Tag: Comedy

  • SRIRACHA

    SRIRACHA

    The clattering sound of the rain against my den’s windshield woke me up from my much needed respite . It was yet another dream to add to my plethora of spooky nights. I was stranded in the lands of unbeknownst, the winds were humming as I tasted the needled cold. The ever growing pine trees all around dwarfed me while the thick bed of fresh snow beneath my knee high snow boots,nearly collapsed with every alternate step leaving me with a fainter heart. The sun sneered at me while he faded away with my hope.

    With the gray cast sky,and a closing in storm, my vision was at it’s best I must say. I could see the gargantuan walls of a possible castle less than a few yards away. The snow blotted with fresh blood left a trail. I was in grave need of shelter for all the obvious reasons. I began to trod towards it, along the ground profile which was no better than my “social life”.

    My dad’s third transfer in the last couple of years. If you’d let alone the financial stability, we were no better than a bunch of vagrants. He was never home or maybe I was used to the idea of him not being. The new school was totally welcoming as my mother liked to put it. I should tell you that I was a mediocre and no stud kid .Being the timid kid I am, getting bullied was more of a pastime. I had to make sure that my mom never got her hands on my blood stained handkerchiefs. The only thing that gravitated me towards school was the “psychology lecture”.

    Professor Steve Hughes was a cool guy. Listen up, he was also a celibate *shush*. His lectures were mostly awe inspiring. More than often we used to talk about interesting things, criminal psychology,hypnosis and lucid dreaming,were a few worth mentioning. I was totally pumped up to practice lucid dreaming the moment I learnt about it. He helped me big time. I used to go to his place and spend quality time with him. We’d talk about world , space , time and beyond. I’d started to idolize him. Wait. Is that my father?

    He was smiling at me across the asphalt as the truck crushed his skull before my eyes. He was reduced to a gross mass of meat.

    If Professor Steve was my dad, my mom?

    My mom started bobbing her head like a hen, but wait she was a hen! She was now pecking the grains at my feet. A man laced his hands with mine. He had a cock on his tee shirt. Sriracha’s worker? My heavens! Sriracha’s sauce tastes like sauce! Of course , it’s sauce!

    The sauce left a trail. Some nimcompoop had spilled it.! Idiot.! To my surprise,the castle was nothing but Sriracha’s! The whole god damned factory! The owner gleefully looked at me and passed a crate of fresh sauce,while I was trying to absorb reality. But reality?

    I woke up to the clattering sound of the rain against my den’s windshield. Sixteen years had passed since I last shared a plate of french fries with Professor Satish Hegde in the IISc canteen,and he had mentioned how much he loved Sriracha sauce that I had brought him from Thailand.

    He had adopted me from an orphanage when I was six, and made me the man I am today.

    He shouldn’t have missed his radiotherapy sessions over eating fries with me!

    PS:

    The thing that really intrigues me is

    Who am I?

    Who narrated the story to me?

    Is my brain exclusive of me?

    How was there an element of mystery and surprise when I spoke to myself?

    Am I being oblivious to myself?

    Do brains live a life of their own in incognito!

  • Found a friend – Shin (Michi part 3)

    Found a friend – Shin (Michi part 3)

    In her quest to escape, Michi stumbles upon a man who might just be the friend she needs.
    Chapter 3

    Shin’s P.O.V (point of view)

    “WHO IS THAAAAAAAT?” I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a cute little girl all cuddled up on my bed, sleeping like a baby. “MOM?!” I shouted like an ill-mannered bastard even though I knew it would wake her up. But hey I am not the one sabotaging someone else’s bed, she is! The girl in front of me twitched a little and slowly opened her eyes.

    Wow… she really was cute. I have always liked girls with long hair, and clueless expressions. I mean, look at that clueless helpless little creature. She’s so cute. And it gets better when she widens her eyes. Oh yes! Even cuter now. And then the tearing up and crying arc- WAIT WHAT?!

    While I stood there hanging on to my dumb string of thoughts I suddenly realized that the cutie had started crying.

    “Sorry cut-ah I mean miss. You can go back to sleep if you want to!” Go back to sleep? What the hell was I saying! I should ask her the 5 W’s at this time, now that she is awake.

    “What are you shouting for?” My mom came from behind me, went up to the girl and sat beside her on the bed, looking at me with a perplexed expression. Really? She couldn’t tell why I was shouting?

