While lying naked on her dead husband’s bed with Evan made Daisy’s heart come up with several questions, questions which brought the cheese burger back to her mouth which she gobbled up during lunch, questions such as; was hooking up with Evan really filling the empty holes which Steve left inside her soul? does Steve still hate her? and most importantly how can Evan be okay with this? Its been 5 months since Steve passed because of a car accident and 3 months since Daisy has been sleeping up with Evan, Steve’s best friend. Daisy’s regrets all the train of scenes of her life that her brain starts replaying, her meeting with Evan in Steve’s funeral, later after months her going to his house for just a ‘drink’ to gulp down the sorrow through a sip, her letting him kiss away all the wounds which Steve left on her body. Maybe Steve hates her more than the pain of scars which bloomed on Daisy’s body given by him. But she slept with Steve’s best friend Evan, maybe this was worse than that.
“You ok?” Evan mouthed looking at Daisy while he was talking with someone on his phone maybe one of his colleague. He worked at the same office where Steve used to work. They both were recruited by the same company from their common college.
“Yes kind of Evan rubbed his thumb over Daisy’s hand which was already threaded with his. Sleeping over after the hookup wasn’t the part of this whole system when they first started doing all this. But once when Evan saw Daisy having a panic attack right after they slept together made it difficult for him to leave, how cruel it would be for Evan to have sex with his ‘dead best friend’s wife and then leaving her right after even when she was having park attack?
“Is it Steve? you miss him right?” Daisy mumbled an inaudible answer which got faded beneath Evan’s skin as she suppressed her tears in his arm.
“Its okay, I miss him too and he misses you too, he loves you so much Daisy”
“No he doesn’t” Daisy made her voice feeble enough to not to reach through Evan’s ear. The wounds which burnt on her skin have always been aided by Evan’s soft lips, by his touch. Even her wounded heart is being mended by him. But Daisy decided on never telling Evan the truth behind those scars even though he may have asked about it for thousand times. She decided to make Steve the kind of person who becomes a hero in everyone’s life after his death.
But not until today.
“He doesn’t miss me, he didn’t ever loved me Evan, your best friend was a monster and will remain a monster even after he died.” Annoyance framed Evan’s face when he climbed off the bed and grabbed his shirt and wore it.
“Oh and how is that so?” anger perked up upon Evan’s ears when he looked at Daisy, but when he noticed something shimmering inside Daisy’s eyes, maybe a tear? he urged to comfort her which he would usually do. Evan was in love with Daisy and he realized this the day he felt that his empty soul would fill each time he became the reason behind Daisy’s smile. She barely smiled but when she does Evan can see a whole amusement park lighten up. Daisy was a missing piece in Evan’s puzzle. Even though the puzzle would never be solved but he enjoyed the pain it caused in his soul seeing the piece lurking in front of his eyes, the pain made him feel alive.
He had her yet he didn’t had her. Daisy saw this whole hooking up thing just as a distraction but to Evan it was never just hooking but to him he was making love to Daisy.
But as much as he loves Daisy, Steve was still his best friend and forever will be. Unless he knew something that’ll flip everything up.
“Trust me you wouldn’t want to know”
“Oh yeah? so now you’ll be like ‘Hey Evan actually your best friend was a monster and now I want you to hate him’ just without any reason? and if it is so never ever think about it cause that guy was my buddy and you ain’t ever crossing that line”
Before Evan could change his expression any further he was exposed to the bare body of Daisy when she took off the blanket and stood in front of him.
Ok so you wanna know what he did to me? this all this, the scars. the wounds of which you are fond of from these past 3 months. he gave me those, he hit me each time I would wear something like, he hit me each time a guy would smile at me wherever we went, he hit me each time I would spend money on something I like, each time would forget to polish his shoes, each time the salt was more in the bacon and each time the bacon wasn’t crispy enough he would place the hot burning pan on my body. Want to know more?“
By the time Daisy finished speaking she was a messy puddle of emotions barely holding up, just then Evan wrapped her around the blanket.
“I-im so sorry for lashing out on you, i-i think i need a minute.” Every time he nudged on Daisy’s scar, pain blossomed in his heart and his curiosity to know the criminal behind those scars increased day by day. And he promised that his soul won’t even breathe once if he didn’t killed the person who was the reason behind the pain that Daisy had to go through. But now that he knows the sinner behind those marks on the body of the women he loves is the same man who once was the husband of that women and who once used to be his best friend. He heard his own heart cracking with a sound that endured in the form of Daisy’s scream. Evan’s ears perked up.
Daisy’s breath paced with speed as sweat droplets started inclining on her pale face and Evan dropped on his knees. patted Daisy’s back while he cupped her face and placed it on his shoulder. “Calm down flower, its gonna be ok hmm?” and it was the moment when Evan realized that he addressed Daisy with ‘flower, the same name he would call her with in his dreams about Daisy.
He wiped his cheek and with a smirk beheld on his face, he said “He was a shit and will remain a shit, my best friend died the moment he pained you for the first time Daisy, no one will ever be above for me than your pain, you scars. your wounds, your tears and you-
“What the hell am I to you? Daisy broke apart from Evan’s embrace and stood on her feet while the blanket draped around her waist. “Who am ] to you? and why does my pain causes you to tear up Evan? this? all this between us just an arrangement to decrease my pain, to fulfill the loneliness in your heart and moreover this was alw mistake we were never supposed to be with each other and in this situation and in this way. I want you to leave now and never come back to me ever again”
“But if i will leave now I will never get the chance to tell you that..” He gulped the bloating formed inside his throat.
