Author: Rituka Mane

SHAH RUKH KHAN : The Destiny’s Child.

It is about Shah Rukh Khan. What other reason do we need to read it?

“I AM A GREAT, FANTASTIC ACCIDENT OF BEING THE RIGHT PERSON, AT THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME. THAT’S THE DESCRIPTION OF MY SUCCESS.” – SHAH RUKH KHAN

We know them as the Pathans, a corruption of the word ‘Pakhtun’ perpetuated by the English. Shah Rukh was born to two beautiful people, Meer Taj Mohammad and Latif Fatima. Meer Taj Mohammad, a handsome, tall man stepped out of his mansion in Peshawar, at the age of 16, for a 942 km walk to Delhi. There was nothing that could stop him from being a lawyer. Shahrukh describes his father as an idealist, a well-read and well-educated man who could speak six languages- Persian, Sanskrit, Pushtu, Punjabi, Hindi, English.

Now, it’s really intriguing that the initial years of Meer Taj Mohammed in Delhi, were spent in a girl’s college studying law. How charming must he have been that he convinced the principal to no just give him a seat in the college but also a room in the hostel. What is absurd is that he left his home and family behind only to pursue a career in law even though he had a family business waiting just for him to ripe and become a man, big enough to make decisions. Was it passion? That drove him to move away and go after what he aspired?

This quality is distinctively seen in Shahrukh Khan, as there is nothing that drives him forward more than passion. It is not known exactly when Meer Taj joined the Khudhai Khidmatgar ( Servants of God) organisation of Frontier Gandhi, but shahrukh believes he was among the youngest freedom fighters to join.

During the partition of India-Pakistan, few of the members of this organisation stayed here, in India whereas the rest retreated to develop the newly-formed Pakistan. He met Fatima, a 16 year old girl who he would eventually marry in the late 1960’s. The dream of becoming a lawyer looked far-fetched now, with all the trouble with the partition and the politics.

Meer Taj Mohammed and Latif Fatima

The story about how Shahrukh’s parents met? It is the most fascinating one. Meer Taj Mohammad, with a friend found a car overturned on the road with a severely bleeding young girl in it. He rushed her to the hospital and due to heavy blood loss, she needed a blood transfusion.

Surprisingly, Meer Taj’s blood group matched hers’ and no, that wasn’t the end of his blood donations. A call came in, informing that Fatima’s mother had had a miscarriage and needed blood, and Meer Taj being a gentle giant, flew all the way from Delhi to Bangalore to donate blood again. He was a part of their family now. He asked for Fatima’s hand in marriage and they were gifted with two beautiful children.

Shehnaaz Lala Rukh, November 6 1960 and Shah Rukh, November 2 1965. Because of Meer Taj’s sheer honesty, the transport business was resulting in a loss.

With the allotment of open spaces around the World Trade Centre, Meer Taj persuaded the officials to grant him a small open space to start up a tea stall.

“My dad taught me that in the long run, honesty always pays.” – Shahrukh Khan.

Meer Taj was diagnosed with cancer, but the hope within the family members did not die. But as time passed by, they soon realised that this would be his last battle.

Shah Rukh was 15 when his father died.

It was his mother, Fatima who introduced Shah Rukh to the Hindi Cinema.

The most amusing thing about Shah Rukh is that he was very bad at Hindi. He would get around 1-2 marks on 10. Fatima would bribe him by saying that she would take him for a film every time he scored a 10/10. Shah Rukh topped in Hindi then onwards. His first film was, Dev Anand’s Joshilaa. It was his mother who insisted him on taking the admission for masters in filmmaking at NSD.

“It’s wrong to think that a star or an actor of my status or higher is in power. Whatever time one gets, one uses it in ass-licking.” – SRK

He had been exceptional at studies in school and had won numerous awards which he figured would give him a direct entry into the best college in Delhi, but turns out the principal didn’t give a second look at the certificates and was even harsh towards him.

He then decided that he would have to make the best of what he was offered and took admission in the first college that he was accepted into, Hans Raj College, Delhi University. As well as being good at studies, he was great at playing football, cricket and hockey but had to stop because of his severe back injury.

Shahrukh laid his eyes on Gauri, at a friend’s party in the year 1984, when he was only 18 years old. He, being a shy guy didn’t have the courage to walk up to her and ask her for a dance.