    “Would you come out with me for a second? I have a few things that I want to ask.” We walked out of the room and I viewed the cutie one last time before exiting. She had stopped crying the moment my mom had entered the room and now seemed a bit scared and tensed; almost apologetic too in a way.

    “So?”

    “What is such a cut- I mean young girl doing in my room?” I had to control my tongue more consciously now before the word ‘cute’ slipped out of my mouth.

    “I picked her up from the pavement outside the house. She was lying there unconscious and looked scared and I couldn’t help but take her in”

    “You sound like you just picked up a stray pup or cat” I couldn’t believe her. She picked up a person just like that. When will she understand that we are not living in a safe world anymore, never were to begin with. “Did you call the police?”

    “Not yet. I just wanted her to calm down a bit before I did that”, mom tugged on my arm and pulled me closer and whispered in my ear “I think something bad happened with her”

    “Why would you-“

    “SHHHUUUUU your voice is too loud!”

    “Sorry” now we were whispering in our own home thanks to all the detective serials she has been watching. ”Why do you think so?” I spoke as softly as I could.

    “She has been crying since she came here. I asked her a lot of things but she never said anything. Just nodded or shook her head and kept on crying.” Mom looked up at me with a worried expression and I knew what she was thinking “Either she is too shocked to speak, or she is-“

    “Hey” I called out suddenly, cutting mom mid-sentence.

    I could see a little figure staring at us from behind my room’s gate. She looked scared and weak in more than one way and it felt like even the slightest of push could knock her down. The moment I heard that something bad could have happened, I couldn’t help but feel pity for her. But pitying her won’t do her any good. If we wanted to help her, then we might as well be frank and honest with her. Before mom could end her sentence, I wanted to know the truth from her.

    “Can you speak?” there was a moment of silence in the room and the silence continued as the girl walked forward a little and stopped a few feet away from us. Looking straight into my eyes, she shook her head as a sign of ‘no’.

    So the cutie had no voice.

     

     . . .

    My name is Shin. I am originally Japanese but my mom and I went oversees when I had to continue my studies after dad passed away due to an illness. That is why we are a bit fluent with English. But let’s not talk about my past. I like living in the present. And at the present I am unemployed. Yes, that is the only thing that bugs me every day but I am trying to get a job as a teacher. I had been out for two days on a trip with a friend of mine and when I came back I saw a cutie in my room. As it is, she cannot speak and we don’t know anything about her. But our guts say that she needs us and so we decided to support her till we can find out something about her.

     

    . . .

    (Michi’s second night in the Shin residency)

    “So… Um…” It had been quite some time when the dining table had three people and on top of that, one of the three was a complete stranger. “What is your name?” I asked cutie and smiled at her so she would feel a little comfortable. She suddenly got flustered and started waving her hands in an odd way reminding me that verbal conversation was not going to be possible with her. “Wait use this”

    I got up from the table and came back with a copy and pen. When I gave it to her she smiled a huge smile. She really did look like a puppy. Taking the pen from us she quickly started writing down something. Probably her name, because that is what we asked her.

    “At last we will know what to call you” my mom smiled at her and we waited for her to write down what she wanted to convey. She was done in a moment’s time and turned around the copy for us to read.

    “Sorry and Thank you. Thank you very much”

    This was all she had written. Those few written words had more feelings in them than any spoken words could convey. I looked at my mom who was looking back at me. We were at a loss of words for the moment and we looked back at her. The girl’s expression suddenly changed to one of realization and she turned around the copy and started writing again.

    “I am Michi. Nice to meet you!”

    Smiling widely she looked at us and pointed to her name and then to herself.

    “We got it Michi. So this is your name huh?” I patted her head lightly

    “Such a pretty name. Do you know what Michi means in Japanese?” my mom took her hand in her own and looked at Michi with a soft gaze. Michi shook her head for she had no idea as to what it meant. “It means ‘pathway’, so I am sure that you will definitely find your way to where you want to go and till that time you can stay with us ok?” Michi kept looking at my mom for some time till her eyes started tearing up again.

    “Ah no no no! You have to stop with the crying!” I told her and gave her a slight pat on her head which ended up making her cry even more.

    “Don’t hit her idiot! You made her cry!” mom glared at me and started consoling Michi. Now I was the bad guy.

