Elisa stood in front of the mirror staring at her body. Though she is at an ideal weight, she still feels fat looking at her body. Lost in her thoughts she suddenly heard her mother calling her name “Elisa come downstairs and have dinner.”
She went downstairs and saw different varieties of food prepared by her mother on the occasion of the new year. She was fasting since the morning and thought that eating a little junk food won’t hurt. She promised herself not to overeat and to indulge in mindful eating. But the moment she took the first bite all the promises she made to herself moments ago vanished and it was nearly impossible for her not to indulge in overeating.
She nearly ate all the dinner alone, stuffing herself with the food to the point where it was nearly impossible for her to even breathe. “It feels soo good to see you eating again like a normal human.” her dad said with a smile because for the last few months, she is trying to do fasting and her dad is obviously against that. She said nothing because her mind was too blank to think of anything. She silently stood up from her chair and went to the washroom.
The moment she locked the door immediately her hands went inside of her mouth trying to push all the ingredients out that she had consumed minutes ago. She forced her fingers back to her throat to the point where she started gagging on them. All the food came from her mouth and spiked everywhere. After forceful vomiting, she looked at herself in front of the mirror and almost gagged at what she saw. Her face looked as if she has aged a decade. The first time she indulged in forceful vomiting she promised herself that this is the first time she is doing such stupid things. But it’s been three months and almost every single day she finds herself shoving her fingers at the back of her throat trying to spill all the contents out of her mouth. There were times when her breath used to stink due to vomiting and she felt dizzy throughout the whole day. Tears started forming at the corner of her eyes because she was tired and wanted to live a normal life without having to worry soo much about food. Ignoring her thoughts she immediately cleaned all the mess and made sure not to leave any hint of what she was doing there. She knew that Bulimia is wrong and it can cause death but the desire for a perfect body is soo strong that she finds herself indulging in this vicious cycle again and again.