Later that night, he gathers all the courage he has and asks her where she turns down his offer because she wasn’t interested in him. That was the beginning of their lives together. Gauri soon fell for his wit, confidence and style but then, Shah Rukh, being possessive by nature started being very controlling which made Gauri take a break from this relationship and she decided to disappear from his life without telling him.

She’d decided to head towards Bombay. By 1990, Shah Rukh was dividing his time between Bombay and Delhi. When he approached his mother with his thought of getting married to her, she didn’t oppose him or even ask any questions. She put Rs 10,000 in his hands and asked him to go and get his love back home.

By this time, he had been approached by multiple TV projects. His first being Fauji.

Before he was approached for any show, he would borrow money from friends’ and travel up and down to the film city and audition, till his luck struck. He was spending a lot of time in Bombay for his second television series, Circus when he’d got a call from a friend having bad news.

His mother had fallen sick, a wound in her foot wasn’t healing and she’d been admitted to a near-by run-down hospital. Shahrukh rushed back home and immediately shifted her to Holy Family Hospital. He had to rush back to fulfil his major commitments and because he needed money for his mother’s treatment.

The doctor’s had told that her condition had become worse because of her diabetic condition and she had slipped into a coma and Shah Rukh had resigned himself of her fate and remained by her bed side for almost two months, without sleep, food, rest.

One day, when he goes out to buy medicines, Fatima passes away leaving him and his sister alone in this big world.

His sister, Shehnaz goes into depression and he stands up and takes charge to take care of his elder sister.

Gauri and Shah Rukh got married in 1991.

“And the closest you can come to being content is when you die. People say the only cure for life is death. Maybe, at the moment that one second, when all worries leave your mind, you die. I kept giving my mother a lot of worries, so she couldn’t die. I kept pleading, ‘Please don’t go’.” – SRK

It was never easy for him to make big in this industry. Not having any family background in the industry, he had really worked hard to make it big. His first Tele Series, Fauji had made him a heartthrob in the masses. This kick started his career in Bollywood. His life wasn’t always a bed of roses.

Most of the beginning of his careers was a total downhill. After the death of his mother, he wanted to pursue a full-time career in the film industry and so he came down to Bombay. He had been approached for four films, the first being Hema Malini’s directorial debut- Dil Aashna Hai.

The movie that kick started his career was Deewana, in which he played the second male lead. The audiences loved it. Shah Rukh Khan, the actor, had made it.

“The first day after pack-up, I was quite crushed. I felt I was the worst actor on earth. I kept thinking that maybe I was not cut out for this.” – SRK

Shah Rukh started the year 1993 with the release of Darr, in which he portrayed the role of an obsessive lover and a murderer in Baazigar, which both turned out to be great hit. He was acclaimed for his villainous roles. He brought in the trend of the Anti-hero.

The movies that turned out to be a big shot movie for him were actually the turndowns by other stars like Armaan Kohli, Salman Khan and Aamir Khan.

Darr marked one of the first movies signed by Shah Rukh with film maker Yash Chopra, which lead to endless movies but everything is time bound and then, it had all come down to one last movie, Jab Tak Hai Jaan.

Shah Rukh came back into the industry as a romantic hero which turned out to be his personal best genre. His biggest hit, being Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge till date. All of it seemed like a fairy tale but everything has its’ perks.

Life had become so hectic and Gauri, even after they both had married each other, there was no acceptance from Gauri’s family side, the issue being their different religions.

He would work for hours on the sets and then rush back to Gauri’s house to find ways to soften her parents. For his roles, even though he received a great amount of appreciation, he was also criticised based upon his acting skills. Even though they were poor, he worked hard, made sure he was good enough so that people couldn’t point out flaws that he couldn’t substantiate. Through the hardships, Shah Rukh Khan has conquered the world with his immense acting skills and powerful will.

SRK With His Family

“I saw my parents going through it. After I lost my dad at an early age, I equated poverty to failure. I just didn’t want to be poor. I signed films for the fear of poverty more than creative desire. Most of my initial films were discards of other actors.” – SRK

References:
http://www.imshahrukhkhan.com/shahrukh-khan-biography-1/
http://www.bollywoodshaadis.com/articles/magical-love-story-of-shahrukh-khan-and-gauri-2332
http://tribune.com.pk/story/611166/i-didnt-want-to-be-poor-says-shahrukh-khan/

April 12, 2016
Solace (Part-1)

Solace is a story about a woman, Cheryl Peters who had been successful and rich but falls down from the throne to the ground and comes to know about the hard truths about the poor.

