It was the day of Anant Chaturthi of 2018, I (21m) was 19 y/o at that time. The vibe was very positive at that day, I was attending the Visarjana of the Ganesha of our complex. My friend Raghav (21m) was with me. We were of the same age, it was 1:00 at midnight. The place was bhayandar khadi(gulf), that place is already well known for its crime rate. I and Raghav, we both were going towards our home by walking and it was 1.2km away so it almost takes 1 hour by walk. Raghav got call from his home, his dad was scolding him since we both were outside for 7 hours now. But, instead of normal scolding his dad scolded him very badly, he was mad that’s why he put his phone to silent mode. We were half way there to our complex, suddenly we saw a bottle of wine crashing on the road and it shattered all around the road in a particular region. Phew! Grateful that I was not near that area where pieces of glass were shattered, I said to myself. And then we saw a fully drunk guy, of course we knew it was a signal of threat. Yes, a THREAT!!! And you know what was a bigger threat? Raghav being short tempered and he was also mad at that time. I knew if something happens Raghav will react in a bad way, I was wishing that this doesn’t become a street fight. We started walking again, after few steps the drunk guy was also coming towards us. Maybe his home was at khadi, we were facing towards that drunk man and he asked. How much for that watch? none of your business, I said. Notification popped up, He saw phone’s wallpaper which was my mom and me in the picture. How much for that bitch? He asked. Well, you know what can happen, I pulled my sleeves and fixed my finger-rings. Raghav was staring at his eyes like death. You want to be dead? The drunk guy said. Raghav said, not us, but you. Well, she is a bitch that is why I said bitch, he said. Not even a second and my punch landed on his face, it was brutal because I wore rings at that time. The drunk man was running towards me, he fell. Raghav tackled him, well Raghav was a tank according to me, 6’2 and a 102 kg man. No doubt because the drunk guy fell so hard and far. We thought it was the end, but the drunk guy stood up with a piece of glass in his hand. What will you expect in a street fight, he ran towards Raghav. He scratched the hand of Raghav; Raghav punched him and I kicked him on his head. I am grateful that kick was not brutal or else I was in jail right know for attempt to murder. The drunk man fell due to loss of consciousness and we ran towards our complex. Next day we both again got there to check is he alright and he was not there. Maybe he was okay or…. maybe dead. Well, we did not regret it now because it made us more experienced in street fight. But we don’t do it usually until it is necessary.
Jun 27
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It was a short and sweet story. I’m glad it was didactic. However, I do hope you pay attention to detail, especially to the grammar. You seem to have good stories, but I hope you articulate it well, gramatically. Be careful with the punctuations and speeches. I want to read a sequel of Raghav’s next story or maybe whom the drunk guy called “the bitch,” did he know his mother? Maybe they were together at some point? I’m glad you’ve left this open-ended question.
thank you for the review, i am working on a sequel; i hope i complete it soon 🙂
It is an intense and gripping story that captures a late-night encounter filled with suspense and danger. The author effectively builds up the atmosphere, immersing the reader in the events that unfold. The narrative presents a vivid portrayal of the characters’ emotions, particularly Raghav’s short temper and the protagonist’s fear of escalating violence. However, the narrative suffers from numerous issues that hinder its effectiveness. The writing style lacks refinement and coherence, with choppy sentences and abrupt transitions.
The story recounts a dangerous encounter on Anant Chaturthi, but falls short in delivering a compelling narrative. The writing lacks depth and fails to engage readers beyond the surface level. Character development is minimal, leaving them one-dimensional and lacking emotional resonance.
Furthermore, the story glorifies violence and street fights, presenting them as a means of gaining experience rather than exploring alternative solutions. This sends a troubling message to readers, as it undermines the importance of non-violent conflict resolution.
In terms of storytelling, the plot lacks originality and fails to offer any surprises or twists. The events unfold predictably, leaving little room for suspense or tension. Additionally, the prose suffers from grammatical and punctuation errors, detracting from the overall reading experience.
Overall, this story falls short in capturing the reader’s attention and fails to deliver a meaningful message. It requires substantial improvements in character development, plot progression, and writing quality to create a more engaging and thought-provoking narrative.
The flow of the story was quite good, it wasn’t what I’d call ideal but the way he started the night and ended it on a sort of a cliffhanger on the whereabouts of the drunk person they had encountered, was intriguing, i would like to know more about his excerpts as they seem fun and both, the writer and his friend seem to know each other well, making a good duo to follow around
Hey author! I read your story “The Late-Night Aggression” and it was quite intense and gripping. The suspense and danger kept me hooked, and I liked how you built up the atmosphere. However, there were a few areas that could use some improvement. The writing style felt a bit choppy and the transitions between scenes were abrupt. Also, there were some grammar and punctuation errors that could be fixed. Overall, it was an intriguing read, but focusing on refining the writing and adding more depth to the characters would make it even better. Keep up the good work!