I never knew this day would come.
I could hear his footsteps approaching near the cupboard I was hid in. Tears would not stop falling from my face. My heart was screaming and that’s when it hit me that the saying had been true ‘it is always the quiet ones’.
‘Aditi’ he said in a maniacally absurd voice.
I just wished I could go back in time and make all of this right. That was all I could think of in what I think were the last moments of my life. I just wished I never met Ryan ever in my life. I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking what had happened over the past two months and what a mistake I’ve made in my life.
2 MONTHS AGO
‘Ryan’ was the most beautiful word I had ever known in my life. He had a delicate face with soft features and piercing eyes. He changed my entire life in just a few minutes.
We met through a mutual friend of ours for brunch and that’s when we started casually chatting up. I being an extrovert just wanted to adopt the introvert him and love him for the rest of his life. I kinda liked him and…
Yeah. I just could not find words to describe him. That was how badly he had affected me.
‘Aditi you’re pretty’ he said. And nothing more.
I could feel the blush creeping up in my cheeks.
Ever since that day we chatted, video called and met up at weekends.
The days went on and on. On one pleasant Saturday morning, we were at the beach looking at the sunrise and talking. I just bared my whole soul to him trusting him with my life.
‘Ryan I know you like me’. I said
‘Aditi I know you like me’. He said
We looked into each other’s eyes and shared our first kiss drenching into the warm rays of the sun and in the depth of each other’s love.
Ryan wanted us to move in together.
‘Too soon’ I said to Ryan.
‘I love you’ he said.
The honeymoon phase of us living together was the most beautiful until he started placing restrictions on me. He stopped me from going outside with my friends.
‘I’m jealous’ he said.
‘That is so cute’ I said.
But his demands started growing and I started to disobey him, feeling why the hell should I obey him in the first place.
He started being abusive verbally. I forgave him. He became more commanding towards me; I still forgave until it reached to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.
‘I’m leaving’ I said.
‘You are not going anywhere’ he screamed.
He hit me in the head. I felt the world spinning and heard him screaming ‘I’m doing this for you’.
My head felt heavy when I woke up and Ryan was nowhere to be found. I tried the door and windows but they were locked. I felt myself panicking not knowing what to do I ran into the kitchen picked the sharpest knife and hid in the cupboard.
RYAN RYAN RYAN RYAN was all my head could process. I never felt such a terror in my life. He stopped in front of the cupboard and inhaled a deep breath.
He opened the door with a creepy smile. I smiled back apologized for my behavior. He lifted his arms for me.
I stabbed him. I ran away after making his death seem like a suicide. No police enquiry happened and the case closed pretty quickly.
A YEAR LATER
Now standing in the same beach with another guy holding my hand where I shared my shared first kiss with Ryan. I did not feel any regret. I protected myself from someone who wanted to hurt me. I accept it was wrong but I don’t know.
I’m human. I have my emotions and my own feelings to process. Sometimes the wrong can feel right. Initially I had problems in dealing what I had done but with the right person by my side I just want to start afresh. I’m happy.
I DO NOT FEEL ANY REGRET.