    “But I didn’t ‘hit’ her exactly it was just a pat!”

    While we were at our little family squabble Michi stopped crying and wrote down something on the copy once again.

    “I am crying because I am happy. Thank you”

    “You know you don’t have to thank us so much. You are welcome.” The rest of the evening was filled with joyful chatter, laughs and filing pages. As the night grew darker mom put Michi to sleep while I waited for her in front of the room.

    “Shouldn’t we have at least asked her something? We need to know about her” Michi was a good girl no doubt but knowing about her was important since she was going to stay with us for some time now.

    “It’s ok. We’ll ask her when the time is right. Right now we’ll just let her loosen up a bit and have fun.”

    And so my days with Michi started but what I didn’t know anything about was Michi’s dark past and how the demons born from that were coming after us. Faster and quicker.

  • Gangs Assemble! Episode 1

    Gangs Assemble! Episode 1

    “Get your hands off of him!” a kick came flying from Hiro’s right side and smashed into the baldy’s head who had been gagging him for quite a few seconds now.


    “Getting wet behind the ears?” Goro teased him with a grin as he pulled me up.


    “Guys behind you!” Dai shouted as he struggled with another baldy. And in no time Hiro knocked out the one approaching them with a back punch.


    “Not at all” He smirked as he replied to Goro and they gave each other a high five.


    “Nice job there” Dai came running towards them and then slowed down. A deep frown formed on his face as he spoke in a tense voice

    “But I still don’t get it…”

    “What?” The other two asked.

    “WHY WERE THEY BALD??? ALL OF THEM???” He shouted in frustration while pointing at the pile of baldies they had piled up.

    “That’s what you wanted to ask?” Goro looked a bit disappointed but that was to be expected from Dai. He had always been the goof ball amongst them. “But you know… It definitely is strange”

    Goro seemed deep in thought, “Each and every one of them is stark bald” he said glaring at them. “Why? Why are you bald?” he threatened the beat up baldies for an answer as he glared at them while stepping on one’s head.

    “I think you both have lost it” Hiro concluded with a defeated tone. “The question is that why did they attack us” He said bending down.

    “We’ll never tell you that!” the guy who was under Goro’s foot murmured which ticked him off.

    “Oh is that so! I see you are bald but you do have eyebrows! Would you like me to help you match that part up with you head?! HUH? TELL ME!” Goro threatened with fire in his eyes. Actually it looked like his whole body was on fire.

    “S-SORRY! I-It was-“before the baldy could complete his sentence a speeding car almost hit us all before stopping right in between us and the baldies. On looking closer they realized that the driver… WAS BALD TOO!

    “He’s with them!” Dai shouted but they left before the three could stop them.

    “What the hell was that” Goro opened a soda can with his mouth and then asked “Do you guys recall any of them from our past?” 

    “No, this is the first time I saw them” Hiro replied and Dai nodded in agreement.

    “Well then we’ll just have to assume that they ambushed the wrong people by mistake. Maybe.” Goro concluded and the three of them made their way to their school. Although it was already 4 in the afternoon which means it was almost evening, these three had a special work to do. They would always come to school without fail at this time and leave at 6 in the evening. Some people who had seen them found it strange but didn’t dare to ask them.

    After all they were known as the Dragon heads of The Black Hawk Academy and were considered the strongest gang of their school. 

    In case you are wondering what gangs are, I’ll take just a brief moment to explain how this area works. In this large city of Crakville, there are numerous schools and each school is at war with the other. The goal is to become the strongest and most badass academy in whose shadow the rest of the schools should shiver. But even after decades of battling amongst each other not even one has come out at the top.

    Students enroll, form gangs, fight to survive and then just pass out or in some gone cases they drop out. Either ways, no ultimate decision has been made yet.

    But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t strong groups alive. The blue birds from Raven Academy, The knuckle shots from Crow Academy. The Wings from the Blossom Academy (the only girl gang and a terrifying one as well) and a few more rank as the top gangs along with the Dragon Heads. So now that we know about this little history, we can understand why they are a gang and why random fights on the street are never a big deal till any of the above mentioned gangs want to sweat it out.

    “Fuh I am so tired guys, let’s stop by the ice cream parlor on our way home” Dai sighed as he stretched out his arm muscles.