She was there, sitting on a table for two. The waiter approached her with a writing pad to take her order. She ordered her favourite without even glancing at the menu card. Oh! How much she had missed being herself.

“I’d like to have Steak, medium-rare, poached eggs with oyster sauce.” She said, in her best accent.

“Ah! An excellent choice, Ma’am. It’ll be right up.” Said, the waiter.

She had come to the most expensive restaurant in the city. The clothes she was wearing, stolen. The jewellery, stolen. She looked around the restaurant and was bewildered. So many people, so much chaos, so many voices, so much talk but so little meaning. This is the life she had always had, the life of the rich. She looked at all the people and wondered what they did for a living.

She realised that she had ordered something really, really expensive and instinctively checked the wallet that she had stolen from the unconscious woman. It was all visiting cards and offer store cards and 10 dollars, otherwise empty.

She started panicking. How would she pay the bill? Would they file a case against her? She started having second thoughts about coming here in the first place. She looked around and was astound to find a man looking directly at her, wearing similar clothes of the man who was found lying unconscious with that woman. She started pulling at her clothes nervously when he started walking her way. Her mind was in constant argument with itself. It was definitely a bad idea to come here.

But where would she go, anyway? No home, no friends.

Well, the ones whom she once called her friends were no longer by her side in her time of crisis and misery, so they weren’t supposed to be called her friends anyways. A stark, smart and successful woman, once was now on the streets living with the homeless and poor, starving and begging and stealing. What on mother earth had happened to her?

That man, now came up to her table and asked if he could have a seat with her. She nodded in agreement, well she couldn’t really say no to Him, could she? A handsome young man, in his twenties, the same as her. Charming, earnest and chivalrous. Was she hallucinating?

His smile was so bright, it brought brightness in her life.

She looked at her watch, well that was the only thing she owned. It was old and worn-out but it had been her mothers and was beautiful. It had been only 20 minutes since he’d taken the order. She decided that she’d cancel the order and pay the waiter off with the 10 dollars that she had. But instead, she asked the man how he found those clothes. Oh! So, so stupid. What was she thinking?

He replied, “Uh, Ma’am. I think you’re mistaking me for someone else. I am Alfred. These clothes are mine and well, I had lent my clothes to my cousin’s fiancé but otherwise, these aren’t easily found because they are custom made.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just a little tired out today. I think I’m going to leave.” And she started to raise from her chair, when the wallet fell down from her hands onto the floor.

“Wait, I know that wallet. Where did you find that? Who are you? Where is Kelly?”

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“Sit down here and answer me. Right now or I will call the manager.”

“I do not know what you’re talking about. Kelly, who? I’ve never heard that name.”

“Where did you find that wallet?”

“Why did you approach me?”

“I saw you sitting here all alone, your eyes, sad. I thought you were waiting for someone and that he didn’t show up and you were leaving because of that. So, I just came up to share a meal with you. Did anyone tell you that you are hauntingly beautiful?” Even though she was immensely tensed up, she couldn’t ignore that little blush and a rush that spiked up through her body.

“I’m sorry. I was really hungry and I found this wallet fallen down and I really needed money.” She flustered.

“Calm down. Just shush now. Where…” As he was speaking, the waiter brought her meal and he was surprised. “That is pretty specific for a poor person?”

“I know. I shouldn’t have ordered that, it’s just out of habit. Never mind that. I’m sorry.” She said all of it in one breathe.

“I asked you to calm down. Habit? Have you been here before?”

“I, uh. I am Cheryl Peters.”

“Wait? You are The Cheryl Peter? THE CHERYL PETER?”

“Please stop.” She looked away and blinked back the tears.

“Okay? Are you okay? Why do you have to steal? Where have you been?”

No one knew where she had gone. She had disappeared like thin air. He kept persisting and asking questions, she shot him one look and he was silenced.

“Can you pay for my meal? I don’t have money.”

“Will you talk to me, then?” He asked. She couldn’t risk people finding out about her so she nodded at him, slightly.

April 11, 2016
Gods of Rain

Chaac and Tlaloc, two gods of rain for two tribes were as similar and as different to each other as they could be.

In the Pre-Colombian Mesoamerican traditional religious beliefs, Chaac and Tlaloc are two important deities associated with rain and fertility. Whereas Chaac is worshipped by the Mayans, Tlaloc is by the Aztecs.

