our life translating our souls to each other.”
“So, you are saying that you are happy that you guys broke off your marriage?”
“yes”
“Then why do you look sad?”
“Well, I am sad, not because we broke up, but because sometimes I sit and imagine me and my wife doing all of this together, and sadly, we won’t be able to do it, well not as a couple at least.”
“Hmmmmm, I am sure you will find someone who you can spend all of this lovely time with. But until then, I guess you will call me out of nowhere and do it with me.”’
“Are you complaining?”
“No, no I am not”
“Good”