“Have you seen Yuri around?” I asked a dorm mate in search of my friend Yuri who had borrowed my hair straightener but apparently is now “missing”. Just then I heard a familiar voice “JEON EUNCHAE, I heard you were looking for Yuri, she’s in the hall helping with the decorations” said Jisoo, who is one of my roommates. I live in a dorm since I don’t have the best relationship with my father or step-mother.  My dorm is well known for it’s strictness and disciplinary. My room consists of three other roommates of mine. Considering my College and Dormitory’s history, they’d never let any male creature make it past the gate, but it all changes tonight. My college is hosting a new year’s ball tonight and is sponsored by the city’s mayor since his daughter goes to our college but his request was to let the students bring their own dates. In the midst of the crowd, I found Yuri and asked for my straightener as my hair desperately needed styling! It was time for the Ball “The New Year’s Ball of 1992” it was called so. ALOT of couples and single men were entering the premises, then enters the most JAW-DROPPING Handsome man ever, he doesn’t seem to have a partner with him, one of my roommates boyfriend is inviting his friends to the ball and it’s a blind date for us. “I hope he’s my blind date” I mumble to myself as I move to get some volunteer work done! My roommates boyfriend comes over and introduces us to our dates, I stay still and let my anxiety take over me, I thought I had no chance with him what so ever, “May I have this dance?” he approaches me with the purest smile ever! “My pleasure” I reply as my hand reaches on top of his. “This is no gentlemen way of introducing myself but I’m Han Jeonghan, You look beautiful tonight” he says while in the middle of dancing, “I’m Jeon Eunchae and my pleasure to meet you” I say while my face gets redder than an apple! After the dance, we share a moment by getting to know eachother better, “You don’t look like you can sing trot” he says to me whiling laughing, the smile only lasted for a brief moment!! Suddenly everyone starts screaming, running, tripping over in panic. What caused this sudden panic? I wondered while I walk over towards the crowd in the middle of the ball room, I see four police men with what looked like fully loaded guns in their hands and waist. “We are in search of a North-Korean spy, and we’ve just received information that he’s in this ball room right now, so the suspect better surrender himself before we pull him out of the crowd ourselves” says one of the police men which causes more panic in people. I look around not being able to find Jeonghan. Everyone is being evacuated one by one. I start to panic a little since the situation is getting a pretty serious. I go looking for Jeonghan, I’m in the 3rd floor looking for him and calling out his name, I suddenly heard a noice, it sounded like footsteps. I start to get a little creeped out and wondering if the spy was around. I was caught off guard as someone wrapped their palms against my mouth, grasped my arms tight and pulled me into one of the rooms from the hallway, locks the door and turns around, it’s Jeonghan. I freak out even more, this means that Jeonghan is definitely the spy that the police were looking for. “Listen to me carefully and don’t panic, by now you probably realize what’s happening, I have no intention of hurting you nor will I let you anyone hurt you, I like you a lot and don’t want anything bad happening to you” he says while I still continue to panic. I do not know whether to be happy over the sudden confession of love or be flustered. I like him a lot too but I wonder what will happen to him if the police manage to catch him tonight. He asks me to pretend to be sleeping and have no idea of the situation what so ever while he hides in my room! I do as he says as I do not wish for him to be caught. Just in a while the police are at the door knocking. I pretend to be sleeping so they bust open my door to see…

Responses

  1. Aditi Dubey

    I like how the story was picked up from a conversation. It allowed the story to build up without having to put a detailed description to it. Although, I feel the story jumped from one scene to the next too quickly. As a reader I didn’t get the time to feel as invested with the characters. Certain sentences are too lengthy. I’d hope you focus on either dividing it into two sentences or removing excess conjunctions from it.
    Your storyline seems very interesting. Just pay attention to the grammar. Also the story progressed too quickly so i couldn’t connect with the spy or understand the intensity of the fondness they have for each other hence I felt no remorse for the guy at the end. I love that you left it open to readers interpretation. However, the ending sentence could be better left.