The Mayans are a group of people who are aboriginal to Mesoamerica. They populate Mexico, Guatemala, Belize, El Salvador and Honduras. The Aztecs are a group of people of a specific ethnic group of Central Mexico, who mainly spoke the Nahuati language. Though both these gods are portrayed to play the same function in both the societies.

But they are quite different in other aspects of life like the animals they are associated with. Chaac is said to have the power over the rain and agriculture and fertility.

He is said to be have four incarnations linked to the four cardinal directions with relation to the colours green, red, white and black respectively.

Chaac is known to be one of the oldest Mayan deities and is illustrated as a human with animal features, that of an amphibian, i.e. with scales over his body, a long-curly nose and a large, protruding lower lip. He is also said to bear a stone axe which he uses to generate rain and thunder by striking the clouds with it.

Among the many rituals that were to be done so as to please the rain god, the most intriguing one would be the sacrifice of four boys for the four cardinals, chanting as frogs for rain and better crops. It is believed that since Chaac was helped by four dwarfs in the time of distress, the sacrificial offering of children is preferred. In some traditions, it is presumed that there were demigods, known as Chaacob and to humans, they appeared as dwarfs or giants.

Chaacs’ alter ego, Tlaloc is said to be the god of rain and fertility and vegetation for the Aztecs. He is considered as the ruler of the 3^rd sun and has been portrayed as a human with circles around his eyes and fangs like that of a jaguar, with skin, the colour dirty yellow. Tlaloc is often associated with the mountains and is said to have a group of demigods, known as the Tlaloque.

Tláloc is also said to have had two wives: first Xochiquetzal, the flower and fertility goddess but she was abducted by Tezcatlipoca. Later, he took a second wife, Matlalcueitl, another rain deity.

Tlaloc is said to have had both, helpful and harmful aspects. He carried four water jugs: one gave rain, but the others poured disease, frost, and drought onto the world. He is said to create rain by clashing both of his jugs together. Tláloc was also believed to rule the other-worldly paradise of Tlalocán, where the victims of floods, storms and diseases such as leprosy were accepted after death. The deceased bodies were not incinerated but were buried. Just like the other deities,

Tlaloc also required human sacrifice and priests often offered him the lives of children during the dry season. It was speculated that the tears in the eyes of the children during the sacrifice meant intense rainfall.

April 8, 2016
Lei era andato per sempre.

A woman finds out about her husband cheating on her and turns into something dangerous and is gone, forever.

Shattered glass under her feet, she looked up into the mirror. It, being broken into smithereens.

Blood dripping from her wrist, into the basin and onto the floor.

A maniacal smile, on her face. She walked to the window and strained her eyes to get a view of their room. There he was, on the bed. There he was with another woman.

There he was with his hands on her body and hers on his. There he was with his lips pressing hard and passionately on hers. Where had all the magic that was between them gone that he had come down to cheat on her with someone else? There he was on their bed with some other woman and here she was, looking at him with a smile as wide as a hanger.

She kept walking up and down, blood dripping on the carpet and staining it. Even with all of this hate and anger boiling in her, she couldn’t help but think about how she would have to wash the carpet. Had this been the reason for him to go astray? Something in her died, that instant.

A flame, a burning flame had extinguished. Her vision started to blur with the tears flooding her eyes and all she could think of was how it had all come to this.

Walking up and down, she lifted her arm to push away the hair from her face and smiled from one ear to the other looking at her wrist.

She looked out the window again, into the room and looked away. How could she look at him cheating on her with her own eyes? They had been right about him. He wasn’t the saint, he was the sinner.

Out of the seven sins, three were already on her mind. Lust, as in the desire to get back her husband. Wrath, as in to end her mistress’s life. Envy, as in of what she had lost and the other woman gained.

She shut her eyes and then looked at the rug.

She lifted the rug and walked over to the washing machine and switched it on. Then, brought a mop and started cleaning the floor till it was as white as it could be. She was a control freak.

She had a psychological disorder of having hallucinations and created illusions of people like she wanted them to be and he was doing what? Taking advantage of this situation? Where had all the love gone away? Such deep love? She looked at the cut across her wrist and smiled. Why? It didn’t hurt even to a slightest.

She wondered if the medicines had turned her body so immune that she didn’t feel pain anymore? What about the heart ache then?

There wasn’t any pain, just an empty feeling, a feeling which was in between hatred and jealousy. She pulled a chair across to the window and sat there, looking at them. With more and more time passing by, the wrath in her eyes started turning into something very dangerous. There was fire in her eyes and as she looked at them getting more and more intimate, her body started turning red and burning hot.

