Storieo

Nani…

Written by

Rashi Mimrot

in

She was the sweetest person ever, she was like a cool breeze in summers, a ray of sunshine in a winter afternoon, rain for the dying flowers…in other words she was a beautiful person from inside out, she had a smile that could light up anyone’s mood, she was like a moment of relief in a stormy night.

I remember being hugged by her. It felt good, it felt right in every way, it felt calm, it felt like….. home. While everyone else looked at life in a similar common way, she had a different way to view it, she was always different from everyone. She had always been light to my darkness, even looking at her, talking to her calmed me. I loved being around her, her home felt like the best place to relax, to unwind, to let go of all your worries and stress, it was the best place to escape to when the world gets too stressful.

 Her cooking could beat 5-star restaurants, it was simple, nothing out of ordinary but it tasted like heaven, even a simple dish like a mango shake or even just a chapati tasted so good, maybe it was her amazing skills or her love for us. Whatever that was, it made food taste good. Being a kid I always used to leave my food half-eaten cause I couldn’t stomach or was full sooner than other kids, but if the food was made by her I used to eat more generously, and used to eat more than I normally ate.

She was always worried about us kids not being able to enjoy life, she was the only one in our whole house who used to say “Studies can wait… you should take breaks in between, enjoy yourself and your life a little”, she was the walking definition of “Live, Laugh, Love”. She always made sure that we(her grandkids) enjoyed the stay at her house to the fullest. And the amount of food she used to pack for us to eat at home… my mom had to carry an extra bag with her every time we visited her house. 

She was the best person ever, the most beautiful flower in the garden, that’s why maybe she disappeared sooner than the rest, losing you was painful, but I really hope that you stay happy and healthy wherever you are now. She was my peace, my home, she was my grandmother… she was my nani. 

Comments

One response to “Nani…”

  1. Aditi Panigrahi Avatar
    Aditi Panigrahi

    Rashi, you have skillfully structured your story… By guiding us through cherished memories, you fostered a connection between readers and your nani, evoking the same heartfelt bond you experienced. The use of listing and detailed descriptions of your grandma strengthens this emotional bond. However, I would suggest being mindful of the frequency of these stylistic devices, as they can give off a monotonous tone when overused (especially in the first three paragraphs).

    Nevertheless, your storytelling was so effective that the final climax was truly heart-wrenching. You managed to create a deep attachment between us and your grandma through your narrative, and it felt as though I had also experienced the loss. To heighten the emotional impact of your story and make the loss even more sorrowful, I suggest employing a play on tenses (just my idea). Convert your memories into present tense “moments,” walking readers through them in this immersive way. Then, when you reach the part describing the death, transition to the past tense. This subtle shift in tenses will add depth to the emotional resonance in your work.

    Finally, to further improve this composition, please remember to capitalise the first letter after ellipses (three “…” dots), marking the start of a new sentence.

    Overall, your efforts are commendable. Keep up the good work!

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