Life was sober back then. Things were not happy, I was not happy but yet life was sober.
My heart was heavy with the remembrance of my passed love and my mind still resembled to carry it forward.
For what they call this is midlife crises and one must suffer through this to hear own crying voices.
There was no darkness but there was no light either.
The full moon reminded me of what I had lost but the sun still managed to emerge brighter.
The colour of the walls did not change but the rains painted a whole new vague.
Happiness did not vanquish my pain and every time I listened to their minds, my life went down in vain.
I continued to get depressed by their sayings as my self-confidence was unbalanced by their doings.
I know how seamy I was as a person but their mendacious thoughts woo me in person.
Their thoughts corrupted me into a hive; my body just got less unrealistic and showed error in my file.
Although I wanted to shout and take out all which was crowded above. Tell each and every story about my scars. Let someone know how I have gotten so far.
Interpret every scene that hurt me in time but wait did I mention that crying too was a crime?
I wanted to hog but I forgot that I was a female hog myself.
I always indulgent but never received and I always wondered why would it be.
One fine day, when I was reassuring that I was alive; I had a thought of bringing someone in my life.
But does miracle are sold out in stores? Because all I had in my jean’s pocket was some penny or more.
And god is gracious because so are our deeds.
Because He sent a guardian angel for me to flee But he built him up so far from me.
Distance only made me laud him but galaxies were moving inside me.
I did not think that my life will offer so much to rely on as it always gave me sorrows to be cried on.
But after all of these frightful nights, I have got the most mature, intelligent and stubborn man who is now my knight.
For what my life is still not stabled and challenges do hit me once a while.
But today, after so much of suffering, I am not afraid of falling in their alchemy as I only see a strong and independent woman coming out of me.
I did not get a touch or a glimpse of my man but he did give me what I was in need by then.
“Strength, Power, Dignity, Capacity, Patience and most importantly an ally.
An ally with whom I have aligned my life and A lover who alkalises all of the lies.
A fighter who teaches me to fight, a believer who believes me in night!
I want to give all of me to him but he refuses because his mind too complicates.
Guilt I have in my heart to say but he never lets me to say.
And sometimes, just sometimes we fight! Irrespective of the topic we stay wide awake and we fight. Whether to choose love or friendship can’t decide.
Though we want to get loved, we keep silence and say not a word.
We want each other but the past does not let us come together.
We try to give our best but the distance is such a waste.
The time taught us how to ignore each other but the concern bonds us even tighter together.
Honestly, I never expected love from anyone. Every time I did disappointments knocked me down. As I got closer to loneliness in the sea of worthless agendas, I was drowned.
BUT.. Because there is always a but!
But once I read a wonderful magic line saying “YOU’LL BE SOMEONES’S BEST THING” that piece of percept was definitely a mush but on reading that my fat cheeks experienced a blush because today when I struggle to get my goals and fly through the endless skies of sorrows, I do have that one best person.
I have someone who is as pure as 24 carat gold.
I have someone who woos me with his terrified loaded words.
I have someone who lets me rely on.
I have someone who admires me to grow with pride.
I have someone with whom I can finally fall in love.
His name starts with an “A” and ends with a “T”, all I can think of are his hands and merely his cheek.
His arrogance sometimes makes me a bitch but his big black eyes tickle me a bit.
His short height is a concern for him but that idiot does not now my craving.
Every time we have a phone call, his voice rejoices me. His unintentional breathing smoothens me.
His polite gesture takes me to a wonderland but His apprehension often takes me to a crash-land.
Now, I am determined to say this with a joy on my face that yes, yes I am happy.
My life is more sober than before and I am happy.
I do not fear anything.
I overcame burdens and left harmful emotions.
I no longer sit in a corner and cry but I cherish every moment and be alive.
And now I look back and ask why…
I know why, because that day he happened to me!