She looked down at her feet and her toe nails were on fire and then the ankles and then it started creeping up all through her entire body. Her body was on fire and she looked at her hand and the cut had almost disappeared. What was happening? Why didn’t it hurt?

She was flustered and started towards the bathroom, but the fire seemed to be amaranthine. She had been an amorous lover and all of it had come down to this? She looked at the smithereens of the mirror on the floor and saw herself turn into a monster, or was it something else? All of a sudden, she started a psittacism so loud, it could have shattered millions of glasses. Her body burnt as bright as a neon railway sign. Her body didn’t ache or burn but itched, her back, mainly.

The room, tenebrous and soulless only with a burning body moving about in the room, to the window and her eyes, burning flares. She looked out the window, at her husband and got even more infuriated. Her skin started to wither and turn to dust. And as the sun came up in the city of Rome, her body turned to ashes and she was gone through the window, with the wind.

She was gone forever and there were no remains found of her. The next day, the rug was found in the machine with the stains that never left.

March 26, 2016
Cherophobia

Cherophobia is a story about two sisters who haven't been together for so long because of a certain reason and when they do meet, it turns out to be the worst nightmare.

Cherophobia is the fear of happiness and you might think that what kind of person would fear being happy? Everyone might say that it's not real and that it is nothing. The thing that most people do not understand is that cherophobia is aeonian.

Standing there on the concrete, looking at the grass moving feebly with the wind, she looked over to the swings she wanted to sit on, the green grass she wanted to lay down upon, the smiles that she saw on other people's faces, the ones that she wanted to feel but which made her anxious, the joy that flourished the entire park, well not just the park, everywhere she saw and the feeling of bliss when someone so dear touches you, all of that which makes you happy was what she was afraid of. She looked at all of it and shut her eyes tight, trying to push those thoughts of fear away. She used to come to this park with her sister, but that wasn't something that made her happy, not anymore. She feared these memories and thus remembered each one of them as clear as a crystal because the voices in her mind never let her forget them. After eight years, this would've been the first time that she could spend time with her sister. But now it would never happen. She was the reason for her death. She was to blame. All the people, every one of them was shut out by her which had left her with no one to talk to. Anyone who tried to lift her up from her ruins, were either slammed or left unnoticed and unanswered. Time went by and the people fewer and fewer with each passing year when there came a time when there were none. She didn't mind that because it only meant lesser expectations and no compulsion to talk. Happiness was just a nine letter word she was scared to death of. But what had happened? Was what happened to her that bad, that she feared being happy?

HER STORY:

Mirage remembered vividly what had happened that night.

Her sister Katherine, the one who had been her lifeline after their parents had passed away, had come home to meet her in the holidays and they had so much to catch up on. Every time she came home, it would all go back in time and they would become kids all over again.

It had been a very long time since they met and visited the park and had decided that they would.

They were so happy. Their happiness beyond measure. But the wind had something else to say. It became colder by the minute and mist had started to form. Mirage went out to the door to shut it and walked over to light a fire but realised they had run out of wood. She called out to Katherine saying that she'll be right back and started out the gate, paving her way into the woods.

Mirage could sense something following her and wanted to run back to the house and lock herself in. It had come back. It had found Katherine.

Trembling with fear, Mirage looked at the silhouette formed in front of her, under the tree then looked away. She picked up the lightest logs she could find and headed back when something gushed across her face. She couldn't see what it was. It was an apparition. She felt a rush of adrenaline and then realised that Katherine was alone at home.

She ran as fast as a panther and looked up to the moon which had turned blood red. She looked up towards the house, it was still such a long distance to cover. No, Katherine was not alone. Oh god, what had she done? She breathed out her lungs and puffed in as much air as she could and ran towards the house.

All this while she had been doing her best to protect her sister but now, it had found her and she couldn't do anything, Could she?

Tears welled up in her eyes but she wiped them away. No matter how much she ran, the distance didn't seem to cut down. She ran with all her might but it seemed like she was going round and round in some kind of a circle. Her mind was in a constant battle with itself. She couldn't let anything happen to her baby sister. How could she fail her dad? She had promised him to do it even if it cost her, her life. But now?

All these years, Katherine was under her protection because she wasn't supposed to know who she was or rather what she was. She was not an ordinary person. She had powers, just like their mother but Mirage hadn't been passed those powers but that didn't matter to her. These powers had cost their mother her life along with her husband's.

