Not just humans, even this doll has a heart too. She is there by your side when you need her but where do you disappear when she is the one that wants you to be present? Someone’s love is not a raincoat that you slip on when there is a storm.
I didn’t go to a school where they taught me the days of the week or for how many hours it took for a sunny day to turn into a blissful night. But I kept track of the moments in my heart that I had to spend alone.
Doesn’t it feel instantaneously secure when in a crowd of strange and unknown people you come across a familiar face? That was the exact feeling I experienced that night when grabbing a cone in her hand, I saw Meghna coming out of the ice cream parlour with her dad. They sat on the bench beside me and I was waiting for the moment when Meghna would notice me and grab me in her comforting arms.
After a couple of minutes of resting there, her dad laid his eyes on me and pointed out to Meghna, “Look there Meghna! Isn’t this the same doll you forgot and lost at school? Doesn’t she look exactly like her?” My heart skipped a beat and I was all geared up to be greeted by Meghna with a white toothed, brushed twice a day smile.
“Eww, daddy, no. This is not my dolly. This is so dirty and ugly. I want a new one. Let’s go home to mommy.” Said Meghna without even giving me a second glance or thought.
I wasn’t just any doll, I was Meghna’s Minni. My chest hurt more than the left hand that I had lost. Now I felt what it was like being rejected and thrown away. Rather than being discarded, it felt better staying untouched. Did looks really matter this much in the human world? Did they only like pretty and clean things? Was I now unfit to breathe in this world of shallow giants?
It pained without actually having a heart. I cried without tears actually flowing. As the night ended, so did my journey with Meghna. Now the only comfort that I would get would lie in some animal’s mouth or in corner trash bins. Small in size and hopes, I had given up to my fate.
As the sun rose again, I opened my eyes only wanting to close them for a while more. I saw a little girl dressed in shabby clothes carrying a water bottle in one of her hands who was staring at me from a distance. She picked me up and took me to her home. Her house didn’t have any bed nor did it have any windows. There were cars passing by all the time and they slept in open on the cold footpath. She didn’t have a blanket to take but wrapped me in her torn dress. That “dirty” cloth felt like the finest silk draped around my body. I figured out that when you are abandoned by one person, someone else in need of you always finds their way.