    “Sorry today I am a little busy so count me out” Hiro smiled and smacked Dai on his back.

    “Oh ok, what about you Goro?”

    “I have some urgent business to. Sorry man.” Goro said strolling ahead of the two.

    “Not fair guys! Since when did you become such busy people?” Dai complained a little but then smacked the other two on their heads and bid them farewell to go to the ice cream parlor. It didn’t matter to Dai if someone tagged along or not when the destination served ice cream. Soon he reached the shop and ordered for his favorite

    Chocolate whopple Sunday magic. It was a little expensive but Dai believed that food and sleep are two things that should not be compromised with.

    He took out a scoop of the tasty looking chocolate globe and started taking the spoon towards his mouth, while his mouth watered for the bitter-sweet textured sensation of the chocolate but someone suddenly caught his head from behind and yanked it in the plate in front. Ruining the whole dessert.

    “W-W-WHAAAATTTTT!” a high pitched ‘what’ was all that came out of Dai’s mouth as he gaped at the demolished ice kingdom ahead of him, his face was now a total mess of choco, nuts, some fruits and syrup. Enraged he turned around, determined to beat up anyone he could hold responsible but was taken aback instead. The parlor was flooded with men and they all had the same thing missing on their heads.

    “What’s going on…?” Dai almost whispered inaudibly as he starting feeling uneasy with the overwhelming number of baldies in front of him.

    “What’s up kiddo” one of the baldies from the afternoon came up to Dai and glared straight into his eyes, “Did we ruin the baby’s ice cream?” he sneered “Or are we helpless without our friends?”

    “Well… with the army you have gathered to corner out just one person, I would say you are the ones feeling helpless” Dai taunted wiping his face with a tissue.

    “You won’t be talking like this after we roughen you up” glared the baldy.

    “Hey hey hey! This is an ice cream parlor. Take you fight outside” The manager came running and sent the whole crew outside the shop. “Dai, should I call the cops or something?” he whispered to Dai as they crossed each other at the entrance door of the parlor before Dai left.

    “No its fine”

    “But-“

    “Oh so you thinks you can handle us?” threatened the baldy “What can you do alone against so many of us?”

    “I am not alone” Dai replied calmly as he folded up his shirt’s sleeves.

    “I don’t see anyone around ice cream boy”

    “Don’t give me weird nicknames!” Dai shouted back instantly, making some of the baldies laugh out, “and my reinforcements are almost here” 

    “Huh…?” the baldy looked confused until he saw two boys running at full speed towards them. The next few moments were full of fist smashing into bald heads or kicks landing on bald heads and finally after knocking down tons of potatoes the Dragon Knights stood victorious.

    “Nice work guys” Dai said grinning widely.

    “H-How did you know?” asked one of the beat up baldies.

    “We knew from the start that you were following us” Hiro explained calmly “But we were a little surprised that you would wait outside our school till we came out. We saw a bald potato shining from behind a bush and so made an ambush plan to ambush you when you would try to ambush us” 


    The baldies looked lost and defeated as he tried to understand what exactly had happened.

    “But seriously they totally destroyed my Sunday! That was not in the plan” Dai huffed.

    “That was fantastic work. As expected.” A guy wearing the same uniform as the three came out from behind the parlor.

    “You are definitely… the freshman Kite” Dai said.

    “Yes! I am glad you remember!” the guy jumped with fake excitement and then frowned deeply at them.

    “What’s the meaning of all this” Goro asked flexing his neck joints.

    “If I had to sum it up-“

    “You don’t have to just keep it quick” Dai interrupted almost uninterestedly.

    “That is what summing up means you idiot” Goro told Dai.

    “Oh that’s right sorry. Continue Kota”

    “IT’S KITE! You said it yourself a little while ago! And yes I would keep it short if-”

    “You sure are taking you time man. Just be quick” This time Hiro interrupted looking at his watch. “It’s already going to be 7 soon you know”

    “Oye let him speak you two” Goro said getting impatient as well “Quick Kento”

    “IT’S KITE!!!! AND YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME SPEAK!” Kite shouted in exasperation. After taking a deep breath he opened his mouth again but the three had already turned around and started walking away.

    “Wait!” Kite ran up in front of them and got hold of Hiro’s shoulders, “REVENGE” He summed up all that he had to say in just one word and gazed right at them.