He didn't want that for Katherine and that is why he had made Mirage promise him to keep Katherine's powers hidden and mirage had done it, faithfully for all these years but this one time, for her happiness and for Katherine’s, she had let her come home. This couldn't cost her sister. Her temptation engulfed her mind completely.

Finally, when the moon hid under a thick cloud could she find her way to the house and she called out to Katherine, her voice thick with all the cold. She ran into Katherine's room, she wasn't there.

In the hall, wasn't there. In the kitchen, wasn't there. On the terrace, no sight of her. There was one room in which she hadn't looked. The house was a mess. It was in here, but she couldn't see it. She rushed into her room and found what she had feared. There was a note pinned on her bathroom door saying, "Hey Mirr, I know you hated it when I used your stuff, when were kids but I really don't care anymore okay? I'm meeting you after complete 8 years and so I'm all forgiven. I'm so happy and happiness is meee!
P.s: You can't hate me coz I love you so much, Mirr. Haha! "

The water was still on but Mirage knew something was wrong. It wasn't here anymore. Where had it gone? Where was it? She pushed open the door and she saw her there, lying there in the tub. Katherine was there, lifeless. Her head had a hole in it and blood oozed out colouring the water to a bright ruby. She walked over to Katherine and grimaced.

It was horrific. 'It' had come to get her this way? How could it?

The shower head poured out excessively hot water which gushed right over and into her head, killing her. What had it done? Her eyes popped out of their sockets and her mouth open so wide it could take in a baby elephant. Mirage's temptation for happiness had cost Katherine's life.

She was so happy and now she was Cherophobic!

March 19, 2016
Caliginous

It's a description of a dream of a morphine addict who is trying hard to stay sober.

A life haunted is not a life at all. May it be a person, a thought or a ghost.

She boarded a random bus. She needed to breathe. Her mind was too fucked to care where she was headed to. Lost in the search for her headphones, she almost forgot that she hadn’t taken a ticket. Well, the bus was almost empty.

She paid the man and clenched the ticket tight in her hand. She couldn’t stand it anymore, everything that had happened and everything that was happening. It was all a mess.

She had to set her mind free from its bounds. As she made herself comfortable in one of the seats, she looked down at her feet and noticed how weird they seemed to her, as if they had never been hers.

She blasted her ears with music and hummed the tune softly. While she sat there, looking at the floor and now and then out the window, she could hear voices, soft murmurs over the music. At first she overlooked them and looked out the window and noticed a dog who was running with the bus. She was amused with what the dog was doing but she couldn’t come to an understanding of why the dog was doing whatever he was doing.

She kept staring at the dog for a long time and then it turned to look at her with those green blazing eyes which stunned her to the bone. It was as if everything was void. She was brought back into reality by a high pitched scream. The murmurs had turned into screams. She switched off the music but the distant screams only seemed to become louder.

The voices had returned. She couldn’t process what was happening and it all happened in a flash.

She calmed herself and told herself that it was just a glitch in the audio. She convinced herself pretty well but when the screams came back to her, it seemed surreal. She needed to know what was real now. It had been One month since she’d been sober. She looked back and found a man looking at her with exactly the same, green blazing eyes just as the dog. She turned around to the bus conductor, only to find his eyes, blazing green, glaring at her.

Sweat trickled down her brow and her hands were cold. She had stabbed him in the chest with her nail filer. She had killed him, in cold blood. All of it just came back to her. The whispers had become louder and they just didn’t seem to lower down. She switched off the music and just sat there, hitting her wrist with an elastic band. This was something she did to calm herself, to bring back reality.

Her phone started playing a file on its own. It was a recording. She increased the volume to an 8. It was him screaming, begging for his life. She had been a morphine addict. What had she done? How had this got recorded? She tried deleting it but it just kept playing over and over and over again. His screams, the pleas, all of it was there. His green eyes glared at her in pain, when she grabbed the filer, the weapon of the murder, her wallet and a packet of morphine which he had denied her of. What had she done? She grabbed her wallet and looked for the filer and slit her throat open.

SHIT! She woke up in her bed but was covered in blood.

He was right beside her, in bed, fast asleep. Had it all been a dream? She walked into the washroom, it felt uneasy. Blood drained her top and her body felt strangely warm and cold. She looked into the mirror and fell down on the floor, dead. She started screaming and pushing at the bed covers.

It had been another dream.

March 18, 2016