What the hell is going on here? Was the first thing I thought of as I opened my eyes. I didn’t know where I was and how I got there, the last thing I remember was walking back from the café I work at as a barista, I was a few blocks away from my apartment building when I saw someone on the sidewalk on their hands and knee, groping around in the dim light of the lamp post, looking for something. As I walked up to him, I noticed how good he looked. He looked to be around my age, he had black messy hair, a tan complexion, a fairly sharp jaw line and had good cloths on, over all a good looking guy. I stopped a few steps away from him and called to him and when he looked up to me, I saw the clearest and most deep green colored eyes ever. After I got over how good he looked, I decided to ask him if he needed help with something. He looked at me as if he was thinking of taking me up on my offer or not and then after a few seconds, smiled, thanked me and said he was trying to find his glasses and that he couldn’t see without them.

We got to looking for them and I found them just on the entrance of a darkened alley, I gave them to him and he put them on and he looked like a nerd, a very good looking nerd and I smiled at him, he introduced himself as Jacob Holt, I told him my name, Hope Kinsley. He offered to walk me home as it was quite late now and after trying to assure him that I was fine walking by myself, I eventually caved and let him walk me home, as we walked beside each other we got to talking. He told me that he was coming back from a nearby bookstore where he worked as well; he said that he had taken of his glasses to wipe them clean when a voice startled him and he dropped him on to the sidewalk he had been looking for them for a few minutes until I helped him find them.

I told him about myself and what I do, as we walked I realized that I like this guy, he was interesting and I would like to see him again, as we walked side by side, our shoulders brushed each other a few times and eventually we arrived in front of my building. For some reason I asked him if he would like to come up for a coffee, he refused and said that maybe next time we see each other we could get a coffee together and I liked that idea a lot and told him the same. We exchanged numbers and he asked my house number and I gave it to him. He smiled and said goodbye to me and walked away down the block, back in the direction we came from. I went up to my room, had a microwave dinner, did my routine and went to sleep thinking of Jacob.

The next thing I know, I’m waking up in this dark room, with my head hurting. As my eyes adjust to the dark, I realize that I’m in the clothes I went to sleep in, the room was dark and I could not see much of anything. I was trying to get bearings straight, I heard something outside the door of the room I was in. I slowly got up and went towards the door, my heart pounding in my chest as fear rose in my heart, my throat went dry and I swallowed slowly. I pushed the door open and was blinded by the sudden light, I shielded my eyes and after my eyes adjusted to the light I saw someone in the room tied to a chair, with a black bag over their face. Slowly I went up to the person and took the bag of his head. It was Jacob, his eyes widened when he saw me and he started grunting behind the gag, I quickly pulled of his gag and started to untie him. He started asking me questions about what am I doing here? How did I get here? And where were we. I told him that I did not know anything and was in the same boat as him. I finished untying him and he got up and hugged me tightly, I started tearing up as the panic of what all could happen to settled in. as if sensing what I was thinking, he hugged me tighter and re assured me that we were going to be okay and that we will get out of there alive. His words gave me hope that we were going to make it out.

We looked around in the room and saw that there were no windows in the room, we found a door and tried it. Locked, it was locked, I started to have a breakdown but Jacob helped me calm down. We were in a basement of some sort so we looked around to find something we could use to get out, eventually we found some thin wires and Jake used them to try and picked the lock. The silence as we waited to gear the click of the door lock was deafening. After a few seconds the door clicked open and we opened the door, Jake looked out in the hallway and saw that it was empty, we started walking towards the right as we got to the end of the hallway we realized that this place whatever it was, is bigger than it seemed. We kept going from one hallway to another but could not find the stairs to the upstairs floor, the other doors in the hall were locked as well.

As we walked around I kept hearing something. It was the sound of a person humming a tune but every time I stopped, the humming stopped too. I asked Jake if it was him but he looked at me confused and said that he thought it was me. My fear started to rise again, I started breathing faster and then we both heard that humming again, only this time it was much closer than before, it was right behind us, at the corner of the hallway. Both of us looked at each other and started running straight ahead, my heart hammered in my chest and I in a moment of courage looked behind me and saw someone standing there with pitch black clothes and a mask which has a creepy bloody smile on it. That mask horrified me so much that I actually screamed and just froze. The creepy guy was just looking at us, he tilted hi head to the side to the point where it just had to be painful and slowly started walking towards us. I stayed there completely frozen until Jake shook me grabbed me hand and started running again.

We ran down many hallways and finally stopped to take a breath, after catching our breadth we started walking again. As we started walking again, Jake for some reason started to sing a song, it startled me at first but I didn’t say anything as I was too disturbed by that guy we saw earlier. We kept walking and eventually we saw a narrow staircase going up, we ran to it but in saw that it was locked as well. We decided to look for something again in the cluttered basement to pick the lock when suddenly we heard the humming again. We looked at each other eyes wide with panic and sped up our efforts, the humming kept getting closer to the point where we could here footsteps as well. Eventually Jake found some sort of old heavy mantle piece and started to bash the lock repeatedly. The humming stopped but the footsteps got faster. Jake started going faster as well and the lock gave away.

We opened the door and ran out. We ran down the long, dark hallway and came into an old, dusty living room. We heard the footsteps following us and the humming resumed. We looked around and saw all the windows were boarded up and the backdoor sealed shut with big wooden planks. We crossed and small hallway and came to the front of the house. We found the door. A door closed behind us and I saw the creepy mask guy with a huge knife in hand.

We started running to the door and to my surprise it was unlocked. I pushed it open and grabbed Jake’s hand to pull him out but he didn’t budge. I heard the humming in the far back of the room and turned around to ask Jake what he thought he was doing, but I saw him standing there with a strange expression on his face. I shook his shoulders and told him that we can get out of here, that we were free, my eyes shining with hope and unshed tears. I smiled a little and went to leave again with him but this time he pulled me away from the door. He looked into my eyes and I noticed his eyes looked happy and excited, and he said “you can’t leave the house now, you are going to ruin the game and gave me blinding smile.” Before I could ask what he meant, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and when I looked down I saw a big knife in it, Jacob had stabbed me. He pulled it out and did it again and again until I was choking on my blood. He shushed me and in my confused mind I heard the humming again and realized that the tune belonged to the same song Jacob was singing. As I fell to the floor coughing up blood I saw Jake skipping up the guy with the mask like a child and hug him like he had known him forever. The guy took his mask off and looked at Jake with a wide grin. As my vision started to blur and darken I saw the two of them laughing at me with their arms around each other. As I took my last breath, Jacob came to me and smiled at me said “I love the look of hope leaving your eyes.” The last thing I heard was his laugh.

Responses

  1. Neeti Kapoor

    Well, the story was suspenseful for sure. The idea was pretty great, but there were too many issues with sentence formation. Though the plotline was good, the way the story progressed left a lot of loopholes, which were a little confusing. The story just needs to be a little more detailed; the loopholes need to be filled, and the sentence structure needs improvement. Also, it could be better if the relationship between Jacob and Hope can develop a bit, as it would not make sense if Hope suddenly starts trusting a stranger as soon as she meets him. The ending was a complete turning point, but the character development is lacking a bit. My apologies if you found my criticism rude.