“Tell me what? tell me that you sympathize with me? tell me that im a widowed women who was abused by her husband? tell me what Evan? tell me what?”
“Tell you that i love you Daisy, tell you that i love you so much flower that each time I touched or kissed your scars they felt like as if they were mine, tell you that i want to be the healer of your wounded soul-
“I want you to leave-
“Now, fucking now, leave my house Evan” and with that the door closed with thud. The only thing which remained was silence. Silence engulfed the room purely, dark silence. Just silence and silence.
Mondays were the days which were legally chosen as the meetup days for Daisy with her 2 year old daughter on the custody papers which was under the grandmother of Lily and mother of Steven. So, as planned Daisy made Lily’s favorite cinnamon flavored pancakes and brought pink balloons with her. Lily was supposed to be with Daisy but according to her dear grandmother, Daisy was in pain and was toxic enough to not take care of her child. 5 days after Steven’s death, Steven’s mother Clara hired a lawyer and took Lily with her. And it ached the most when even after knowing the real truth about her son, Clara still decided to keep Daisy’s daughter away from her. Its been months and Clara barely speaks with her.
“Mommy” out of everything in this whole universe, this word was the purest form of satisfaction that Daisy heard, this word melts in Daisy’s heart just like a lump of sugar in a child’s mouth. Yes, Lily might not be aware of anything that Daisy is going through, she might not be aware of anything about her dad, that what a monster her dad was, she might not be aware of anything that Daisy might feel for Evan, she doesn’t knows the best side of her mommy. neither does she knows the bad side of her mommy, she just knows that someone in this world should be called mommy. She doesn’t knows her mommy. And here Clara was the only one at fault.
“I think you should marry someone or start seeing someone” Clara’s words echoed in the empty heart of Daisy twice and she stood there like a cemented pillar.
“Lily won’t you like to share these mommy made pancakes with your neighborhood bestie?” Daisy held up her smile as she saw Lily going but her expression turned rigid as she faced towards Clara.
“Oh so after barely speaking with me for these months you seriously decided to say this as a first thing to me?”
“And i think Evan would be perfect for that”
“Woah Clara, Clara,Clara…i guess you need to hold up because i know you’ve been on good terms with Evan but that does not confirm that im going to marry him. Clara the purpose of my life isn’t to find Steve’s replacement and its not like im gonna find one heh because your son was one of a kind, anyways we ain’t going that way but whatever it is I am hell not marrying Evan, i just need my daughter and that’s all I came here for, I wanted to meet her and i did –
“I’ll give you Lily’s custody” Clara gulped while Daisy stood their feet embedded to the marble like a stop sign.
“You will what?” she asked while laughing mockingly.
“Yeah i will do that because once you marry a nice man, I will think that you have a stability to handle my
“Um-excuse me but I don’t think I require marrying Evan for the so called stability?”
“Evan is a nice person and don’t you think you want your daughter to yourself more than considering your go above my offer?”
Its been 2 weeks since Daisy last saw Evan, since then she hasn’t heard from him neither did she try. Maybe Evan was too embarrassed with the get out situation that happened 2 weeks ago. Daisy never got out from her bed since the statement which Clara mentioned has now started echoing inside her eardrums. She tried considering that statement, not considering it and then once again reconsidering it. She hasn’t have a bite gulped down her throat since that day other than the bowl of cornflakes she has in the morning each day while having a video call with her daughter. She may have a mild fever too but she never bothered to check it.
“What should I freaking do?” Daisy listened herself echoing around the 4 walls in which she have been caged by her surrounding thoughts.
She touched her scars all over her body and thought about how Evan would caress them with his tender fingers and with feeble lips. And how every time she’s around him, she-
“Should I come in?” Daisy heard a familiar voice of a man from whom she hasn’t heard in days, whose voice wraps around her like a warm cardigan, whose voice fills all the empty holes inside her soul.
“Hey you all right? Clara said that Lily wanted to meet you because you looked sad so i came here to check up on you”
“Hey you all right? Clara said that Lily wanted to meet you because you looked sad so i came here to check up on you
And it was the moment when Daisy realize that, every time she’s around him, he fixes a part of her, he fixes those parts of her which he never broke, parts which she lost of her own soul while fixing her married life, parts which her dead husband stole from her, parts and bits of her happiness. Evan returned all of them or maybe formed new ones with more life in them. And it was THE moment where Daisy realized that her fear of men treating her like shit and giving her wounds ended the day Evan started healing her scars.
“I mean if you don’t want me here ill walk out I just wanted to make sure you are doing okay, I will leave-
“I guess I love you” Evan eyes furred curiosity while his mouth opened to say something but it never did.
“Look flower, Clara told me everything so if you’re doing this just in order to get custody of Lily then trust me I have better plans. I will help you receive it but please don’t force yourself in-
And after days for the first time Daisy jerked up from her bed and before Evan completed his words further, his words melted inside his mouth as Daisy placed her lips on Evan’s and engulfed the words from his mouth
“I don’t think you get it Evan I love you and I really do, you complete me, I want Lily to be a part of us. this puzzle that we both couldn’t solve until today, I want Lilly but with you Evan, im not complete without you and I don’t want part of me lurking in front of my eyes, which is the Evan part. I want you to kiss my scars forever, I want you to love me forever, I want you to fill my empty pieces and I want to fill your empty pieces while my daughter plays with them. will you let me?”
“Our daughter Daisy, our lily” Evan said while tears of happiness glittered in his eyes.
The couple chuckled while the cupid laughed over one more successful match made by him.