    “For what?” Hiro asked a little amazed, “What did we do to you?”

    “You embarrassed me in front of everyone. On the day of the opening ceremony I asked you if I could be a part of the Dragon knights and you shoved me away without even considering me. I was laughed at by my friends and ridiculed and made fun of.” Kite slowly calmed down as he spoke further and dropped his hands from Hiro’s shoulders.

    “Then they are not you friends Kite” Dai said.

    “What?”

    “True friends don’t make fun of you Kite they support you and root for you even when you fall” Dai concluded smiling.

    “Especially when you fall” Goro added.

    It did not take Kite much time to understand what the people standing in front of him were saying. He felt the same way somewhere deep down as well. He knew the truth. But that did not comfort him much.

    “Why do you wish to join us Kite?” Hiro asked seriously.

    “Well… I have been idolizing you three since the day Dragon Knight was formed” Kite replied, “You probably don’t remember me but you formed your gang and named it in front of me.”

    A quick flashback flooded the mind of the three boys as they recalled the same day. Six years ago on a day when it was raining heavily, they were bought together by fate. Even though they were classmates but they never considered each other friends, in fact they practically disliked each other. But that day was different. After school as they were going back home they saw a little boy getting bullied by a few seniors of some other school. No one said anything and people just walked by chatting on and about their own lives, reason being that the ones bullying were some famous and strong gang.

    But these three were different, they couldn’t even bulge from their spot after they saw the little guy crying and the indifferent attitude of the people passing by only fueled their rage. This was so unfair and they were no match for the bullies.

    The three of them were thinking the same things and trying to come up with a plan when they noticed each other. Knowing that there was going to be some help after all, the three geared up in excitement and without thinking they dashed into the crime scene, caught the boy and ran with him. Well that was the only thing they could do as fighting was not an option when losing was determined to be the outcome. 

    “And so we ran with all our might without even turning back” Goro winked at Dai and he smiled back.

    “So you were the boy from back then” Hero mused, “You sure have grown up”

    “Yes” Kite replied back.                        . . .

    That day after the three outran the bullies, with the boy, they felt more alive than ever before.

    “What say we form a gang? One that can beat those punks and be at the top!” little Hero had proposed the idea.

    “Sounds good to me!” Goro replied with zeal and Dai put out his fist in the middle and the three fist fived each other.

    “What should we call ourselves?” little Dai asked jumping.

    “What about the ravens?”

    “It sounds girly”

    “The pirates?”

    “We don’t have a ship”

    “Hmm… then what?”

    “How about the Dragon Knight?” Hiro suggested. And so the Dragon Knights were born.
                            . . .

    “Sorry for embarrassing you Kite but the things is that we are a gang and Dragon Knights doesn’t recruit” Goro said and then asked sternly, “And if you do like us so much then what’s with all these baldies attacking us?”

    “I thought that maybe you would give me a second chance if I could make you accept my strength. I hired them and told them to beat you up and then when you would have needed help, I would have saved you…” Kite lowered his head at the stupidity of his plan. “I am sorry!” he clasped his hands together in a pleading pose and bent over in front of the three. “Please forgive me! Can you still consider me only as a friend?”

    “After all that you have done…” Dai’s voice drifted off in an unsure tone. Kite maintained his posture and waited for an answer patiently.

    “Of course we can all be friends, you should have said so from the start and saved us all the trouble. Idiot”

    “Really?” Kite’s eyes filled up with tears as the three smiled back at him. “Well I did ask you but you totally disregarded me!” Kite added quickly with a poker face.

    “HAHA well… that was my bad” Dai said scratching his head, “You told us that you wanted to be a part of our gang and many kids keep trying to get in. But becoming friends is a different matter.”

    “Well now that we are done for the day let’s get back already” Hiro said and started and started walking forward.

    “Yes!” Kite replied happily.

    “What about them?” Goro asked about the baldies who were already leaving after hearing the whole discussion.

    “We can just let them be. I’ll talk it out with them later” Kite replied.

    Slowly the night darkened but the moon shined bright and showed the valiant school boys their way to the train station. It’s a mystery as to what new adventures await them in the future but the one thing that is definite is that their friendship and comic life will never run out of color in this big city of Crakville, where gang fights are never a big deal until the big shots want to sweat it out… and maybe they will.